Bass Jokes
139 bass jokes and hilarious bass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the very best of bass jokes that will get you laughing! Whether you're into double bass, largemouth bass, or just sea bass, there's something for everyone. From treble to drum & bass and gobs of megahertz, these big bass jokes will make you giggle.
Quick Jump To
- Short Bass Jokes
- Bass One Liners
- Bass Fish Jokes
- Bass Fishing Jokes
- Bass Player Jokes
- Bass Drum Jokes
- Double Bass Jokes
- More Bass Jokes
Funniest Bass Short Jokes
Short bass jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bass humour may include short guitar jokes also.
- How do you tell the difference between a fisher and a musician? You ask them to say the word bass.
- What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? A bassist.
(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny) - Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? A: Homeless.
These just jokes people... - Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish.... And a Bass Pro Shop salesman will eat for a lifetime.
- I got arrested for fishing without a license at a dubstep festival. The arresting officer yelled "drop the bass!"
- why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway
- What did the accordion player say when he was asked to play a love song? "I’m all about that bass, no treble."
- Sony created two new stereos. One has good bass for black people to listen to rap music. The other has good treble for white people to listen to country.
Those are two stereo types. - I was listening to some music with my friend and he told me "you should turn the bass down on your speaker". It was sound advice.
- A poem A fisher was fishing a bass
The water came up to his knee.
Strange, it rhymed this morning when there was high tide.
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Bass One Liners
Which bass one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bass? I can suggest the ones about drum and jazz.
- How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza.
- I went fishing with Skrillex once It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass
- What do you call a bass player without a GF? Homeless.
- Why are bass guitarists always safe? Because they stay out of treble.
- Why do accordionists make terrible fishermen? They always drop the bass.
- What do you say to a bass player with a beautiful women on his arm? Nice tattoo!
- Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass.
- What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music? A Sub-Woofer.
- Why are DJ's so bad at fishing? Because they're always dropping the Bass.
- Why are djs so bad at fishing? They always drop the bass
- So the bass clef said to the treble clef Don't take that tone with me
- What do you do when a bass player shows up at your front door? Pay him for the pizza.
- Why isn't Skrillex invited fishing? Because he keeps dropping the bass.
- What do you call a bass player that broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless
- How long does it take to tune a double bass? Nobody knows.
Bass Fish Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass fish jokes and even better bass fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? Dam.
What did the dam say to the fish?
Dumb bass. - Why couldn't the DJ keep any of the fish he caught? He kept dropping the bass
- [oc] Why do you never invite a DJ to fishing They always drop the bass
- I went fishing and caught a bass, a catfish and a hammerfer. What's a hammerfer? Fer driving nails.
My 8year old friend thinks this is the greatest joke, I thought so too when I was his age. - Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest? Experts say it's because he was a master baiter.
- Why can't you take Skrillex fishing? He's always dropping the bass.
- Why Aren't DJs allowed in the Fish Market? They always drop the bass.
- I went fishing recently and caught a 20lb sea bass. I tried to mount it But I was arrested for indecent exposure.
- Why was the EDM producer bad at fishing? Because he kept dropping the bass
- Why are dubstep musicians terrible at fishing? They always drop the bass
Bass Fishing Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass fishing jokes and even better bass fishing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why should you never go fishing with skrillex? He cant stop dropping the bass
- Why wasn't Skrillex allowed on the fishing trip? He keeps dropping the bass
- What do you call a retarted fish A dum bass
- What instrument do fish play? Sea bass
- I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.
- Went bass fishing the other day Caught a subwoofer this big!
- I asked a bass what he thought fishing... He said, "I didn't like at first, but now I'm Hooked!"
- Why is fishing with Skrillex so difficult? He keeps dropping the bass.
- What did the fish say when he hit a wall? >!"Dam!"!<
What did the dam say when the fish hit it?
>!"You dumb bass!"!<
Every kid I tell this to rolls! - What musical instrument do you get if you fill a 55-gallon drum with fish? A bass drum.
Bass Player Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass player jokes and even better bass player puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One.
- What do you call a bass player who can get by without a girlfriend? A Master-Bassist
- How does a bass player pick up girls? He says "Hi I'm a guitarist"
- Women don't like bass players, apparently... Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why.
- How do you get a bass player off your porch? Pay for the pizza
- What do you call the crazy people who always hang out with musicians? Bass players
- Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus.
- How do you get the bass player to leave the party? Pay him for the pizza.
- How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they're never in the light anyways.
- Imma slap the F out of you... Said the bass player to his bass guitar
Bass Drum Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass drum jokes and even better bass drum puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Really disappointed with the new Beatles album It's all drum & bass
- What allowed the B boys to make it in hip hop and drum n bass? The A men break
- Drum and bass Drum and bass takes two of my favourite things and adds a "d" and a "b" in front of them.
- What's Hitlers favourite Drum & Bass tune? The Nein.
- The Beatles just released a new album. Apparently it's just drums and bass.
- There's only one time I would fit in at a Drum and Bass rave. And that's when I see a spider.
