5 year old son after reading a story of a king
Son : mom, I also want 3 wives, one will bathe , one will cook and one will sing
Mom : which one will put you to sleep?
Son: no mom, I will still sleep with you. Mom's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son
Mom : who will the 3 wives sleep with?
Son : let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled with tears... God bless you son
I had a nosebleed in the shower.
Son:Mom, I also want 5 wives.one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me
Mom:And one will put you to sleep
Son:No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son
Mom:but who will sleep with your 5 wives?
Son:Let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son!
5 year old son after reading story of a king says to his mom:
Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives... one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me
Mom: And which one will put you to sleep
Son: No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears.
Mom: God bless you son. But who will sleep with your 3 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son !
Happy Father's day!
5 year old son after reading story of a king.
Son:Mom, I also want 5 wives..one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......
Mom:....And one will put you to sleep
Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son
Mom: but who will sleep with your 5 wives
Son: Let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears...
God bless you son !
and they decide to bathe in the river. God shows up and sees Eve washing her vagina and shouts, "No! Now all of the fish are going to smell like that!"
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion .... Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep, and then, the next day it starts all over again!
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"
"No -- I'm a rabbit somewhere in South Carolina.
A nun is sitting in the bath, washing herself. Suddenly a knock comes at the door.
"Knock Knock"
She freezes. Who could this be, knocking at such a time?
She continues to bathe, when...
"Knock Knock"
She knows nobody can see a Bride of Christ in a state of undress, and so calls out " Who is it?"
To her relief the response is:
" Blind man"
She, being a bride of Christ, cannot refuse the poor fellow residence. She continues to bathe herself, and lets the blind man enter.
He walks in, has a quick look around, and says;
" Nice tits! Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
And everyday, when the nurse comes in to bathe her, she notices slight changes in her vital stats whenever she washes near her crotch. So the nurse fetches the woman's husband and says,
"I think a little oral sex is all your wife needs to come out of this coma."
The husband nods and asks for a little privacy. The nurse leaves, but after a few minutes she hears a horrible clatter followed by the woman flat-lining. The nurse runs in and yells,
"What the hell happened?"
The husband replied, "I don't know! I think she choked!"
TV Anchor to a Shapherd: "What do you feed your goat?"
Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"
Anchor: "hmm! The black one"
Shepherd: "Grass"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shepherd: "Also Grass"
Anchor: "How do you bathe them?"
Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shepherd: "With water"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shepherd: "Also with water"
Anchor: "Where do you house them?"
Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shepherd: "In the large barn"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shepherd: "Also in the large barn"
Anchor: "Moron, If you treat them both the same way, why do you keep asking me which one, the black or white?"
Shepherd: "Because the white goat is mine."
Anchor: "And the black one?
Shepherd: "That is also mine"
Son:......Mom, I also want 3 wives.....one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......
Mom:....And which one will put you to sleep
Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you....Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son
Mom:...but who will sleep with your 3 wives
Son:....Let them sleep with daddy...
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son ! 😂😆
The innocence of a 5 year old
A 5 year old son after been read the story of a king.....
Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives; one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, I will still sleep with you.
Mom's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son, Mom said.
Mom: but who will sleep with your 3 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with Daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son, Daddy said.
Mom glaring at Daddy
A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Judy ..Judy.':
'Is that you, Steve?'
'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'
That's wonderful! What's it like?'
'Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.'
'Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!'
'Not exactly . I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona.'
So God came down to find out why.
"Adam, I have created a beautiful paradise for you, why are you unhappy?"
"Well God, Eden is great and all, but sometimes I get really lonely. I wish I had a companion of some kind to share this beautiful garden with."
"You're right Adam, you need someone to share the glory of my creation with. I am going to create a companion for you, and I shall call her Woman. She will prepare your meals for you, bathe you, and satisfy all your sexual desires. She will be the perfect companion."
Adam's eyes light up and he says, "That sounds amazing God, what's this gonna cost me?"
"An arm and a leg"
"What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history...
as they usually have their trunks on.
That covered her legs. She went to a dermatologist and he said
"What you have is very rare but easily cured. Take a bath in milk for 3 nights and it will go away."
The woman went home and called the local grocery store and said
"I would like to buy 40 gallons of milk to bathe in."
The man on the phone exclaimed "40 gallons pasturized!?"
She said "heavens no... Just past my waist."
Well, I had a nose bleed in the bath this morning.
5yo: mom, i also want 3 wives, one to feed me, one to bathe me, one to sing for me.
mom: and which one will put you to sleep?
5yo: none, i'd still sleep with you.
mom: you're the best son ever. but where will your wives sleep then?
5yo: they can sleep with dad.
dad: you really are the best son ever.
The cashier asks What's the occasion?
Oh, We are having our baby shower, says the wife.
That's pretty impressive, says the cashier. My wife and I still have to bathe ours.
They bring him food, bathe him, protect his castle, and all he has to do is shake a paw every once and a while..
...with bath bombs.
When they arrive at the gate, St-Peter tells them they must bathe in a bassin of holy water the part of their bodies with which they have touched a penis.
The first girl goes "I've only touched a penis with the tip of my fingers" and so she dips her fingers into the holy water"
The second girl goes "I've given a guy a handjob once" and so she dips her hands in the holy water.
The third one looks at the remaining girl and goes "You better rince your mouth before I dip my ass!"
Me : OH MY GOD!
Doctor : Just kidding. She's dead.
The waiter just usually starts freaking out by minute 6.
Ex-stink-t
TV anchor to a Shapherd: "What do you feed your goat?"
Shapherd: "Which one, the black one or the white one?"
Anchor: "hmm! The black one"
Shapherd: "Grass"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shapherd: "Also Grass"
Anchor: "How do you bathe them?"
Shapherd: "Which one, the black one or the white one?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shapherd: "With water"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shapherd: "Also with water"
Anchor: "Where do you house them?"
Shapherd: "Which one, the black one or the white one?"
Anchor: "The black one"
Shapherd: "In the large barn"
Anchor: "And the white one?"
Shapherd: "Also in the large barn"
Anchor: "Moron, If you treat them both the same way, why do you keep asking me which one, the black or white?"
Shapherd: "Because the white goat is mine."
Anchor: "And the black one?
Shapherd: "That is also mine"
and then continue to get mad at me when I forget to stop wearing the same clothes and bathe for 20 years
Because they are preparing a stink bomb
Hmm, yes if you shit enough...
We eat apples but duck if someone throws one at you.
We play with soccerballs but duck if one flys towards you.
Because they were afraid of spreading cooties
Cleopatra used to bathe there periodically.
Me interrupting: "then why don't you bathe in it?"
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