Basketball Team Jokes
80 basketball team jokes and hilarious basketball team puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about basketball team that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Basketball Team Short Jokes
Short basketball team jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The basketball team humour may include short sports team jokes also.
- The Columbine basketball team hasn't been the same... Since they lost their two best shooters
- In the annual gay vs straight basketball game, the gay team has prevailed, in what was a come from behind victory.
- What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team? The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers.
- Having a bad day? Just remember that in the movie Air Bud , some kid got kicked off his school basketball team... and replaced by a dog.
- What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team? You're going to have to ci-tris one out.
- The Hogwarts basketball team is the worst in all the Wizarding World. They can only score 9 in 3 quarters.
- I want to own a basketball franchise in Miami and I want to name the team humidy... Then when someone asks if its the heat I can go "its not the heat, its the humidity."
- Did you hear about the basketball team catching an illness from the opposing team? Cross Court-amination
- How did the Black Death reach Europe? The U.S. Olympic Basketball team went to the 2012 London Olympics.
- No matter how old you are or what team you're rooting for, I think we can all agree that every basketball fan looks up to Shaquille O'Neal. Like literally, you have to look up to him.
Share These Basketball Team Jokes With Friends
Basketball Team One Liners
Which basketball team one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with basketball team? I can suggest the ones about football team and hockey team.
- Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball.
- Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball
- Why did the Anti Vaxxer get cut from the basketball team? He refused to take the shot
- How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball? It's skirts versus shins.
- Why didn't Jesus make the basketball team? Because he only throws Hail Mary's.
- What do you call an angry basketball team? The Saltics
- What do you call a basketball team full of giraffes? The New York Necks
- How did Link win the basketball game for his team? He used the Hookshot!
- Yao Ming is starting his own basketball team It's called Crazy Reach Asians
- What Basketball Team Is Hated By Flat Earthers? The Globetrotters.
- What happens when a team nets five basketballs in Paris? They cinq it!
- What do you call a group of white people sitting on the bench? A basketball team.
- What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team? Alley-oop Akbar
- Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven? Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
- Why was the Mexican made captain of the basketball team? He had the most señority.
Amusing Basketball Team Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about basketball team you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean basketball player jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make basketball team pranks.
Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
A Baptist, a Catholic, and a m**... are in the maternity ward. The Baptist says, “One more son and I have a basketball team.” The Catholic says, “That’s nothing, one more kid and I have a baseball team.” The m**... guy says, “That’s nothing, one more wife and I have a golf course.”
Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
A Catholic, a Baptist and a m**... are bragging about the size of their families.
"I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team,"
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the m**.... "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
A Baptist a Catholic and a m**... were talking about their families. . .
The Baptist says I have 4 kids, just one more and I'll have a basketball team. The Catholic says That's nice but I have 10 kids, one more and I'll have a football team. The m**... says Well, I have 17 wives, one more, and I'll have a golf course.
A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... all walk into a bar...
The Jewish man boasts, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team." The Catholic man says, "That's nothing! I have ten sons. One more and I'll have a soccer team!" The m**... stands up and proclaims, "Big deal! I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"
A Catholic priest, a Baptist priest, and a m**... priest are sitting in a bar
So a m**... priest, a baptist priest, and a catholic priest are sitting in a bar. The catholic priest says "I have six kids now, I have a basketball team". The baptist priest says "I have eleven kids now, I have a football team". The m**... priest says "I have 18 wives now, I have a golf course"
what did the proud cheerleader say after she s**... the whole. basketball team?
I never knew I had it in me.
My favorite racist joke is more funny than it is offensive -
On the elementary school playground, there was a group of boys that liked to play basketball. Tyrone, a fourth grader, was the only black boy in the school, and far outperformed his peers in most athletic contests. He could run faster and jump higher than any other student at the school. He could easily outrun and out jump even the fastest and tallest fifth and sixth grade boys. When they played basketball, Tyrone's team could only play three players at a time to be fair, and he was still always picked first.
"You're the best at basketball because you're black, Tyrone," the other boys would say. Tyrone would wonder about this. His mama always told him not to think he was any different than any of those white boys. Being black didn't mean he was any better or any worse than anyone else. But he was obviously better at basketball than any of the white kids at his elementary school, so what else could it be?
Tyrone got home from school one day and asked his mama, "Mama, I can jump higher and run faster than any of the other kids at the school. Even the fifth and sixth graders. Is it a 'cause I'm black?"
"Naw," Mama said, "you's the fastest runner and highest jumper 'coz you's the only one who's twenty two."
