Bathroom Call Jokes
101 bathroom call jokes and hilarious bathroom call puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bathroom call that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bathroom Call Short Jokes
Short bathroom call jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bathroom call humour may include short bathroom sign jokes also.
- My Bathroom I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John.
It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning.
- I decided to stop calling the bathroom 'John' and renamed it 'Jim'. I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this morning
- jim I've decided to no longer refer to the bathroom as "the john". Instead I will call it "the jim". That way, I can say in all honesty that I went to the jim this morning.
- I decided to call my bathroom Jim instead of John So I feel better by saying "I went to the Jim this morning"
- From now on instead of saying #1 or #2 for the bathroom I'm going to call it an R. Kelly or Amber Heard
- Broken Window Wife: You need to fix the bathroom window, then neighbor can see me every time I shower.
Husband; I know, he saw you and called me to tell me he's paying for the window repair. - Apple just announced a new line of hidden camera surveillance products, including a glass that sits on your bathroom sink. They're calling it The iCup.
- Bathroom Poetry This little throne I call my own
I aim to keep it neat
So drain your soul, pee down the hole
And not upon the seat - What do you call it when you're bathroom tile that you ordered online falls off the shipment truck due to company mismanagement? e wrecked tile dysfunction
- Renamed my bathroom Now it called "The Gym" , and I can talk to my friends about how I've already been today.
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Bathroom Call One Liners
Which bathroom call one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bathroom call? I can suggest the ones about bathroom stall and washroom.
- What do you call someone who lives in a bathroom? A lieutenant.
- What's it called when you're killing time at work hiding in the bathroom? Stalling.
- What do you call the Russian president when he's in the bathroom? Vladimir Poopin
- What do you call a bomb in a French bathroom? Linoleum Blownapart!
- What is a drug lord's bathroom called? The powder room
- What do you call Vladimir Putin when he's using the bathroom? Vladimir Pupin
- There's a hotel with no bathrooms Its called the Holdinit Inn
- What did the gamer hear that made him rush to the bathroom? The call of Doodie.
- What do you call it, when a trashcan goes to the bathroom? A dump
- What do you call a bathroom where police send people to jail? A restroom
- What do you call a person in the bathroom? European
- What do you call a European using the bathroom? 'You're-a-peein"
- What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom? A swipe and wipe.
- What do you call a non-binary bathroom? A guess-t bathroom.
- What's it called when you go to the bathroom after eating bad pizza? The Domino's effect
Cheerful Fun Bathroom Call Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about bathroom call you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bathroom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bathroom call pranks.
A blonde man marries his girlfriend who is also blonde.
It's their first honeymoon night and the man doesn't quite know what to do. He calls his dad, who says, "Son, you take the hardest thing you got and you put it where she goes to the bathroom." The newlywed thanks his father, hangs up the phone, and places his bowling ball in the toilet.
This man walks into a bar. He sits on a bar stool & says to the bartender, "Hey j**..., bring me a shot." The bartender brings him a shot. The man slams it down & yells again, "Hey j**..., bring me another shot," and gets up to go to the bathroom. While the man is gone, another guy sitting at the bar asks the bartender, "Why do you let him call you that?" The bartender responds, "He aw- He aw- He always calls me that."
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers... and then there are educators.
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down.
He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring.
As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?"
To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!"
And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
Who knows where Jesus is?
A Sunday School teacher was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
The Two Nuns and the Blind man.
There were once two nuns taking a bath together when all of a sudden they hear a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" yells out one of the nuns.
"It's me, the blind man." replies the man at the door.
"Ok, come on up." calls the second nun.
A short moment later, they heard the footsteps up the staircase and soon the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oh, hello Sisters. I like your new towels. Now where do you want the blinds?"
Bu dum tss
The doctor and the plumber
A wealthy doctor finds that his bathroom sink has sprung a leak. So he looks in the Yellow Pages and calls in a plumber to repair the pipe.
The plumber arrives and, after about 15 minutes, fixes the problem completely. He hands the doctor a bill for $250 and begins to walk back to his truck. The doctor, upon seeing the fee, exclaims, "What? This amount is ridiculous! It's even more than I charge!"
The plumber turns around with a grin on his face and says, "I know, I used to be a doctor too."
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Why did the gamer run to the bathroom?
He felt the call of doodie!
I go to the Jim every morning
Are you thin? Are you overweight? Are you fighting the battle of the bulge? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle? Are you plain lazy? Do you have someone or the other always telling you to go to the gym?
Here's something for you...
"Instead of calling my bathroom the John, I call it the Jim.
That way it sounds a lot better when I tell people I go to the Jim first thing every morning :-)"
Where do most people play Call of Duty?
In the bathroom.
I have invented a new game.
You lock yourself and 9 other friends in a house that has 2 bathrooms. You all then take a load of laxative and fight over the toilets.
I call it 'Game Of Thrones'
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
Work-out with a smile
I didn't make it to the gym today, that makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the "john" and renamed it the "jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the jim this morning.
Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtains for a burglar. If you find one, what's your plan??
Everyone has the right to be s**.... Some just a**... the privilege!
Instead of "the John" I decided to start calling my bathroom "the Jim"
I needed to workout more. Now first thing in the morning I always go to the Jim!
What do you call a b**... only bathroom?
The jiggaloo.
What do you call the u**... section of the bathroom?
The place where all the d**... hang out.
