Bathroom Knock Knock Jokes
16 bathroom knock knock jokes and hilarious bathroom knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bathroom knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheeky Bathroom Knock Knock Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What is a good bathroom knock knock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Lawyers and Engineers
Three lawyers and three engineers are at a train station on their way to a conference. The lawyers line up and buy three tickets, but the engineers only buy one ticket between the three of them. The lawyers are confused, and ask how the engineers plan on taking the train with only one ticket. The engineers just tell them to wait and see.
So they all board the train. The lawyers each take a seat, but the engineers all crowd in to a bathroom. The train starts moving and the conductor comes around punching tickets. He punches each of the lawyers' tickets, and then knocks on the bathroom door and says "Ticket please!" The engineers crack open the door and slide out the one ticket, which the conductor punches and then slides back through the door.
The lawyers think this is pretty clever, so on the return trip, they buy one ticket for the three of them, but then the engineers don't buy any tickets at all. The lawyers ask how the engineers plan on taking the train without any tickets, and the engineers just tell them to wait and see.
So once again they board the train. The three lawyers crowd into one bathroom, and the three engineers crowd into another bathroom. Once the train starts moving, one of the engineers exits the bathroom, knocks on the door of the lawyers' bathroom, and says "Ticket please!"
A pig goes to a bar and knocks back ten beers.
"Need to know where the bathroom is? You've had quite a lot," asked the bartender.
"Nah," said the pig. "I'm the one that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."
The Two Nuns and the Blind man.
There were once two nuns taking a bath together when all of a sudden they hear a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" yells out one of the nuns.
"It's me, the blind man." replies the man at the door.
"Ok, come on up." calls the second nun.
A short moment later, they heard the footsteps up the staircase and soon the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oh, hello Sisters. I like your new towels. Now where do you want the blinds?"
Bu dum tss
A man goes into the bathroom to take a dump.
When he's done, he realizes there's no toilet paper. Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"
Got this one from my grandpa.
What to say when someone knocks on the door of the public bathroom stall you're in
"We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations."
If they reply "Well what about old friends?", then you really should probably consider if you're decent before letting Gandalf in.
An Estonian visits russia
He departs from Tallinn, the journey goes as planned until, 2 hours and a half in, he realizes he needs petrol otherwise he won't get to russia, so he stops at a gas station near narva, and decides to get a snack and go to the bathroom. So before filling up his car he gets off, walks to the gas station's shop's counter and asks for a sandwich, he eats it, and then goes to the bathroom, seeing all the doors closed, he knocks.
"Occupied"
"Again?!"
A woman is preparing dinner for her husband
While she was setting the table, a minister and the manager of the brewery the husband works at knock on the door.
When she opens the door the manager says, "We're extremely sorry, but this morning your husband fell into one of the vats of beer and drowned"
The woman explodes at the manager, "He died this morning and your telling me this now!?!?!?"
The manager replies, "Well, he got out a couple times to use the bathroom"
Three Greeks and Three Turks are riding a train.
The Turks each buy one ticket, but the Greeks only buy one ticket total. The Turks are confused.
"How can you ride with one ticket?"
"Watch and you shall see."
The Greeks get on the train and pile into the bathroom. The Turks sit near the bathroom and observe. The conductor knocks on the door and says "Ticket please." The Greeks slide the ticket through the door.
The Turks think this is ingenious! They decide to try it, so on the ride back they buy only one ticket. But the Greeks don't buy any.
"How will you ride without any tickets?"
"Watch and you shall see."
They get on the train. The Turks pile into one bathroom, the Greeks into another. One Greek gets out of the bathroom, walks over to the bathroom the Turks are hiding in, and says:
"Ticket please."
Three old ladies lived together.
1st old lady was in the bathroom on the second floor and she yelled to the other two, I need help, I can't remember if I was about to take a shower or if I already took it . The second old lady was down stairs and she started going up the stairs to go help, but as she reached the second floor she stopped and wondered out loud, did I come up the stairs or was I going down? Seeing all this the third old lady who was sitting down started laughing and she muttered I'm so glad I'm not as dumb and crazy as those two, oh knock on wood and she knocked on the wooden table. She then got up and yelled to the other two I'll go help you but first I gotta go see who's at the door .
A man working in a brewery dies after falling in a vat of beer
The manager and CEO go to the mans house in the evening and knock on the door.