Three guys are talking about their families (likely a re-post)
Three men - Bob, Joe, and David - are bragging about their families. Bob and Joe are Catholic, and David is m**....
Joe says "I've got four athletic daughters. One more and I'll have a championship basketball team."
Bob responds "I've got eight athletic sons. One more and I'll have an all-Anerican baseball team."
David answers "I've got five beautiful wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
Baseball & Football -George Carlin
Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.
Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?
In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.
In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.
Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.
And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
Why did the angry beer join the basketball team?
Because he had mad hops!
Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...
...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.
One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
Three sheiks brag about the size of their family
I have 5 sons. If I wanted to I could form my own basketball team.
Oh yeah? Well I have 11 sons. If I wanted to I could form my own football team.
The third one is in a pinch, since he was blessed only with daughters. But then he thinks of something to brag about.
Oh yeah? Well I have 18 wives.
The other two look at him wondering what sport needs 18 members in its team or how women can be involved. Then the answer comes.
If I wanted to I could form my own golf course.
what did the biologists call their basketball team?
The Hemoglobin-Trotters!
What is a group of endermen called?
A basketball team
What do I use to carry my basketball team to victory?
I use buckets.
What basketball team does a vampire play for?
The New York Necks
A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... are drinking together.
The Jew boasts about his fertility
"I have 4 sons; one more and I'll have a basketball team!"
"That's nothing," says the Catholic, "I have 10 sons! I almost have a football team!"
The Jew and Catholic looked expectantly at the m**.... "Well?"
"I have 17 wives. I almost have a golf course!"
A Jewish guy, a Catholic guy and a m**... are having dinner together...
...and they are bragging about their families.
"My wife and I have 4 strapping young boys" says the Jewish man. "If we have one more, we would have our own basketball team."
"Well, good for you" says the Catholic. "But we have 10 healthy sons. If we would have one more we would have our own football team."
"That's nothing" says the m**.... "I have 17 wives. If I have one more I would have my own golf course."
A Jew, a Catholic and a m**... were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...
The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."
To which the m**... replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
English, American and Arab guy bragging in a bar about their large family.
The American says: "I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!"
The English says: "I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football ("soccer") team!"
The Arab guy says: "I have 17 wifes. One more, and I can make a golf course!"
The Columbine Basketball team has gone downhill lately
They lost their two best shooters.
What do you call a kid on the school basketball team?
A school shooter
A Jewish guy, a catholic guy, and an all believer are all sitting at a bar
So on they talk until the Jewish guys starts talking about his sons and he says "well I got four sons and if I had one more I'd have a basketball team"
So on the catholic goes and says "that's nice but I have ten sons, one more and I'd have a baseball team"
So now they both look at this last guy who's just clapping and begins to talk "pretty good but I got 17 wives and one more and I would have a golf course"
(Don't know if this has been posted before)
Yo mama's so s**...
She thought Dunkin Donuts was a basketball team
A blonde women's basketball team rallied and then t**... the score at the end of regulation...
...and the coach took out a bottle of wine and handed out glasses to the team.
After imbibing, the blonde team obviously ended up losing.
Coach was asked later by, "Why the early celebration?"
Coach said, "We weren't celebrating, we're not that s**.... I served wine because I heard it always gets better overtime."
Have you heard of Sante Fe High school's basketball team?
They lost their best shooter
Breaking News: the Warriors just signed the entire USA men's basketball team.
Why didn't the pastry make the basketball team?
Because there's no pie in team.
A great name for a hostpital basketball team.
The Hemoglobin Trotters.
AITA when coaching my son's basketball team for putting in a better player at the last minute (who never showed up to practice) instead my own son?
Whoops, wrong sub!
I recently discovered why most women prefer taller men!
It's because they all wish to form a basketball team
A team of black inmates play basketball against a team of white inmates in prison. The black inmates win. Why?
Home court advantage.
So last night I found out Dwight Howard got double teamed
And I'm not talking about on the basketball court
Why was Cinderella cut from the basketball team?
She kept running from the ball...
Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to h**....
When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!
The v**... Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"
"Yes," fumes God, "it turns out they're all terrible at receiving."
Did you hear about that b**... hilarious basketball team?
The Hemoglobetrotters?...
Why wouldn't they let the s**... on the basketball team?
Because he couldn't jump high
A Scientologist, a Catholic, and a m**... are talking about their families.
The Scientologist jokes, "I've got 4 kids. One more and I'll have a basketball team!" The Catholic joins in and says, "Well I've got 10 kids, and one more I'll have a football team!". The m**... speaks up and deadpans. "I've got 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."