Basket Jokes
106 basket jokes and hilarious basket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about basket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for something to lighten your mood? Whether you’re a basket weaving enthusiast or a basket case, these basket jokes are sure to hoop you over with laughter! From clever puns to alms-giving cart gags, you’re sure to find something funny for every occasion. Read on to laugh away your troubles!
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Funniest Basket Short Jokes
Short basket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The basket humour may include short bucket jokes also.
- My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed. It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold.
- My wife just tripped and dropped a basket full of freshly ironed clothes. I just sat back and watched it all unfold.
- Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters
- Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket? Because he was in de-nile
- In California... Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries?
...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures. - I grew up in a family of potters. I told my dad "I don't want to make pots anymore, I want to make baskets" and he was furious - he was going to kick me out.
He said "go. Weave." - I was weaving dangerously in the middle of the road this morning… I really should find a safer place to finish this wicker basket…
- did my laundry, and at the bottom of my basket were a couple of crumpled $1s As I smoothed them out for folding, my wife looked over at me, so I said "laundered money"
True story - Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters? He had no morel compass.
- Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket? He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps
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Basket One Liners
Which basket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with basket? I can suggest the ones about bench and bullet.
- What did Gandalf say to Elrond as he watched him make a basket? There Hugo Weaving again.
- What's Yogi Bear's favorite ice cream? Basket Robbins
- I ate a box of Triscuits and gave birth to a wicker basket.
- The psychiatrist was excited to receive a wicker attache. He always wanted a basket case.
- What was moses feeling when his mum put him in a basket on a river? He was in denial
- A warning to the Easter Bunny: Don't put all your eggs in one basket!
- What do you call two baskets that argue all the time? Bicker Baskets
- What do you call a basket of crow eggs? An abortion.
- What kind of baskets do DJ's like the most? Wicker wicker wicker
- Why should you never buy a twin a basket of fruit? Because they come in pairs.
- Grocery shopping fosters risky behavior. I always put all my eggs in one basket.
- What is the best basket ball team ever? The tricera-hops
- What do you call someone who is afraid of picnics? A basket case!
- Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
- Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Basket Case Jokes
Here is a list of funny basket case jokes and even better basket case puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A lawyer took a client who was charged with aggressively weaving objects to throw at people He had a real basket case on his hands
- There was a woman in psych ward who escaped and stole all of Wal-Marts shopping carts. It's clear, she's a basket case.
Fruits Basket Jokes
Here is a list of funny fruits basket jokes and even better fruits basket puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Valentine's day for mlm A guy sends his mom a fruit basket for Valentine's Day.
It was an Oedipal Arrangement. - Fruit Basket Stephen King and Richard Bachman are sharing a fruit basket. Which one noms de plum?
Basket Weaving Jokes
Here is a list of funny basket weaving jokes and even better basket weaving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dad, I don't want to make pots anymore. I want to make baskets. Weave this house immediately!
Basket Ball Jokes
Here is a list of funny basket ball jokes and even better basket ball puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are royalty so good at basket ball Because they routinely hold court *meant to say is not are*
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Basket Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about basket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean belt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make basket pranks.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket
The husband picks up a case of Fosters and puts it in their trolley.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $40 for 24 cans' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $80 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts:
'So does 24 cans of Fosters, and it's half the price.'
Regarding the basketball game last night.
I knew it was going tibia great game
Does a basketball player with an extra chromosome...
have both ups and downs?
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart...
...'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
The husband says, 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Indian Restaurant
I went to an Indian restaurant. The waiter brought out a basket of stale flatbread before realizing his mistake and bringing a fresh one. I would have complained, but it was a naan-issue.
I went out for dinner last night.
The Captain's Basket was on special for $7.00. I tried it just for the halibut.
What basketball team does a vampire play for?
The New York Necks
What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection?
LeBronchitis
Why don't basketball players cry?
They'd rather bawl instead
Why did the basketball receive medical attention?
He was passed out.
I want to own a basketball franchise in Miami and I want to name the team humidy...
Then when someone asks if its the heat I can go "its not the heat, its the humidity."
Eve says to Adam " this salad is so good"
Adam says to Eve "That's the basket with my dirty clothes"
What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?
Swish cheese.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Hillary Clinton recently said half of Tump's supporters are a "Basket of deplorables".
Next Trump will respond saying:
"Half of Hillary's supporters are deportables"
Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket?
He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.
What do you call the basket on a hot air balloon?
A balooney bin. Fuuuuuuck I hate myself.
Why do hypocrites avoid mixed metaphors?
The don't count their chickens in the same basket.
What did the basketballer say to the Lumberjack?
You got plaid
A rich man gave a basket of trash to a poor man[translated from hebrew]
The poor man smiled to the rich man and went on his way.
After emptying cleaning and filling it with flowers the poor man returned to the rich man and gave him basket.
Supreized the rich man asks: "why did you give me a basket of flowers after i gave you a basket of trash?"
The poor man replies:
"We all give what's in our hearts".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, p**..., keg, barrel, and bowl.
I needed to make a bucket list before I die.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i went to the liquor store on my bike.
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle v**... and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a crab holding a basket of tampons?
A crustacean m**... station.
I took a girl to an Indian restaurant and ordered the flatbread basket for an appetizer. My date criticized my choice and stormed out.
Something about me being a naan starter.