What do you call someone waiting right outside the bathroom?
Next in line for the throne
What is it called when you get a bathroom h**... while listening to blues?
W.C. Handy
Written by a married person :
"Only after marriage did I understand why bathrooms are also called RESTROOMS !!!" 😜😝😜
What do you call the surveillance system that watches us all whilst we are in the bathroom?
the panoptijohn
BLONDE FLIGHT ATTENDANT
The flight crew all showed up on time, all except for one brand-new stewardess. They called the hotel and she answered the phone, sobbing. I can't get out of my room, she cried. What... Why not? There are only three doors in this room. One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and the other way has a sign hanging on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'.
My first blind date.
My friend set me up on a blind date and all I had was the phone number of the guy I was supposed to meet. So I call him up and ask how will I recognize him?
"I am 175cm tall and weigh 75kg and I will be standing in the corner. What about you?"
I replied, "Well, I guess I will be the one with a tape measure and a bathroom scale..."
Most people call their bathroom john but I call mine jim...
So now I can say that every morning when I wake up, I go to the jim.
What do you call it when you run into the same Iranian in different bathrooms?
Same Shiite different toilet.
What does Batman call the place where he goes p**...?
The Bat-hroom
What do you call it when someone writes 'Jesus Loves You' on the side of a bathroom stall
Evandalism
What do you call a Frenchman urinating in a German's bathroom?
A Euro-pean
A blonde calls the front desk of her hotel in a panic.
"Help! I'm trapped in my room!" she says. "How do I get out?"
The clerk at the front desk says, "just go out the door."
"I tried," she says "but one just leads to the bathroom, and the other has a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it!"
The other day my girl friend called me her booger sugar
Because she likes to do me in secret In the bathroom.
A carpenter sent me her bill for installing a skylight in my windowless bathroom.
I only paid her half the bill. She called and asked why. I said, It doesn't work at night.
When you're drying your hands with a bathroom hand dryer ...
... would you call that a h**..., or a b**...?
What do you call a bathroom with no bath?
A bathroom.
What do you call someone who goes to the bathroom 100 times per night?
A centipeed.
My flat mate was always scared whenever my other flat mate went to the toilet
I'd call him and go 'hey Brad is Mike home?' and Brad would reply 'I'm afraid he's in the bathroom'
What's it called when having to use the bathroom gets you out of a bad conversation?
Deuce Ex Machina
What do you call it when bathroom janitors get together?
a porta-party!
I was called to school because my 9 year old son vandalized a wall in school's bathroom with a permanent marker again
That's where he drew the line
What do you call a bathroom in a wormhole?
A portal p**....
What do you call a dog that goes to the bathroom indoors?
A pet project.
I broke up with my boyfriend and fell asleep while he packed his stuff. I woke up to him gone and he took my toilet also.
Police were called, they saw the hole in the bathroom and are looking into it. Meanwhile, they have nothing to go on.
Doctors disscover that women find men higgly attractive when they need to go to the bathroom.
They call it the " you're an eight " phenomenon
Always be careful when renovating bathrooms
It's all going wall until the bank calls you talking about how u**... debt
What do you call a veteran who sleeps in a bathroom stall?
A loo-tenant.
What do you call a British soldier who lives in a bathroom?
A Lu - Tennant
My wife and I tried this amazing new s**... position today
It's called me alone in the bathroom with my phone
What do you call a bathroom with no toilet paper?
Scott Free
I'd been having some stomach issues, so I went to the GI
He said I should keep a bathroom journal, but I prefer to call it a log book.
A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.
Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?
The desk clerk says, Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?
The person says, Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it.
Little Johnny is in Catholic School
The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"
Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."
Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."
Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."
The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.
Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
I got a book in my bathroom that I write my feelings and personal thoughts into while on the toilet
I call it my diarrhea
What do you call a country that can't afford bathrooms?
A t**...-world country
Heard this one during a real science lecture two years ago.
"In the event of a tornado, you will want to hide in a safe spot." said the teacher. "A good place to hide would be one with the least number of windows. So where should you hide?"
One of the intellectuals thinks for a moment and then raises his hand. The teacher calls on him.
"You should hide outside!"
P.S: In the event of a tornado, hide in a basement, closet or bathroom. Don't die.
Two girls are sitting in a bar
The one girl says: "Take my phone, can you please call my mother that I'll be home soon? I really need to use the bathroom now."
The other girl answers: "Sure, what is your password?"
"Snow White and all the seven dwarfs." the one girl replies.
The other girl frowns and asks: "Seriously? Why is that your password?"
"Well, I like fairytales", the one girl says. "and it had to be at least 8 characters."
I've designed a bathroom stall door that will open for everyone except British detectives.
It's called a No s**..., Sure-Lock.
Walmart Bathroom
I was in Walmart using the restroom and just as I closed my stall door, a voice from the next stall said, Hi! How are you?
Embarrassed... I said, I'm ok!"
The voice said, "So what are you up to?
I said, Ummm... Just trying to handle a little private business over here!
Then I hear, Can I come over?
Annoyed... I said Excuse me?!?!."
Then the voice said, Listen, I will have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!"
Embarrassed!!
An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub.
The apparent cause of death was starvation. Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.
The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the relatives,
"Was he a programmer?"
"Yes, why?"
She wordlessly shows them a large shampoo bottle with an instruction: "1. Apply the shampoo. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat the procedure."
