Bathroom Scale Jokes
50 bathroom scale jokes and hilarious bathroom scale puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bathroom scale that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bathroom Scale Short Jokes
Short bathroom scale jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bathroom scale humour may include short weighing scale jokes also.
- My wife asked me to get her something that goes from 0 to 200 in six seconds for her birthday. So I got her a bathroom scale.
- My wife said she wanted her birthday gift to go from 0-200 in less than ten seconds... ...so I bought her a bathroom scale.
- I'm going to go buy a bathroom scale and some glasses tomorrow. My plans after that? Weight and see.
- My wife said she wanted me to buy her something that will go from 0 to 160 in just a few seconds. "That sounds expensive, what did you buy her?"
"A set of bathroom scales." - I got one of those talking bathroom scales that is supposed to read your weight to you But when I step on it, it says "One at a time, please!"
- Before I rush off to the bathroom to pee, I just wanted to tell you what a good friend you are to me. on a scale from 1 to 10...
*urinate* - For our 25 year anniversary, my wife asked me for a present that goes from 0-200 in seconds. I got her a bathroom scale.
- For my birthday I wanted something that could go 0-200 in 5 seconds or less. My wife said she had the perfect gift idea A bathroom scale wasn't what I had in mind
- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale. - Someone stole my broken bathroom scales... ...but I'm confident they won't get a weigh with it.
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Bathroom Scale One Liners
Which bathroom scale one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bathroom scale? I can suggest the ones about weighing scales and weight scale.
- I tried to pick up the scale in the bathroom and threw out my back It weighs a lot
- I keep a banana in my bathroom It's for scale.
- My bathroom scale is like a ferrari I can go from 0 to 300 in about 5 seconds with it
Bathroom Scale Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bathroom scale you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bathroom sign jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bathroom scale pranks.
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, s**.
.. in his stomach.
"Ha! That's not going to help," she said.
"Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
A woman gets up in the morning.
She enters the bathroom, brushes her teeth, gets dressed and finally steps onto the weighing scale.
She looks down to see the results, and suddenly starts screaming happily.
"HONEY, I've lost 6kg since yesterday!", she yells.
The husband looks up from his newspaper and answers:
"Don't be so surprised, you haven't put on your make up yet!"
Johnny's wife Suzy is upset...
...Johnny has forgot their anniversary.
Suzy says, "If tomorrow I don't see a shiny, metal object that can go from 0 to 300 in a few seconds by tomorrow, I'm leaving you!"
The next day, Johnny wakes up early and goes to work. Suzy wakes up, looks into the driveway and sees a big box sitting there. Suzy runs down and opens it.
Inside she finds bathroom scales.
It is Bob's anniversary
It's Bob's 15th anniversary and he forgot. When he came home from work he didn't notice his wife was all made up with make up and a pretty dress. Bob asked his wife what was for dinner but she kept hinting that they should have a date night but Bob getting from work was tired so he made a sandwich and then took a nap. When Bob woke up, his wife was standing over him with a furious look on her face before she screamed "YOU FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY" Bob realized he just s**... up in a major way, but before he could make amends his wife kicked him while shouting " IF YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN THIS AGAIN THERE HAD BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 TO 200 IN LESS THAN 3 SECONDS". When Bob's wife woke up in the morning there was a small box in the driveway. She opened the box and in side she found : a bathroom scale.
Bob Has Been Missing since monday
A husband was in big trouble...
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
f**... arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.
Jason's wife Liane wanted something that in 6 seconds goes from 0-200..
So he bought her a bathroom scale.
You're fat liane, don't sugar coat it. Because you'll just eat that too.
My wife comes out of our bathroom with a defeated look on her face,
"...I think the scale is broken."
I reply with, "Oh, did you stand on it?"
Birthday Joke full funny
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.
He wanted a new truck.
She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less.
And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.
" So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
A woman is fed up with receiving lame birthday presents from her husband...
So, two weeks before her birthday, she tells her husband "You always get me the worst presents when my birthday rolls around. Well, this year had better be different. When I wake up in two weeks, there had better be something in the driveway that will go from O to 200 in less than 60 seconds!"
A week and 6 days pass, and the woman goes to bed, trembling with excitement as she imagines what the her husband has gotten her. The next morning, she wakes up early, and notices her husband is already missing from the bed. So, she rushes downstairs.
Her husband is already at the door, holding it open for her, a wide smile upon his face. She squeals with excitement, runs out the door, straight to the driveway....
Where she finds a bathroom scale, complete with a bow on top.
Their divorce was finalized 3 months later.
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary....
