Bass Fish Jokes

Fishing in a frozen lake
It was a cold winter day.
An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite.
He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him.
The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass.
The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck.
Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch.
The young boy kept catching fish after fish.
Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer.
"Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble.
You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish!
How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying."
The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"

A guy goes fishing one morning but after a short time runs out of worms.

Just then he sees a cotton-mouth snake in the water with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite with the frog in his mouth, the guy grabs him right behind the head, takes the frog, and puts the snake in his bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, the guy snatches his bottle of Jack Daniels and pours a little whiskey in the snake's mouth. His eyes roll back and he goes limp. The guy releases him into the lake without incident and carries on fishing using the frog.
A little later, he feels nudge on his foot. It was that snake, with two more frogs.

The Fishing Trip

On Friday afternoon, a man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go on a fishing trip with my boss. We'll be gone a week. This is a great chance for me to work on that promotion! Would you please pack some clothes for me and set out my rod and tackle box. I'll swing by the house to pick them up in an hour. Oh! And please pack my new blue pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend the husband comes home very tired, tan and happy. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he has had a good time.
I did! he says as he carries his things into the bedroom. You wouldn't believe all the fish we caught! Some bass, some catfish, and a few trout.
As he tosses his suitcase onto the bed, his wife leans against the doorjamb.
"Really." She says.
Yup, he says. Then he glances up at her, By the way, why didn't you pack my new blue pajamas like I asked?"
The wife crosses her arms and replies, "I did. They're in your tackle box."

A father takes his son on a fishing trip

On their tiny boat, Little Tommy realises that that the floor is covered in a mess of different nets. He looks up to dad and asks, "Dad, why do we need so many kinds of nets?"
Dad smiles gently and looks into his young son's eyes.
"Back in my day, when I went fishing with my own dad we only needed one net! Nowadays, we need one specifically for trout, herring, bass and all the different kinds of fish!"
Little Tommy listens yet is still confused and tugs on his father's cargo pants
"But what changed Daddy?"
Dad pats the top of Little Tommy's head and sighs
"Nets became prejudiced to the type of fish they caught."
"There's no Net Neutrality now."