Bathe Jokes
37 bathe jokes and hilarious bathe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bathe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bathe Short Jokes
Short bathe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bathe humour may include short taking bath jokes also.
- Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
- Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven ate nine grams of bath salts and then killed all of the other numbers.
- Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
- Two monkeys entered a bath. Monkey 1: Oooh oooh oooh aaah aaah aaah
Monkey 2: Calm down, it isn't that hot - A male snake charmer married a female undertaker.. Their bath towel read "Hiss" and "Hearse"
- I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponge. We called him Martin Loofah King.
- How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.
- When I was small my parents used to bath me in cheap Australian lager It wasn't until I was 18 I realised I had been Fostered
- I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath.
- While bathing my 6 year old son, he stuck a wet foam letter to my back. I pulled the letter "P" away from my skin and my son said "Dad, I peed on your back!"
-true story, just happened.
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Bathe One Liners
Which bathe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bathe? I can suggest the ones about taking a bath and bed bath.
- My roommate accused me of not respecting his boundaries.. Totally ruined our bath.
- Wife asked me to get "bath stuff" for xmas. Hope she likes her toaster.
- My 5yo hit me with this: what do you call an elephant who refuses to bath? A Smellephant!
- 7 dwarves in a bath and they all felt Happy So Happy got out.
- I asked my husband for a bath bomb for Christmas He got me a toaster.
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Do you know what to do if an epileptic has an attack in bath? Quickly add your laundry.
- I dropped my phone in the bath Now it's syncing.
- What did Archimedes say when he peed in the bath? UREA!!!
- So a German installs a bath around his desk... BADUMTISCH
- Hey girl are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you
- I gave my cat a bath the other day... he liked it, but the fur stuck to my tongue.
- Why does Tiger have to take so many baths? Because he plays with Pooh all day.
- If 2020 were a bath bomb... It would be a toaster.
- How does Mike Tyson like his bath? Grilled.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Bathe Jokes
What funny jokes about bathe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bath tub jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bathe pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do baseball players know when to bathe?
Foul b**...
It's OK to watch an elephant bathe
as they usually have their trunks on.
A woman had a terrible skin disease
That covered her legs. She went to a dermatologist and he said
"What you have is very rare but easily cured. Take a bath in milk for 3 nights and it will go away."
The woman went home and called the local grocery store and said
"I would like to buy 40 gallons of milk to bathe in."
The man on the phone exclaimed "40 gallons pasturized!?"
She said "heavens no... Just past my waist."
A five year old read a story about a king
5yo: mom, i also want 3 wives, one to feed me, one to bathe me, one to sing for me.
mom: and which one will put you to sleep?
5yo: none, i'd still sleep with you.
mom: you're the best son ever. but where will your wives sleep then?
5yo: they can sleep with dad.
dad: you really are the best son ever.
My Parents Love Me
Whenever I went to bathe they would shower me with Toasters, Hair Dryers, and Fans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not your typical response
Some guy was having fun with another woman in her house. He finished up and as he was ready to leave, he realizes he smells like her perfume. So he had a great idea. He went to a local bar, drank a few good ones and went home.
His wife smelled him and said:
"Do you think I'm s**..., huh? You can bathe yourself in a women's perfume all you want, I can still guess you went to a bar, you drunk!".
An expecting couple is buying party supplies.
The cashier asks What's the occasion?
Oh, We are having our baby shower, says the wife.
That's pretty impressive, says the cashier. My wife and I still have to bathe ours.
A King is being admired by his people...
They bring him food, bathe him, protect his castle, and all he has to do is shake a paw every once and a while..
What do you call a furry who doesn't bathe?
A furry
Doctor : "I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life."
Me : OH MY GOD!
Doctor : Just kidding. She's dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today, I realized that my peasants really are revolting.
They do not bathe even before executing their king.
What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't bathe?
Ex-stink-t
My dad trying to explain what dish cleaner does. "So basically it erases the fat of dishes... well not er~"
Me interrupting: "then why don't you bathe in it?"
People say gamerphobia isn't a problem...
and then continue to get mad at me when I forget to stop wearing the same clothes and bathe for 20 years
Isn't it funny why we hate rain but bathe in water.
We eat apples but duck if someone throws one at you.
We play with soccerballs but duck if one flys towards you.
How did the Red Sea get its name?
Cleopatra used to bathe there periodically.
Why didn't medieval people bathe?
Because they were afraid of spreading cooties
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... After Death
A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Judy ..Judy.':
'Is that you, Steve?'
'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'
That's wonderful! What's it like?'
'Well, I get up in the morning, I have s**... I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have s**... again, bathe in the warm sun and then have s**... a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have s**... the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more s**... until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.'
'Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!'
'Not exactly . I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona.'
I suffer from ADHD, sorry if Wow that butterfly is I need to bathe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't s**... b**... bathe?
Because they are preparing a stink bomb
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TV Anchor and A Shapherd
TV Anchor to a Shapherd: "What do you feed your goat?"
Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"
Anchor: "hmm! The black one"
Shepherd: "Grass"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shepherd: "Also Grass"
Anchor: "How do you bathe them?"
Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shepherd: "With water"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shepherd: "Also with water"
Anchor: "Where do you house them?"
Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shepherd: "In the large barn"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shepherd: "Also in the large barn"
Anchor: "m**..., If you treat them both the same way, why do you keep asking me which one, the black or white?"
Shepherd: "Because the white goat is mine."
Anchor: "And the black one?
Shepherd: "That is also mine"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TV Anchor and A Shepherd
TV anchor to a Shapherd: "What do you feed your goat?"
Shapherd: "Which one, the black one or the white one?"
Anchor: "hmm! The black one"
Shapherd: "Grass"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shapherd: "Also Grass"
Anchor: "How do you bathe them?"
Shapherd: "Which one, the black one or the white one?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shapherd: "With water"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shapherd: "Also with water"
Anchor: "Where do you house them?"
Shapherd: "Which one, the black one or the white one?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shapherd: "In the large barn"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shapherd: "Also in the large barn"
Anchor: "m**..., If you treat them both the same way, why do you keep asking me which one, the black or white?"
Shapherd: "Because the white goat is mine."
Anchor: "And the black one?
Shapherd: "That is also mine"