I went to the local liquor store on my bicycle the other day
I bought a nice bottle of scotch and put it in my basket.. I was afraid that if I fell over the bottle might break so instead of risking it I drank the bottle right there.
Turned out to be a smart thing to do because I must have fallen 12 times on my short way back home..
Church line
A man was waiting in line of a church. He saw an apple tree next to him, which also displayed a sign saying, "Take one only, God is watching..." He took one and waited once again.
By the end of the line, another sign was displayed near a basket of cookies that said, "Take as many as you like, God is busy watching the apples."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and
so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of
face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look s**... and beautiful for you
when we're making love,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser ... at half the price.'
A basketball player and a jockey are stuck in rising water so the jockey asks what they should do.
The basketball player says "It's not up to me, it's up to you".
My gf keeps putting her tampons in the garbage...
Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket.
Did you hear about the farmer who lost his basket of vegetables?
He said it's ok, they'll turnip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear Buffalo Bill reformed and is now a pick up artist and skin care specialist?
He puts the lotion in the basket and then he gets the h**... again
What's the difference between a wicker basket and wicker box?
Wicker basket is what Little Red Riding Hood carried to Grandma's house.
Wicker box is what Elmer Fudd does to his girlfriend on special occasions.
Why was the basketball court wet?
Because all the players kept dribbling on it.
(Not sure if repost, but I find it hilarious)
What Basketball Team Is Hated By Flat Earthers?
The Globetrotters.
Wife: I have a bag full of dirty & used clothing I'd like to donate....!
Husband: Why not just throw these in the trash? That's much easier for you.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes with basket full satisfaction.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
Big culinary news!
A basket of eggs just filed assault charges against a cook for beating them!
What do basketball players and babies have in common?
They both dribble.
What did the child with the speech impediment say when he used basketball slang to tell his friend, Johnson, to score a basket?
Dwain the rock, Johnson!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just 1v4'd in basketball, and they were all..
Disabled children
Why do basketball players wear bibs?
They dribble a lot
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that in basketball it's i**... to f**... on your opponent?
You'll get called for a fragrant 2.
A basketball joke
I was playing pig with my brother and it was taking forever so we decided to just play pi. But now it's been going on forever!!
A basketball champion in Paralympic walks into a bar
Wait a minute...
Today I used a picnic basket to foil a robbery at the garden centre.
I threw it at the perp, and the security guard took him down while he was hampered.
This old lady was in front of me at the store.
Cashier rang her out and it totalled $250. Her card kept declining. I felt so bad for her.
After I cherry picked her basket I helped her put it all back.
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.
Why can't basketball players have kids?
Because they always dribble before they shoot
Why didn't the basketball player go on vacation.
He didn't want to get caught traveling.
What is the difference between a dead body and an Easter egg?
One is buried in a casket while the other is carried in a basket
P.s Got it from BoJack Horseman
In basketball, what is it called when you lose due to a wildly thrown buzzer-beater?
Defeat-us by yeetus
Why did basketball players switch to longer shorts?
Because you couldn't see Larry's Bird but you could see Magic's Johnson.
Last night while shopping at the local MegaLoMart
we bought 2 dozen eggs. The cashier put both in the same bag. Of course, I responded "Please put those is separate bags. I don't like to put all my eggs in one basket." My wife, son and the cashier all gave me the eye roll. Mission accomplished.
Basketball sued Tennis for no reason
Now they have to go to court
Did you know that Vegas has more Catholic Churches than casinos?
Not surprisingly, some Sunday worshipers give casino chips when the collection basket is passed. Since they get chips for many different casinos the churches have devised a system to handle the collections. The churches send all of their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then taken to the individual casinos to redeem for cash.
This is done by the chip monks.
My wife was so upset when I brought a basket full of cadaver feet home from the morgue the week before Christmas...
I thought they'd make great stocking-stuffers.
Women. I just can't read 'em.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The executioner is going to be p**... when he finds out we lost the basket from his guillotine.
I'm telling you, heads will roll!
A woman goes into an art gallery and sees two still-life pictures. Both are of a table laid for lunch with a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls and a plate of sliced ham. However, one picture is selling for $75 and the other for $100.
Curious, she goes to the gallery owner and asks him what the difference is between the two pictures. The owner points at the $100 painting and says, You get more ham with that one.
An 8 year old Jesus of Nazareth walks into his house...
Leaving the door open, tracking mud across the floor Mary just cleaned, throwing his clothes on the floor instead of in the basket... And Mary yells "Jesus!!! What do you think your doing?? You act like you were born in a....oh yeah, never mind"
Guy is rolling down the sidewalk in a desk chair
He has a laptop under one arm, a phone under the other. A portable printer on his lap. He has a small wastepaper basket on his head. A swingline stapler in his shirt pocket
Cop spots him and says "what do you think you are doing?"
"Impersonating an office, sir."
I've been challenged to make a play on words with the word for a whole bunch of peaches in a basket.
Try as I might though, I just can't punnet.
Basketball players are very messy eaters
They're always dribbling
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mate lets his dog drink beer with us every time we stay over.
One time the dog had about 4 or 5 bottles of the stuff in one evening.
I woke up the next morning in his flat to go for a pee and saw the dog lying awkwardly in his basket looking a bit worse for wear. Hung-over, I'm sure.
I said How you feeling buddy?! mid-p**... and to my surprise he responded with just the word: Rough
