The Best 45 Basis Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Basis jokes. There are some basis bakers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these basis base puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Basis Jokes and Puns

My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery.

The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.

A company in Thailand recently opened the first combination brothel/tennis facility.

They operate on a first come / first serve basis.

How do bakers share their professional secrets?

Purely on the knead to know basis.

Basis joke, How do bakers share their professional secrets?

So my genetics professor reported this morning that diarrhea has a genetic basis

According to her, it runs in our jeans.

A jury finds a man not-guilty in court...

During trial much evidence had been produced that showed the defendant to be guilty.
Upon the jury's decision the prosecutor incredulously asked the judge: "Your honor, on what basis could the jury possibly have acquitted the defendant?!"
The judge replied: "Temporary insanity".
To which the prosecutor exclaimed: "All 12 of them?"

Bakers trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.

Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah.

He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.

Basis joke, Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah.

In a shelter for abused women.

My husband used to beat me on regular basis. Sometimes, he would get his drinking mates and they would stand one after another to beat me. But one day I said to myself: get a grip woman, enough is enough. So when my husband and his mates collapsed drunk, I run away to this shelter. After 6 months I feel much better. The thing I like the most about this place is that there is no punchline.

how does a bakery know when to make more bread?

on a knead the dough basis

Did you hear that Shakira and Madonna had a big fight?

They're no longer on a first-name basis.

I have a super secret baking recipe for bread

...Unfortunately it's on a knead to dough basis

You can explore basis justify reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean basis bakery dad jokes. There are also basis puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events

Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.

What do you call a doctor who studies tumors on an as-needed basis?

An oncallogist

A man and his wife had a sex on a regular basis.

hahaha i'm sorry.. I just can't say that with a straight face

Bakers have a weird way of trading bread recipes.

Its done on a knead to know basis. Gotta get the dough somehow

Why are bakers so secretive?

Because they work on a knead to know basis

Basis joke, Why are bakers so secretive?

I'm definitely a dog person...

I'm always on a first name basis with them.

Bread is classified information!

It's on a knead-to-dough basis.

When I was in China, everybody always told jokes about cow's milk.

I would hear them on a dairy basis.

My granddad was a wise man...

...he told me that you can't find happiness all by yourself. To live a truly happy life you need to be in a fulfilling relationship. You need to find a wife that loves you unconditionally, a wife that challenges you on a daily basis, a wife that you always want to make love to and most importantly you must make sure that they'll never meet.

How does an alcoholic decide how much beer to drink?

On a case-by-case basis.

I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"

They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn't think so, it's on a knead to dough basis."

What did Louis CK call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?

Different Strokes for Different Folks

I know an old bakers secret

I'd tell you but it's on a kneed to know basis.

A baker approaches a crime scene and asks the cop what happened...

"Sorry, that's on a knead to dough basis."

What do aliens do on a regular basis?

Space X

I have a top secret bread recipe

I'd tell you but, it's on a knead to dough basis

Did anyone hear about the new secret bakery?

It's on a knead to Dough basis

We should clone Terry Crews and arm his horde of clones to wage war on our enemies

He could form the basis for a new milli-Terry

When the doctor told me having a Colostomy would improve my grammar, I didn't believe him.

But it was true; I now use a semi-colon on a regular basis.

Why are bakers secretive with recipes?

Knead to know basis.

Bakers only share their recipes on a knead to know basis.

Now that we've got the puns out of the way, how about some actually decent comments?

I asked my local baker for her amazing bread recipe.

She said it's on a knead to dough basis.

I'm pretty bad at the dab, but I still do it on a regular basis

I guess you could say I dabble

My local Erectile Dysfunction Clinic has a money-back guarantee.

They get paid on a pro-boner basis.

My dad is like the reposts on this sub.

I see him on a regular basis and he stopped being funny a long time ago.

I'm working on a top secret project using honey to create alcohol

It's on a mead to know basis.

Remember: Sex on a regular basis

Helps keep your memory alive and strong.

I wish you all a great 2016.

How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?

On a queso by queso basis.

I knew a girl who sold her body when times were tough.

She did it on a need-to-ho basis.

Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio

The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

I'm a change of basis:

A^-1 MA

Did you hear about the guy who knocked himself out when he face-planted with his patella?

No? Guess it was on a knees-to-nose basis.

Remember, having sex on a regular basis helps keep your memory healthy and functioning properly.

Here's to an unforgettable new year!! Happy 2018, everyone!!

I don't like teachers who make me calculate with humans.

They commit math genocide on a daily basis.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the basis knead jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working basis purely piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes