The Best 74 Bass Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bass jokes. There are some bass venues jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bass drumset puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bass Jokes and Puns

My rock band got a gig at the baseball game.

I played first bass.

What does a bassist use for contraception?

Their personality.

Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest?

Experts say it's because he was a master baiter.

Bass joke, Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest?

A bass player runs into a bar...

where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up. Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!" "Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later." "No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!"

Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album?

Because they threw the bass player under the bus.


How long does it take to tune a double bass?

Nobody knows.

How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

You pay for your pizza.

Bass joke, How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit?

The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they booty.

How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand.

How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. Five. One.

Have you guys heard of the new ska/dubstep band?

first they drop the bass.

then they pickitup-pickitup-pickitup!

You can explore bass megahertz reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bass drummer dad jokes. There are also bass puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call the crazy people who always hang out with musicians?

Bass players

What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?

The snow, dumbass.

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall?

Dam.

What did the dam say to the fish?
Dumb bass.

A man decides he wants to learn to play bass.

He signs up for lessons and the first day the instructor says to him "today we're learning E." and he just plays E over and over again. The next lesson the instructor says he'll be teaching him A and he plays A over and over again. The third lesson is D and he plays D over and over again. At the end of the lesson the instructor says "next lesson we'll learn G" but the guy replies "I can't make the next lesson, I have a gig."

So a bass walks into a bar ..

Let's get out of here. This place is nothing but treble.

Bass joke, So a bass walks into a bar ..

Why are DJ's so bad at fishing?

Because they're always dropping the Bass.

Why did the black guy pick the music system with the loudest bass?

It was his favorite sterotype.

What do you do when a bass player shows up at your front door?

Pay him for the pizza.


What do you call a bass player without a GF?

Homeless.

So the bass clef said to the treble clef

Don't take that tone with me

why is the bass player stuck outside?

he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish....

And a Bass Pro Shop salesman will eat for a lifetime.

What do you call a stupid fish?

A dumb bass

I'll sea myself trout

Why was the EDM producer bad at fishing?

Because he kept dropping the bass

Went bass fishing the other day

Caught a subwoofer this big!

What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much?

Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect

Women don't like bass players, apparently...

Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why.

What do you call a retarted fish

A dum bass

Why wasn't Skrillex allowed on the fishing trip?

He keeps dropping the bass

What did the bassist say when he played too high?

I'm in treble now

Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex?

Because he always drops the bass.

What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music?

A Sub-Woofer.

How does a bass player pick up girls?

He says "Hi I'm a guitarist"

Why can't you take Skrillex fishing?

He's always dropping the bass.

I went fishing with Skrillex once

It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass

What happens when a DJ is playing a song with a small bass drop?

The crowd goes mild.

I used to go fishing with Skrillex

but he kept dropping the bass.

What do you call a bass player who can get by without a girlfriend?

A Master-Bassist

If I were to drop LSD at a dubstep concert....

Would the acid neutralize the bass?

I went fishing and caught a bass, a catfish and a hammerfer.

What's a hammerfer? Fer driving nails.

My 8year old friend thinks this is the greatest joke, I thought so too when I was his age.

A Bass Teacher is excited about getting a new, young student.

The kid is comes in for his first lesson and learns all the notes on the E string.

Next week he comes in and the instructor shows him all of the notes on the A string.

The third week comes, the teacher is waiting, but the kid never shows up. Annoyed, he calls him to see where he is.

The kid picks up and says,

"Oh, sorry man, I got a gig..."

I was listening to some music with my friend and he told me "you should turn the bass down on your speaker".

It was sound advice.

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

A bassist.

(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny)

I went fishing recently and caught a 20lb sea bass. I tried to mount it

But I was arrested for indecent exposure.

Why was the bass player arrested?

He was caught fingering A minor.

So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday

So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber pistol for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, Strip down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.

A man asked Satan...

"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"

Satan answered, "Give me your soul."

The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"

Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."

A bass player joke.

A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"

"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"

"That's great son!"

The next week rolls around.

"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"

"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"

"That's great son!"

The next week rolls around.

"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"

"I blew it off I had a gig."

Three bass players walk into a bar.

They're actually in the middle of performing Beethoven's 9th symphony, but there's a long section near the end where the basses don't play, so they decide to go to the bar next door and grab a drink.

To know when to come back for the end of the symphony, the bassists tie a string to the conductor's score a few pages before they start playing again. When he turns the page, it'll tug on the string and they'll know to head back to the concert hall.

So the symphony goes on, and pretty soon the conductor realizes he's in trouble.

It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.

What do Aussie bass strings say?

G'DAE!

Why couldn't the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass

Why Aren't DJs allowed in the Fish Market?

They always drop the bass.

I once tried to sleep with an entire orchestra

but I only made it to the second bass

My friend said he's learning bass guitar...

...Something about this sounds fishy.

I played bass on the original Scooby Doo theme song in 1969, then joined Metallica. AMA!

Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the Scooby Doo theme song, or in any band, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!

Sony created two new stereos.

One has good bass for black people to listen to rap music. The other has good treble for white people to listen to country.

Those are two stereo types.

How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb

None, because the keyboard player can do it with his left hand

How do you get a bass player off your porch?

Pay for the pizza

A bass player dies and goes to hell

when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.

Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums

the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is hell right? that sounds awesome!

well satan's got a girlfriend who sings

[Better when spoken aloud:] A young man is nervous about his wedding night.

On the day of the wedding, he asks his dad what he should do. "It's easy, son. Just kiss her on the navel and tell her you love her."

So, that night, the newlyweds remove their clothes and get on the bed. The young man leans down, gently kisses his bride on the navel and says "I love you!"

"Lower!" she says.

\[In a bass voice:\] "I love you, I love you!"

I played bass on the original Scooby Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!

Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the Scooby Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!

I like to play the bass.

My wife likes to play the fisherman. We have some strange roleplay.

Why are bassists considered cowardly?

Because they disappear at the first sign of treble.

What do you call a bass player that broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

How do you get the bass player to leave the party?

Pay him for the pizza.

I take LSD every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.

I think it's because the bass neutralizes the acid

I saw a former vice present playing bass recommend to me on Youtube.

I think something was wrong with its Al Gore rhythm.

Why are DJs so bad at fishing?

They always drop the bass

Imma slap the F out of you...

Said the bass player to his bass guitar

I got arrested for fishing without a license at a dubstep festival.

The arresting officer yelled "drop the bass!"

Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

These just jokes people...

Why isn't Skrillex invited fishing?

Because he keeps dropping the bass.

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single.

The only married person was Otis, & he was the town drunk.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bass skrillex jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bass clef piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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