The Best 60 Basketball Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Basketball jokes. There are some basketball hockey jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these basketball championship puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Basketball Jokes and Puns

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon all walk into a bar...

The Jewish man boasts, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team." The Catholic man says, "That's nothing! I have ten sons. One more and I'll have a soccer team!" The Mormon stands up and proclaims, "Big deal! I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"

A Catholic priest, a Baptist priest, and a Mormon priest are sitting in a bar

So a mormon priest, a baptist priest, and a catholic priest are sitting in a bar. The catholic priest says "I have six kids now, I have a basketball team". The baptist priest says "I have eleven kids now, I have a football team". The mormon priest says "I have 18 wives now, I have a golf course"

Mexican Basketball

I watched my two Hispanic cousins play basketball. It was a game of juan-on-juan.

Basketball joke, Mexican Basketball

why don't robot chickens play basketball?

too many technical fowls

What do blind people think of a basketball?

It's a never ending story.

Why did the duck go to the basketball game?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls!

Three guys are talking about their families (likely a re-post)

Three men - Bob, Joe, and David - are bragging about their families. Bob and Joe are Catholic, and David is Mormon.

Joe says "I've got four athletic daughters. One more and I'll have a championship basketball team."

Bob responds "I've got eight athletic sons. One more and I'll have an all-Anerican baseball team."

David answers "I've got five beautiful wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

Basketball joke, Three guys are talking about their families (likely a re-post)

How do Mexicans play basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

A young boy sees a tall black man

The boy says "wow you must be good at basketball!"

The black man irritably says "That's racist, just because I'm black doesn't mean I'm good at basketball."

The boy replies "I said you must be good at basketball because you are tall. If I judged you for being black, I wouldn't have said you were good at anything."

Why is cupid bad at basketball?

When he shoots, someone else scores.

You can explore basketball lacrosse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean basketball colts dad jokes. There are also basketball puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a girl hanging from a basketball rim?


What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection?


Why did the duck cross the basketball court?

He heard the referees were blowing fouls...

-Jim Norton

After sex, I pee like a pro basketball player!

Lots of dribbling.

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon are drinking together.

The Jew boasts about his fertility

"I have 4 sons; one more and I'll have a basketball team!"

"That's nothing," says the Catholic, "I have 10 sons! I almost have a football team!"

The Jew and Catholic looked expectantly at the Mormon. "Well?"

"I have 17 wives. I almost have a golf course!"

Basketball joke, A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon are drinking together.

Why did Jesus lose the basketball game?

Because Peter denied him three times.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls

Life is like a basketball...

It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

A Jewish guy, a Catholic guy and a Mormon are having dinner together...

...and they are bragging about their families.

"My wife and I have 4 strapping young boys" says the Jewish man. "If we have one more, we would have our own basketball team."

"Well, good for you" says the Catholic. "But we have 10 healthy sons. If we would have one more we would have our own football team."

"That's nothing" says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. If I have one more I would have my own golf course."

What does sex and basketball have in common?

I'm too short to play


So I gave a blind guy a basketball.

I think he's still trying to read it...

What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team?

The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers.

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

English, American and Arab guy bragging in a bar about their large family.

The American says: "I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!"

The English says: "I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football ("soccer") team!"

The Arab guy says: "I have 17 wifes. One more, and I can make a golf course!"

The Columbine basketball team hasn't been the same...

Since they lost their two best shooters

Sex is like basketball:

I'm 5'3" and don't play a lot of basketball.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball

The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't got long to live!"

I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"

She said, "Record it and watch it later."

You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…

I like my sex like I like my basketball

1 on 1 with as little dribbling as possible

My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot

Musta been like 5,000 degrees in there

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 12 black guys?

**A Basketball Coach**

What do you call a black guy surrounded by six white guys?

**Police Brutality**

(Again, sorry if I offended you. Just trying to make a joke.)

Ever wondered why there's no Congressional Basketball game?

Because Congress can't pass anything.

My girl wants to travel so bad

I told her to pick up a basketball and take three step

How did Link win the basketball game?

With his hookshot... (Sorry)

I once volunteered to help out at a special needs school

I played games with them like football, tennis, basketball etc.
It makes you feel so good inside...

Because you always win.

In the annual gay vs straight basketball game, the gay team has prevailed,

in what was a come from behind victory.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?

Because the referee was blowin fowles

They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall.

They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini golf.

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?

Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.

Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?

Then I'd be a football fan.

What do Jewish people and basketball games have in common?

The tip off.

Blind basketball players...

You've got to hand it to them

My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court

The game would be cancelled.

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...'s so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

Sex is like basketball

You dribble a little before you shoot.

3 boys are bragging about their grandfathers

The first boy said: "My grandpa's mansion is worth a million dollars."

While the second said:"Well my grandpa's mansion is worth 5 million, he has a private basketball court and a clubhouse too. "

The last one said:" My grandpa's roof is worth 15 million alone... "

The other two replied:" Wow, where does your grandpa live?"

He replied:"under the overpass of course! "

God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."

"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."

why are black people so good at basketball?

because they practice

My tennis career has taught me that I can be the best basketball player ever

Nothing but net

Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together?

He shoots, he scores.

Basketball sued Tennis for no reason

Now they have to go to court

What do you call a shrimp that's really good at basketball?

Leprawn James

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

Why wouldn't they let the stoner on the basketball team?

Because he couldn't jump high

What do you call a metal basketball player?


I'm starting a group to play basketball and then discuss philosophy

It's called "shoot first, ask questions later"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the basketball ncaa jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working basketball teams piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes