Bass Player Jokes
65 bass player jokes and hilarious bass player puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bass player that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bass Player Short Jokes
Short bass player jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bass player humour may include short bass guitarist jokes also.
- Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? A: Homeless.
These just jokes people... - why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway
- What did the accordion player say when he was asked to play a love song? "I’m all about that bass, no treble."
- Women don't like bass players, apparently... Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why.
- Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus.
- How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they're never in the light anyways.
- How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Dude, nobody screws the bass player.
- Q: How do you know if a bass player is successful? A: His girlfriend has a job.
- Why did the bass player miss his second lesson? He had a gig that night.
- What do you call the people that always are around musicians? bass players.
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Bass Player One Liners
Which bass player one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bass player? I can suggest the ones about bassist and bass guitar.
- How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza.
- What do you call a bass player without a GF? Homeless.
- What do you say to a bass player with a beautiful women on his arm? Nice tattoo!
- What do you do when a bass player shows up at your front door? Pay him for the pizza.
- What do you call a bass player that broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless
- How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One.
- What do you call a bass player who can get by without a girlfriend? A Master-Bassist
- How does a bass player pick up girls? He says "Hi I'm a guitarist"
- How do you get a bass player off your porch? Pay for the pizza
- What do you call the crazy people who always hang out with musicians? Bass players
- How do you get the bass player to leave the party? Pay him for the pizza.
- Imma slap the F out of you... Said the bass player to his bass guitar
- What is the bass players preferred method of contraception? His personality.
- What's the three toughest years of a bass player? Second grade.
- Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show? He locked the bass player in the car.
Cheerful Fun Bass Player Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about bass player you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bass player pranks.
A bass player runs into a bar...
where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up. Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!" "Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later." "No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!"
How does a bass player turn off the lights before bed?
He closes the car door.
How many guitarists are needed to change a light bulb?
Five: one to change the bulb and the other four to tell him how Eric Clapton would do it.
Bonus: How many bass players are needed to change a light bulb?
Nobody cares
Did you ever hear about the Bass player whose timing was so bad he threw himself behind a train?
What do women and bass guitars have in common?
You have to slap them for people to think you're a good player
What's the worst news that you can give to a groupie?
"You get the bass player."
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have to get the guitarist to do it for them.
What do you throw a drowning bass player?
His amp
"The Police" frontman and bass player currently recovering from surgery
It was a Sting operation.
A drummer locked his keys inside his car
He had to call in AAA to get the bass player out.
A poor man fall asleep one night and the devil appears in his dream
The devil says to him "I shall grant you any worldly wish you desire but at a price"
The poor man asks "I've only got my six string and very little money, however I can earn money if I play guitar well. So I wish to be the greatest guitar player the world has ever seen."
The devil replies "the price for that is merely your human soul."
The man thinks for a moment and responds "that's a lot to lose. I don't think I'm willing to pay that. What can I get for a dollar?"
The devil responds "the greatest bass player"
Why was the bass player the most popular person in the band?
He was a need to know bassist.
Why was the bass player arrested?
He was caught f**... A minor.
If a guitar player is a guitarist and a bass player is a bassist, what is a lyre player?
A hipster.
A British bass player walks into a bar.
Bartender says "You've got a steering wheel in your pants."
Bass player says "I know. It's driving me nuts."
A man asked Satan...
"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"
Satan answered, "Give me your soul."
The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"
Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."
A bass player joke.
A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"
"I blew it off I had a gig."
Three bass players walk into a bar.
They're actually in the middle of performing Beethoven's 9th symphony, but there's a long section near the end where the basses don't play, so they decide to go to the bar next door and grab a drink.
To know when to come back for the end of the symphony, the bassists tie a string to the conductor's score a few pages before they start playing again. When he turns the page, it'll tug on the string and they'll know to head back to the concert hall.
So the symphony goes on, and pretty soon the conductor realizes he's in trouble.
It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.
Why do bass players enjoy seeing people wear skinny jeans?
Cause they're fans of a tight bottom end
How did the amateur bass player introduce himself?
Hey guys, so I play the guitar, lowkey
A double bass player
A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.
He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.
After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"
"We did last year!" one answers.
Why doesn't s**... Doo like bass players?
They're racists
There once was a double bass player who always had problems with timing. Over time it got him so desperate and frustrated that he...
...threw himself behind a train
A bass player dies and goes to h**...
when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings
How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door? (What are your favorite musician jokes?)
The knocking gets faster as it goes on.
You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?
Pay him for the pizza!
Two drummers walk past a bar...
How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
