Bathing Suit Jokes
24 bathing suit jokes and hilarious bathing suit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bathing suit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bathing Suit Short Jokes
Short bathing suit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bathing suit humour may include short bikini jokes also.
- Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
- Customer: I'd like to try on that bathing suit in your front window. Saleswoman: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to use the dressing room.
- You know why the 2 piece bathing suit was invented? To separate the dairy section from meat section...
- How many German Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to dress up in a gorilla suit and one to fill a bath tub full of vanilla pudding.
- Yo momma's so fat, she wore a black bathing suit to the pool and everyone yelled "oil spill!"
- I actually find one piece bathing suit to be more s**.... Doesn't matter if you keep the top or the bottom.
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Bathing Suit One Liners
Which bathing suit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bathing suit? I can suggest the ones about swimming trunk and bathing.
- Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit? She was a little husky.
- Yo mama so fat, when she wore her yellow bathing suit, the sun got jealous.
- What is a two-piece bath suit with wild animals motive? Zoo-Chini
- How do you see how fast somebody streaked by in their bathing suit? With a speedo meter
- Did you hear the story about skin-toned bathing suits? It was fake n**....
Bathing Suit Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bathing suit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean underwear jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bathing suit pranks.
Potato in bathing suit joke
Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
You know what's funny about bathing suits?
If a man swims in a bathing suit that only covers his private parts, he will almost always be swimming competitively. If a woman swims in a bathing suit that only covers her private parts, she will almost always be swimming casually.
Beach days ….
My friend tells me if you really want the girls to notice you at the beach practice your walk, get a nice Speedo bathing suit, and toss a potato down into the Speedo. This will drive the woman nuts.!!
Well I did everything, but still had no luck.
This is when he informed me that the potato was supposed to be in the front ……
A guy at the beach hears from his friends that chicks will show more interest in you if you put a potato in your swim trunks.
He tries this for a while but gets flustered when all the girls keep pointing and laughing at him.
So his friends explain to him that you're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT of your bathing suit.
Working at a potato farm
I work at a potato farm. One day my coworker and I got invited to a multi day potato convention near Myrtle Beach. After the first day at the convention we decided to walk the beach and my co-worker Mark was really amazed at how all the ladies seemed to be checking me out.
"Wow" he said, "how do you get all the girls to check you out?"
"Oh, that's easy", I replied. Just stuff a potato down your bathing suit.
The next day after the convention we decided to walk the beach again. This time, all the ladies were looking at Mark with disgusted looks on their face.
"I don't get it", Mark said, "I did what you said."
"Oh Mark", I said, looking him over, "You've got to put the potato in the front!"
An American tourist goes to the beach on the French Riviera......
and he gets flagged down by the beachside bathing suit store owner. Monsieur, you cannot wear cutoff jeans to the beach here, and talks him into buying a speedo type, telling him: "the women will drool over you when you're wearing it." He puts it on and leaves for the beach. The tourist comes back an hour later saying that the women still ignore him and give him disapproving looks as he walks by. The store owner looks down at his c**... and then hands him a potato and says "Monsieur, put this down your suit and the women will be unable to resist you for sure". The tourist comes back after 15 minutes, and says that now the women were throwing things at him and one even threw up when he walked past her.
The store owner says: Monsieur, the potato goes in the front of the suit!"
Two Old Ladies
There were once two old Jewish ladies on a vacation in Israel. They are floating together out in the dead sea when one says to the other, "want a smoke?"
She replies, "Here? How?" The first lady reaches in to her bathing suit and pulls out a balloon with two cigarettes and a lighter in it. The second one asks, "What's that?"
"Oh? You don't know? It's a c**...!" They smoke, relax, and enjoy themselves. After they've been floating for a while, the second old lady says,
"And where can I get this c**...?"
"Just over at the drugstore, easy."
Later that day, the second old lady walks into the nearest pharmacy, goes up to the teller, and asks for a c**.... The teller is a young man who is quite bemused at this bent old lady coming in to buy a c**..., so he decides to y**... her chain a bit.
"And what size c**... would you like?"
"Oh, I dunno, big enough for a camel."