The Best 72 Bathroom Call Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bathroom Call jokes. There are some bathroom call bueller jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bathroom call call of duty puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Bathroom Call Jokes and Puns

A blonde man marries his girlfriend who is also blonde.

It's their first honeymoon night and the man doesn't quite know what to do. He calls his dad, who says, "Son, you take the hardest thing you got and you put it where she goes to the bathroom." The newlywed thanks his father, hangs up the phone, and places his bowling ball in the toilet.

This man walks into a bar. He sits on a bar stool & says to the bartender, "Hey jackass, bring me a shot." The bartender brings him a shot. The man slams it down & yells again, "Hey jackass, bring me another shot," and gets up to go to the bathroom. While the man is gone, another guy sitting at the bar asks the bartender, "Why do you let him call you that?" The bartender responds, "He aw- He aw- He always calls me that."

Who knows where Jesus is?

A Sunday School teacher was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

Bathroom Call joke, Who knows where Jesus is?

A middle school in Oregon

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

The Two Nuns and the Blind man.

There were once two nuns taking a bath together when all of a sudden they hear a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" yells out one of the nuns.
"It's me, the blind man." replies the man at the door.
"Ok, come on up." calls the second nun.
A short moment later, they heard the footsteps up the staircase and soon the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oh, hello Sisters. I like your new towels. Now where do you want the blinds?"
Bu dum tss

Only three doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

What did the gamer hear that made him rush to the bathroom?

The call of Doodie.

Bathroom Call joke, What did the gamer hear that made him rush to the bathroom?

My Bathroom

I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John.

It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning.

I go to the Jim every morning

Are you thin? Are you overweight? Are you fighting the battle of the bulge? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle? Are you plain lazy? Do you have someone or the other always telling you to go to the gym?

Here's something for you...

"Instead of calling my bathroom the John, I call it the Jim.
That way it sounds a lot better when I tell people I go to the Jim first thing every morning :-)"

Where do most people play Call of Duty?

In the bathroom.

I have invented a new game.

You lock yourself and 9 other friends in a house that has 2 bathrooms. You all then take a load of laxative and fight over the toilets.
I call it 'Game Of Thrones'

You can explore bathroom call tub reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bathroom call bath dad jokes. There are also bathroom call puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Kiss The Mirror

A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.

Work-out with a smile

I didn't make it to the gym today, that makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the "john" and renamed it the "jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the jim this morning.

Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtains for a burglar. If you find one, what's your plan??

Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege!

There's a hotel with no bathrooms

Its called the Holdinit Inn

Instead of "the John" I decided to start calling my bathroom "the Jim"

I needed to workout more. Now first thing in the morning I always go to the Jim!

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Bathroom Call joke, What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

What do you call the urinal section of the bathroom?

The place where all the dicks hang out.

What do you call someone waiting right outside the bathroom?

Next in line for the throne

What is it called when you get a bathroom hand job while listening to blues?

W.C. Handy

Written by a married person :

"Only after marriage did I understand why bathrooms are also called RESTROOMS !!!" 😜😝😜

What do you call the surveillance system that watches us all whilst we are in the bathroom?

the panoptijohn


The flight crew all showed up on time, all except for one brand-new stewardess. They called the hotel and she answered the phone, sobbing. I can't get out of my room, she cried. What... Why not? There are only three doors in this room. One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and the other way has a sign hanging on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'.

My first blind date.

My friend set me up on a blind date and all I had was the phone number of the guy I was supposed to meet. So I call him up and ask how will I recognize him?
"I am 175cm tall and weigh 75kg and I will be standing in the corner. What about you?"
I replied, "Well, I guess I will be the one with a tape measure and a bathroom scale..."

What's it called when you're killing time at work hiding in the bathroom?


Broken Window

Wife: You need to fix the bathroom window, then neighbor can see me every time I shower.
Husband; I know, he saw you and called me to tell me he's paying for the window repair.

What do you call Vladimir Putin when he's using the bathroom?

Vladimir Pupin

What do you call a European using the bathroom?


What do you call a bomb in a French bathroom?

Linoleum Blownapart!

Most people call their bathroom john but I call mine jim...

So now I can say that every morning when I wake up, I go to the jim.

What do you call it when you run into the same Iranian in different bathrooms?

Same Shiite different toilet.

What do you call a person in the bathroom?


What do you call it when someone writes 'Jesus Loves You' on the side of a bathroom stall



I've decided to no longer refer to the bathroom as "the john". Instead I will call it "the jim". That way, I can say in all honesty that I went to the jim this morning.

What do you call a Frenchman urinating in a German's bathroom?

A Euro-pean

A blonde calls the front desk of her hotel in a panic.