- Two Bass Drums and A Cymbal Fall Off the Roof. Buh-dum tssh
Double Bass Jokes
Here is a list of funny double bass jokes and even better double bass puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You stole my viola, cello, and double bass. You made me so angry, I'm violint now.
- What instrument to introverts like the most? Double basses, because they're very low-key.
- There once was a double bass player who always had problems with timing. Over time it got him so desperate and frustrated that he... ...threw himself behind a train
- What do middle class people do in a rave Drop the double bass
- How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up an turn it into a xylophone
Happy Bass Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about bass you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bass pranks.
My rock band got a gig at the baseball game.
I played first bass.
What does a bassist use for contraception?
Their personality.
A bass player runs into a bar...
where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up. Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!" "Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later." "No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!"
Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit?
The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they b**....
How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand.
Have you guys heard of the new ska/dubstep band?
first they drop the bass.
then they pickitup-pickitup-pickitup!
What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?
The snow, d**....
A man decides he wants to learn to play bass.
He signs up for lessons and the first day the instructor says to him "today we're learning E." and he just plays E over and over again. The next lesson the instructor says he'll be teaching him A and he plays A over and over again. The third lesson is D and he plays D over and over again. At the end of the lesson the instructor says "next lesson we'll learn G" but the guy replies "I can't make the next lesson, I have a gig."
So a bass walks into a bar ..
Let's get out of here. This place is nothing but treble.
Why did the black guy pick the music system with the loudest bass?
It was his favorite sterotype.
What do you call a s**... fish?
A dumb bass
I'll sea myself trout
What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much?
Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect
What did the bassist say when he played too high?
I'm in treble now
If I were to drop l**... at a dubstep concert....
Would the acid neutralize the bass?
A Bass Teacher is excited about getting a new, young student.
The kid is comes in for his first lesson and learns all the notes on the E string.
Next week he comes in and the instructor shows him all of the notes on the A string.
The third week comes, the teacher is waiting, but the kid never shows up. Annoyed, he calls him to see where he is.
The kid picks up and says,
"Oh, sorry man, I got a gig..."
Why was the bass player arrested?
He was caught f**... A minor.
So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday
So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.
A man asked Satan...
"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"
Satan answered, "Give me your soul."
The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"
Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."
A bass player joke.
A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"
"I blew it off I had a gig."
Three bass players walk into a bar.
They're actually in the middle of performing Beethoven's 9th symphony, but there's a long section near the end where the basses don't play, so they decide to go to the bar next door and grab a drink.
To know when to come back for the end of the symphony, the bassists tie a string to the conductor's score a few pages before they start playing again. When he turns the page, it'll tug on the string and they'll know to head back to the concert hall.
So the symphony goes on, and pretty soon the conductor realizes he's in trouble.
It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.
I once tried to sleep with an entire orchestra
but I only made it to the second bass
My friend said he's learning bass guitar...
...Something about this sounds fishy.
I played bass on the original s**... Doo theme song in 1969, then joined Metallica. AMA!
Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the s**... Doo theme song, or in any band, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!
How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb
None, because the keyboard player can do it with his left hand
A bass player dies and goes to h**...
when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings
[Better when spoken aloud:] A young man is nervous about his wedding night.
On the day of the wedding, he asks his dad what he should do. "It's easy, son. Just kiss her on the navel and tell her you love her."
So, that night, the newlyweds remove their clothes and get on the bed. The young man leans down, gently kisses his bride on the navel and says "I love you!"
"Lower!" she says.
\[In a bass voice:\] "I love you, I love you!"
I played bass on the original s**... Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!
Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the s**... Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!
I like to play the bass.
My wife likes to play the fisherman. We have some strange roleplay.
Why are bassists considered cowardly?
Because they disappear at the first sign of treble.
I take l**... every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.
I think it's because the bass neutralizes the acid
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single.
The only married person was Otis, & he was the town drunk.
For son's birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar...
...and pays for 5 lessons.
After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks "What did you learn today?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the E string." the son says proudly.
After the second lesson, the dad asks "What did you learn this time?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the A string." the boy says.
After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes.
"Where the h**... have you been?" Dad demands.
"Sorry dad, I had a gig!"
I wanted to open a new s**... Club that serves seafood.
Calling it Bass To Mouth
(Hear me out) What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam
**What did the wall say when the fish hit it?**
Dum bass
**What do you find at the bottom of the lake?**
Bass Turds
How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door? (What are your favorite musician jokes?)
The knocking gets faster as it goes on.
You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?
Pay him for the pizza!
Two drummers walk past a bar...
How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
What's the difference between Netflix and a Bass guitar?
Netflix has stranger things 4 and a Bass guitar has 4 Strange Strings.
A fifteen year old kid gets an upright bass and starts to take lessons.
After his first lesson, his dad asks him, "what did you learn today?" "I learned to play the A note." After his second lesson his dad asks again, and he responds "I learned to play the D note." After his third lesson his dad asks again and he responds, "I learned to play the E note." After the fourth lesson his dad asks, and the kid responds, "I don't need lessons anymore. I've got a gig with a bluegrass band."
How many bass guitarists do you need to change a lightbulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him how to do it first.