The mans wife opens the door and seeing the sombre look on the two men's faces cautiously asks *"Whats wrong!?"*
*"We have some bad news your husband died in a terrible accident at work today"* replied the manager *"He fell into a vat of beer early this morning and drowned"*
The wife looks back into the house where the table is set for dinner and the mans return *"This morning?"* she asks angrily *"And you are only just telling me now!!?"*
*"Well"* the CEO starts *"He fell in this morning but it took him all day to drown - he kept getting out to use the bathroom..."*
Three old women are commiserating...
Myrtle, Edith and Bertha are sitting around commiserating about the pitfalls of old age. Myrtle says, "The other day, I was in the bathroom with one leg in the tub, and I couldn't remember if I was stepping in or stepping out!". Then Edith chimes in, "Well that's nothing! The other day I was at the bottom of the stairs and I didn't know if I was going up or had just come down!". Bertha looks at both of them and chuckles. "Well, I don't have any of these problems, knock on wood!" she leans over and knocks on the wood of the coffee table, and a moment later calls out, "Yes?! Who is it?"
Little Johnny
One day, Little Johnny came home from school early and walked in on his parents having s**....
Little Johnny: "What are you two doing?"
Father: "I am playing *Poker* son"
Little Johnny: "What about mom?"
Father: "Don't worry about her, she is my *Wildcard*"
Little Johnny shrugged, put down is backpack and went to the bathroom. An hour passed by and his dad became concerned.
Father: *Knocks on the door* "Little Johnny! Are you okay?" *No response* "LITTLE JOHNNY! ARE YOU OKAY?"
Still no response, his dad knocks down the door to catch Little Johnny playing with himself.
Father: "What were you doing in here, Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny: "I was playing *Poker*, Dad."
Father: "Oh really? If you're playing *Poker, then where is your Wildcard*?"
Little Johnny: "*Dad, when you have a hand this good, you don't need no Wildcard*"
Ticket Please!
A group 3 Pakistanis and a group 3 Indians were all heading to the Cricket World cup via Train. Upon entering the train the Indian group saw the Pakistanis just pay for a single while they bought 3 individual tickets.
When the conductor came along the Indians saw that all 3 Pakistanis quickly filed in to the bathroom. The conductor knocked on the door and asked for the ticket. A single hand came out and handed him the ticket. Observing this the Indians decided to try it on their return trip.
On the return trip the Indians bought a single ticket and the same group of Pakistanis bought no ticket at all! When the conductor came along the 3 Pakistanis filed into one bathroom while the 3 Indians filed into another.
Then one Pakistani came out of the bathroom knocked on the door of the Indians bathroom and asked, "Ticket please!"
Two doctors
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s**... for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
There was once a man who woke up every morning and f**... really loudly...
Every day he would wake up, release the pressure, and his wife would say in disgust "one of these days, you're going to f**... your guts out". So one Thanksgiving, the wife got up early to start fixing the feast for the day. As she was removing the giblets from the turkey, she had an idea. Sneaking back up to the bedroom, she carefully lifted the back of her husbands pajamas and placed the giblets into his pants, then snuck back downstairs and continued her work. After a while, she heard her husbands alarm go off and, just as every morning, the eruptive release of high pressure gasses. She giggled to herself and her small prank, and waited for him to come down stairs. Five minutes went by, and there was no sign of him, but she kept preparing the meal. Ten minutes...Fifteen...and now she was a little worried so she went up to check on him. She noticed the bathroom light was on, so she knocked on the door and asked "honey are you ok?" He came out and sheepishly replied "Well, it finally happened. I f**... my guts out. But by the grace of god, and these two fingers, I was able to get them back in."
The train ride to the engineering and math convention
A math/engineering convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were a bunch of math majors and a bunch of engineering majors. Each of the math majors had his/her train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The math majors started laughing and snickering.
Then, one of the engineers said "here comes the conductor" and then all of the engineers went into the bathroom. The math majors were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the math majors.
He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please" and the engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and then the engineers came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. The math majors felt really s**....
So, on the way back from the convention, the group of math majors had one ticket for the group. They started snickering at the engineers, for the whole group had no tickets amongst them. Then, the engineer lookout said "Conductor coming!". All the engineers went to one bathroom. All the math majors went to another bathroom. Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "ticket please."
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