Bass Jokes
136 bass jokes and hilarious bass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the very best of bass jokes that will get you laughing! Whether you're into double bass, largemouth bass, or just sea bass, there's something for everyone. From treble to drum & bass and gobs of megahertz, these big bass jokes will make you giggle.
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Funniest Bass Short Jokes
Short bass jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bass humour may include short guitar jokes also.
- How do you tell the difference between a fisher and a musician? You ask them to say the word bass.
- What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? A bassist.
(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny) - Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? A: Homeless.
These just jokes people... - I got arrested for fishing without a license at a dubstep festival. The arresting officer yelled "drop the bass!"
- why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway
- What did the accordion player say when he was asked to play a love song? "I’m all about that bass, no treble."
- I was listening to some music with my friend and he told me "you should turn the bass down on your speaker". It was sound advice.
- A poem A fisher was fishing a bass
The water came up to his knee.
Strange, it rhymed this morning when there was high tide. - I like to play the bass. My wife likes to play the fisherman. We have some strange roleplay.
- I went fishing and caught a bass, a catfish and a hammerfer. What's a hammerfer? Fer driving nails.
My 8year old friend thinks this is the greatest joke, I thought so too when I was his age.
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Bass One Liners
Which bass one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bass? I can suggest the ones about drum and jazz.
- How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza.
- I went fishing with Skrillex once It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass
- Why are bass guitarists always safe? Because they stay out of treble.
- Why do accordionists make terrible fishermen? They always drop the bass.
- What do you say to a bass player with a beautiful women on his arm? Nice tattoo!
- Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass.
- What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music? A Sub-Woofer.
- Why are DJ's so bad at fishing? Because they're always dropping the Bass.
- So the bass clef said to the treble clef Don't take that tone with me
- How long does it take to tune a double bass? Nobody knows.
- My friend said he's learning bass guitar... ...Something about this sounds fishy.
- Why do you never invite a DJ to fishing They always drop the bass
- My rock band got a gig at the baseball game. I played first bass.
- What do you call a bass player who can get by without a girlfriend? A Master-Bassist
- So a bass walks into a bar .. Let's get out of here. This place is nothing but treble.
Bass Fishing Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass fishing jokes and even better bass fishing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest? Experts say it's because he was a master baiter.
- I went fishing recently and caught a 20lb sea bass. I tried to mount it But I was arrested for indecent exposure.
- What instrument do fish play? Sea bass
- Went bass fishing the other day Caught a subwoofer this big!
- I asked a bass what he thought fishing... He said, "I didn't like at first, but now I'm Hooked!"
- What did the fish say when he hit a wall? >!"Dam!"!<
What did the dam say when the fish hit it?
>!"You dumb bass!"!<
Every kid I tell this to rolls! - What musical instrument do you get if you fill a 55-gallon drum with fish? A bass drum.
- What do you call the stupidest fish in the sea? A dumb bass.
- What fish always wins a fight. A barracuda. That fish kicks bass
- What's the difference between... What's the difference between dubstep and a fish on the floor?
Nothing as long as you drop the bass.
Bass Player Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass player jokes and even better bass player puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How does a bass player pick up girls? He says "Hi I'm a guitarist"
- Women don't like bass players, apparently... Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why.
- What do you call the crazy people who always hang out with musicians? Bass players
- Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus.
- How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they're never in the light anyways.
- What's the three toughest years of a bass player? Second grade.
- Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show? He locked the bass player in the car.
- Q: How do you know if a bass player is successful? A: His girlfriend has a job.
- Why did the bass player miss his second lesson? He had a gig that night.
- Did you ever hear about the Bass player whose timing was so bad he threw himself behind a train?
Bass Drum Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass drum jokes and even better bass drum puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Really disappointed with the new Beatles album It's all drum & bass
- What allowed the B boys to make it in hip hop and drum n bass? The A men break
- Drum and bass Drum and bass takes two of my favourite things and adds a "d" and a "b" in front of them.
- What's Hitlers favourite Drum & Bass tune? The Nein.
- The Beatles just released a new album. Apparently it's just drums and bass.
- There's only one time I would fit in at a Drum and Bass rave. And that's when I see a spider.
Bass Guitar Jokes
Here is a list of funny bass guitar jokes and even better bass guitar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between Netflix and a Bass guitar? Netflix has stranger things 4 and a Bass guitar has 4 Strange Strings.
- What is a fisherman's favorite musical instrument? The bass guitar.
- I'm bisexual and I play bass and electric guitar I suppose I string both ways
- What do women and bass guitars have in common? You have to slap them for people to think you're a good player
- How did the amateur bass player introduce himself? Hey guys, so I play the guitar, lowkey
- If a guitar player is a guitarist and a bass player is a bassist, what is a lyre player? A hipster.
- How does a guitarist protect his guitar from being stolen? He stores in a bass case.
- What's the best place to buy a bass guitar? A Flea market.
- What do you call a music store that sells bass guitars for insects? A Flea Market.