"Help! I'm trapped in my room!" she says. "How do I get out?"

The clerk at the front desk says, "just go out the door."

"I tried," she says "but one just leads to the bathroom, and the other has a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it!"

The other day my girl friend called me her booger sugar

Because she likes to do me in secret In the bathroom.

A carpenter sent me her bill for installing a skylight in my windowless bathroom.

I only paid her half the bill. She called and asked why. I said, It doesn't work at night.

What do you call a bathroom where police send people to jail?

A restroom

When you're drying your hands with a bathroom hand dryer ...

... would you call that a hand job, or a blow job?

What do you call a non-binary bathroom?

A guess-t bathroom.

What do you call someone who lives in a bathroom?

A lieutenant.

What do you call a bathroom with no bath?

A bathroom.

What do you call someone who goes to the bathroom 100 times per night?

A centipeed.

My flat mate was always scared whenever my other flat mate went to the toilet

I'd call him and go 'hey Brad is Mike home?' and Brad would reply 'I'm afraid he's in the bathroom'

What's it called when having to use the bathroom gets you out of a bad conversation?

Deuce Ex Machina

What do you call it, when a trashcan goes to the bathroom?

A dump

What's it called when you go to the bathroom after eating bad pizza?

The Domino's effect

I was called to school because my 9 year old son vandalized a wall in school's bathroom with a permanent marker again

That's where he drew the line

What do you call a bathroom in a wormhole?

A portal potty.

Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own

I aim to keep it neat

So drain your soul, pee down the hole

And not upon the seat

I decided to stop calling the bathroom 'John' and renamed it 'Jim'.

I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this morning

I broke up with my boyfriend and fell asleep while he packed his stuff. I woke up to him gone and he took my toilet also.

Police were called, they saw the hole in the bathroom and are looking into it. Meanwhile, they have nothing to go on.

Doctors disscover that women find men higgly attractive when they need to go to the bathroom.

They call it the " you're an eight " phenomenon

Always be careful when renovating bathrooms

It's all going wall until the bank calls you talking about how urine debt

What do you call a veteran who sleeps in a bathroom stall?

A loo-tenant.

What do you call a British soldier who lives in a bathroom?

A Lu - Tennant

My wife and I tried this amazing new sex position today

It's called me alone in the bathroom with my phone

What do you call a bathroom with no toilet paper?

Scott Free

Apple just announced a new line of hidden camera surveillance products, including a glass that sits on your bathroom sink.

They're calling it The iCup.

A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.

Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?

The desk clerk says, Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?

The person says, Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it.

Renamed my bathroom

Now it called "The Gym" , and I can talk to my friends about how I've already been today.

Little Johnny is in Catholic School

The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"

Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."

Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."

Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."

The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.

Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"

I got a book in my bathroom that I write my feelings and personal thoughts into while on the toilet

I call it my diarrhea

What is a drug lord's bathroom called?

The powder room

What do you call a country that can't afford bathrooms?

A turd-world country

Heard this one during a real science lecture two years ago.

"In the event of a tornado, you will want to hide in a safe spot." said the teacher. "A good place to hide would be one with the least number of windows. So where should you hide?"

One of the intellectuals thinks for a moment and then raises his hand. The teacher calls on him.

"You should hide outside!"

P.S: In the event of a tornado, hide in a basement, closet or bathroom. Don't die.

Two girls are sitting in a bar

The one girl says: "Take my phone, can you please call my mother that I'll be home soon? I really need to use the bathroom now."

The other girl answers: "Sure, what is your password?"

"Snow White and all the seven dwarfs." the one girl replies.

The other girl frowns and asks: "Seriously? Why is that your password?"

"Well, I like fairytales", the one girl says. "and it had to be at least 8 characters."

I've designed a bathroom stall door that will open for everyone except British detectives.

It's called a No Shit, Sure-Lock.

Walmart Bathroom

I was in Walmart using the restroom and just as I closed my stall door, a voice from the next stall said, Hi! How are you?
Embarrassed... I said, I'm ok!"
The voice said, "So what are you up to?
I said, Ummm... Just trying to handle a little private business over here!
Then I hear, Can I come over?
Annoyed... I said Excuse me?!?!."
Then the voice said, Listen, I will have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!"


What do you call it when you're bathroom tile that you ordered online falls off the shipment truck due to company mismanagement?

e wrecked tile dysfunction

What do you call the Russian president when he's in the bathroom?

Vladimir Poopin

An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub.

The apparent cause of death was starvation. Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.

The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the relatives,

"Was he a programmer?"

"Yes, why?"

She wordlessly shows them a large shampoo bottle with an instruction: "1. Apply the shampoo. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat the procedure."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bathroom call call mama jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bathroom call call me maybe piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes