Bath Tub Jokes
31 bath tub jokes and hilarious bath tub puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bath tub that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bath Tub Short Jokes
Short bath tub jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bath tub humour may include short bathtub jokes also.
- Yo momma so fat, when she wants to take a bath... She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water.
- How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.
- What do you do when you see an epileptic throwing a fit in a bath tub? You throw in some laundry and detergent.
- The density of saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath. However, you wouldn't want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.
- Just dropped my iPhone in the bath tub Just dropped my iPhone in the bath tub. I think it's syncing.
- My wife was upset that I peed in the tub. In retrospect, I probably should've let her finish her bath first.
- How many German Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to dress up in a gorilla suit and one to fill a bath tub full of vanilla pudding.
- Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bath tub?
A: Throw in some laundry. - You know what is ironic about Whitney Houston dying in her bath tub? She was taking swimming lessons at that time
- What's the difference between a p**... in the bath tub and a nun? The nun has hope in her soul.
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Bath Tub One Liners
Which bath tub one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bath tub? I can suggest the ones about bath and hot tub.
- TIFU by bathing incorrectly Whoops, wrong tub.
- An original from my 7 year old What do you call a toot in the bath tub?
A bath bomb - Never leave duck eggs in your bath tub... They make the water fowl.
- How many dead babies does it take to fill up a bath tub ? 23.
- What do you say when Skrillex is taking a bath? Wub a dub dub in the bath tub
- What do you call a t**... in a bath tub? A bath bomb.
Howlingly Hilarious Bath Tub Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about bath tub you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bubble bath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bath tub pranks.
I was recently at a mental institution and asked the director how he knew when someone needed to be admitted...
He said: "We fill up a bath tub with water and offer the person a teaspoon, a tea cup, and a bucket to empty the tub."
I said: "Oh, a normal person would chose the bucket cause it's bigger!"
He replied: "No, a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the window or the door?"
A little boy and a little girl..
..got into bath tub for bathing. The little girl, curious about the extra body part of the boy asked him if she can touch it. The boy replied "You broke yours, now you want to play with mine? No way!"
A man is talking to a psychiatrist
Man: "So what are the conditions to get admitted to your psychiatric ward?"
Psychiatrist: "We fill up a bath tub with water and put a spoon, a cup and a bucket next to it. Then we tell the person to empty it."
Man: "Ah, and a normal person would take the bucket, right?"
Psychiatrist: "A normal person would pull out the stopper. Do you want your room with or without balcony?"
A college girl was found dead in her bathtub...
She decided to take a bath after a long day of testing. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate had a f**... of putting a 9-volt battery in the bath to give herself a small electric shock.
This time, however, she left it in the tub. The college girl decided she wanted to put some soothing bath salts in the tub. The salt made the bath water into a stronger conductor of electricity, so when she got in, she was electrocuted and died.
When the authorities found her body, they deduced that the cause of death was a salt and battery.
Three Elderly Sisters
There were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and they all lived together.
One night the 96 year old ran a bath. She put one foot in and paused. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yelled.
The 94 year old hollered back, "I don't know. I'll come and see." She started up the stairs and stopped. She shouted, "Was I going up or coming down?"
The 92 year old sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sister's shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," and knocked on wood for good measure.
Then she yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
A wife comes home with a new Coach bag...
Her husband asks, "Where did you get that?"
"I won it in a raffle." she replies.
The next day she comes home with a new diamond bracelet. He asks her again, "Where did you get the bracelet?"
"I won it in a raffle." she says again. Later that evening, she asks her husband to run a bath for her. He obliges and runs about a half inch to an inch of water in the tub. She comes in and asks him why he didn't fill the tub up.
He says, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
Philosophy
Dad: Hey son! What did you learn at school today?
Son: Philosophy.
Dad: What's that?
Son: Well there's 2 men standing at the bath tub. They both have to take a bath. One of them is clean and the one is dirty. Bath tub is full of water and cannot be refilled. Who will take the bath first?
Dad: The dirty one!
Son: But if the dirty one takes the bath, how will the clean one take the bath after him? He will get dirty..
Dad: Okay . Well. Then the clean one... He goes first!
Son:. .. but why would a clean person get a bath?
Dad: ..... That's some kind of b**...!
Son: That's philosophy.
Three old women live in a house together...
The first one —a 96 year old, has drawn herself a bath and is about to get in. She suddenly stops and calls to her sisters
"Was I getting into the tub or out of the tub?".
The second sister —a 94 year old, replies
"Hold on, I'll come help you".
She begins walking up the stairs but suddenly stops and asks her sister— a 92 year old,
"Was I going up the stairs or down the stairs?".
The old woman just sits at the kitchen table and muttersto herself
"My sisters are so forgetful. What would they do without me?"
as she knocks on the wooden table.
Her sister calls for help once more and she replies,
"Hold on, I need to answer the door first".
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace.
He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"
She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."
The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet.
Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?"
She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."
The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat.
He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?"
She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."
Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub.
She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub."
He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."