- What do a bass guitar solo and peeing your pants have in common? It's quiet and embarrassing.
Double Bass Jokes
Here is a list of funny double bass jokes and even better double bass puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You stole my viola, cello, and double bass. You made me so angry, I'm violint now.
- What instrument to introverts like the most? Double basses, because they're very low-key.
- What do middle class people do in a rave Drop the double bass
- How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up an turn it into a xylophone
Happy Bass Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about bass you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bass pranks.
What does a bassist use for contraception?
Their personality.
A bass player runs into a bar...
where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up. Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!" "Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later." "No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit?
The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they b**....
How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand.
Have you guys heard of the new ska/dubstep band?
first they drop the bass.
then they pickitup-pickitup-pickitup!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?
The snow, d**....
A man decides he wants to learn to play bass.
He signs up for lessons and the first day the instructor says to him "today we're learning E." and he just plays E over and over again. The next lesson the instructor says he'll be teaching him A and he plays A over and over again. The third lesson is D and he plays D over and over again. At the end of the lesson the instructor says "next lesson we'll learn G" but the guy replies "I can't make the next lesson, I have a gig."
Why are bass guitarists always standing at the front door?
Because they don't know when to come in.
Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.
Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.
1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?
If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!
Why did the black guy pick the music system with the loudest bass?
It was his favorite sterotype.
What did they serve for lunch at Jurassic Park?
Chilean Sea Bass. Spared no expense.
Didn't you watch the movie?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a s**... fish?
A dumb bass
I'll sea myself trout
What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much?
Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect
What did the bassist say when he played too high?
I'm in treble now
What happens when a DJ is playing a song with a small bass drop?
The crowd goes mild.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I were to drop l**... at a dubstep concert....
Would the acid neutralize the bass?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are women and bass guitars similar.
It's a good idea to trim your nails before f**... them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday
So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.
A man asked Satan...
"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"
Satan answered, "Give me your soul."
The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"
Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."
A bass player joke.
A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"
"I blew it off I had a gig."
Three bass players walk into a bar.
They're actually in the middle of performing Beethoven's 9th symphony, but there's a long section near the end where the basses don't play, so they decide to go to the bar next door and grab a drink.
To know when to come back for the end of the symphony, the bassists tie a string to the conductor's score a few pages before they start playing again. When he turns the page, it'll tug on the string and they'll know to head back to the concert hall.
So the symphony goes on, and pretty soon the conductor realizes he's in trouble.
It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.
I had a dream last night...
In my dream I was watching a band play. Buddha was playing guitar, Jesus was playing bass, Mohammed was singing, and Zeus was playing the drums. After the show, Zeus came down and gave me a large metal disc. I think it was a cymbal from god.
What do Aussie bass strings say?
G'DAE!
A double bass player
A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.
He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.
After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"
"We did last year!" one answers.
What instrument does Darth Vader play?
The rebel bass.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once tried to sleep with an entire orchestra
but I only made it to the second bass
A spill
While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dropping the base
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bass player dies and goes to h**...
when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings
[Better when spoken aloud:] A young man is nervous about his wedding night.
On the day of the wedding, he asks his dad what he should do. "It's easy, son. Just kiss her on the navel and tell her you love her."
So, that night, the newlyweds remove their clothes and get on the bed. The young man leans down, gently kisses his bride on the navel and says "I love you!"
"Lower!" she says.
\[In a bass voice:\] "I love you, I love you!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I played bass on the original s**... Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!
Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the s**... Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!
Why are bassists considered cowardly?
Because they disappear at the first sign of treble.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I take l**... every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.
I think it's because the bass neutralizes the acid
I saw a former vice present playing bass recommend to me on Youtube.
I think something was wrong with its Al Gore rhythm.
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single.
The only married person was Otis, & he was the town drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For son's birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar...
...and pays for 5 lessons.
After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks "What did you learn today?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the E string." the son says proudly.
After the second lesson, the dad asks "What did you learn this time?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the A string." the boy says.
After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes.
"Where the h**... have you been?" Dad demands.
"Sorry dad, I had a gig!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to open a new s**... Club that serves seafood.
Calling it Bass To Mouth
A few years back, I was asked at the last minute to stand in on bass for Geddy Lee, just for one night.
It was a Rush job...
Our bassist never shows up for practice
Mostly 'cause he can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(Hear me out) What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam
**What did the wall say when the fish hit it?**
Dum bass
**What do you find at the bottom of the lake?**
Bass Turds
How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door? (What are your favorite musician jokes?)
The knocking gets faster as it goes on.
You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?
Pay him for the pizza!
Two drummers walk past a bar...
How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
A fifteen year old kid gets an upright bass and starts to take lessons.
After his first lesson, his dad asks him, "what did you learn today?" "I learned to play the A note." After his second lesson his dad asks again, and he responds "I learned to play the D note." After his third lesson his dad asks again and he responds, "I learned to play the E note." After the fourth lesson his dad asks, and the kid responds, "I don't need lessons anymore. I've got a gig with a bluegrass band."