His wife was mad. She said "Tomorrow morning there better be a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds!" The next morning there was a box, gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob's been missing since Friday.
My wife said "If we ever win the lottery, I want you to buy me something compact, shiny, and can go from 0 to 200 in three seconds. I figured why wait, so surprised her that night.....
... with a shiny new bathroom scale.
A man's Wife says that she wants something that goes from 0-180 in under 10 seconds..
The man leaves for a moment and then returns with the scale from their bathroom.
My first blind date.
My friend set me up on a blind date and all I had was the phone number of the guy I was supposed to meet. So I call him up and ask how will I recognize him?
"I am 175cm tall and weigh 75kg and I will be standing in the corner. What about you?"
I replied, "Well, I guess I will be the one with a tape measure and a bathroom scale..."
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary.
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday!
You've been warned
TO WHOEVER STOLE MY BROKEN BATHROOM SCALE.
YOU WON'T GET A WEIGH WITH THIS!
Hey darling, what would you like for Christmas?
"Oh... I don't know... maybe something that gets from 0 to 100 in seconds when I step on it?"
"So... bathroom scales?"
Dave was trying to figure out what he would get his wife for her birthday...
Tired of racking his brain, he flat out asked her what she wanted. She replied "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds." So he bought her a bathroom scale.
Dave hasn't been heard from or seen since Thursday.
Bob forgets his anniversary.
Bob woke up one morning to find his wife waiting for him in the kitchen, looking unusually angry.
"What's wrong dear?"
"Do you know what yesterday was?"
At that moment Bob realized that yesterday was his anniversary with his wife.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry how could I forget?"
"Well it doesn't matter. I want something that can go 0-200 in less then 60 seconds on the front yard tomorrow."
The next morning, Bob's wife woke up and couldn't find Bob. So she went out in the front yard. Greeting her was neither a car nor Bob, it was a small cardboard box. Perplexed, she took the box inside the house and opened it.
Inside was a bathroom scale.
Bob had forgotten his wedding anniversary and was in trouble.
His wife was really angry.
She told him, Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday
0-100 real quick
So the wife is extremely angry at the husband for forgetting their anniversary. She yells at him,"I BETTER SEE SOMETHING IN THE DRIVEWAY THAT GOES FROM 0-300 IN 6 SECONDS" and storms off. The next day when she wakes up, she finds a giant box in the driveway. She gets dressed and goes to the driveway to investigate. When she opens it she finds a bathroom scale...
My wife asked me to get her something that can go from 0 to 100 in less than 3 seconds.
So I got her a bathroom scale.
While weighting my self on the bathroom scale I s**... in my gut.
My wife laughed and said, "Do you think that helps you weigh less?"
I said, "No but it does help me to see how much I weigh."
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, s**... in my stomach, she laughed, Ha! That's not going to help!
Sure, it does. I said. It's the only way I can see the numbers.
A wife finds her husband standing on the bathroom scale s**... in his gut
Wife laughing :you know that's not going to help.
Husband: yes it does. It's the only way I can see the numbers.
Weight check
A man stands on his bathroom scale. As his wife walks in she sees him inhale and hold it to s**... in his stomach.
She says "That's not going to make a difference".
He says "Sure it is, now I can see the numbers".
A husband forgot his wedding anniversary..
His wife was irate. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to see a gift in the driveway that goes 0-100 in two seconds.. AND IT BETTER BE THERE"
The next morning when she woke up, she looked out the window to find a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it, and found a brand new pair of bathroom scales.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Bob was in trouble...
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, s**... in his stomach
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that is going to help." "Sure it will," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers..
Should've been more specific
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really p**....
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Jim and Joe are sitting at a bar drinking and jim asks where is John? Joe says John is missing . What happened asks Jim . Well joe says
John forgot his wedding anniversary again. His wife flew into a fit of rage, walked out to the driveway pointed to the ground and said., I want a present that goes from 0 to 200 really fast and I want it here by tomorrow morning.
Fine says Jim but that doesn't explain where John is.
Well continued Joe they next morning his wife woke up walked out side and saw a big box with a ribbon so she opened it and saw a new set of bathroom scales and John hasn't been seen since
Bob was in trouble
He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary
His wife was mad. She told him tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!
The next morning she saw a big gift wrapped box in the driveway. She rushed out, opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob forget his wife's wedding anniversary
His wife was mad and demanded that there be something in the driveway the next morning that will go 0-200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.
So the next morning comes around and there was a massive box in the driveway.
His wife unwrapped the present excited, to find a set of bathroom scales.
Bob hasn't been seen since last Friday.