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Basic Jokes

165 basic jokes and hilarious basic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about basic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A funny take on the fundamentals of programming & its concepts. This article provides a list of basic jokes for programmers, as well as a few non-basic, back to basics, and even a few fundamental equations to implement. Laugh your way through coding with these basic jokes.

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Funniest Basic Short Jokes

Short basic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The basic humour may include short simple jokes also.

  1. Judaism is a lot like the pH scale. On one side of the spectrum there are basic Jews, and on the other side, Hasidic.
  2. I just realized titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie. Icy dead People!
  3. I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures! I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.
  4. Going to mass is basically just like a dog being trained A guy tells you to sit and stand and sit and stand, and at the end they give you a snack
  5. If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam. It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.
  6. An apple a day keeps the doctor away... An orange a day keeps the plumber away...
    Basically if you throw fruit at people they go away.
  7. After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics again. How to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself and how to not argue with me at the top of the stairs again.
  8. What was the basic white girl's favorite picture book? The Little Engine That Couldn't Even.
  9. I'd call myself a politician, but then I would just be a liar... So, basically, I would be a politician.
  10. Pedophiles are basically another form of hipsters... ... they are into people before it's cool.

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Basic One Liners

Which basic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with basic? I can suggest the ones about ordinary and base.

  1. Girl if I had to rate you, I'd give you a 10 Oh the pH scale, because girl you are basic.
  2. 85%of people in America don't know basic math. Thanks God I'm from the other 25%
  3. I'm 95% vegan now... Basically, I'm vegan all the time. Except when I'm eating
  4. Male bees die after mating. That's basically their entire lives. Honey. nut. Cheerio.
  5. Why don't they put advertisements on the Hulk? He's basically a huge banner.
  6. Girl, you're a 10? On the pH scale, maybe, cuz you basic.
  7. Why doesn't Marvel advertise on Hulk? He is basically a giant banner.
  8. Why can't Jewish girls be basic? They're too Hasidic
  9. what does a basic white girl and an improper fraction have in common? They can't even
  10. Coffee is acidic. Until you add pumpkin and spices... Then it becomes basic.
  11. Yo momma so basic... ...she got a pH of 15.
  12. Every shape is basically a circle It's just that they are all edgy.
  13. You're a 10? On the pH scale maybe, cause you're basic
  14. My sister is a 13 on the pH scale. She's basic but can't even.
  15. Marvel should use The Hulk to advertise movies. I mean basically he's just a big Banner.

Not Basic Jokes

Here is a list of funny not basic jokes and even better not basic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing... There were no casual tees.
  • I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
  • Have you heard of I can't believe it's not butter ? It's basically the same as butter, but there's a margarinal difference.
  • I find my confidence always goes up after some basic carpentry... ...I'm pretty proud of myshelf
  • What's the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss? They are basically the same except you do an Australian kiss down under.
  • Saw a tree with 'Live, Laugh, Love' carved into it It was a basic birch
  • I hated the girls at my school They used to hit me with a ruler.. Slap me in the face. Basically did everything they could just to defend themselves.
  • Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.
  • Some people think it's weird that nuns wear basically the same clothes everyday. But to them, it's a habit.
  • If you go to jail for tax evasion.... ....aren't you basically living off taxes, for not paying your taxes.

Back To Basic Jokes

Here is a list of funny back to basic jokes and even better back to basic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.
  • I've studied Basic Human Anatomy so much I know it like the back of my hand.
  • A palindrome is a word that looks the same from the front and back... ...basically, it's the word equivalent of your mum.
  • My daughter just cracked my new Iphone Xs screen, so I'm passing it back to a lucky commenter. Info below. Girl, 7-year-old, can do basic math and alphabet, good at housework, overall a good child.
  • If we really cared about gun control, we should just still Alaska back to Russia. The whole state's basically a giant AK-49.
  • Back to basics. Yo mama is soo dumb, she applied to Devry and got waitlisted.
Basic joke, Back to basics.

Basic Training Jokes

Here is a list of funny basic training jokes and even better basic training puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL military personnel are less likely to get acid reflux Probably because they all have to go through basic training.
  • What do the French learn in basic training? How to surrender in twenty-seven different languages.
  • How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? Just 1, it's part of their basic electrical training and certification.
  • What's the final step before a sorority girl gets initiated? Basic Training
  • How does a white girl prepare for the world? Basic training.

Universal Basic Jokes

Here is a list of funny universal basic jokes and even better universal basic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They said I'd never make it as a screenwriter, but I just signed a multi-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures! Looks like I'm going with the basic cable plus HBO Max.
  • Why is everyone in outer space a basic white girl? Because the universal currency is Starbucks
  • Why don't you drink universal indicator? Because it'll reveal how basic you are.
  • What do you call a basic university class on golf facility management? A coarse course course.
  • In an alternate universe, Shakespeare's writings are the easiest to understand But basic dialogue... is for prose.

Visual Basic Jokes

Here is a list of funny visual basic jokes and even better visual basic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I like my women like I like my programming languages. Visual and basic
Basic joke, I like my women like I like my programming languages.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about basic can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of basic puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly & Ridiculous Basic Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about basic you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean basis jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make basic prank.

Why do popular kids have a pH of 14

Because they are so basic!

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.
Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?

Exception to the rule

The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal p**... stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my privates by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'First Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, First Sergeant!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, First Sergeant!"
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."

Network administrator

A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"

Mr T and I were thinking about scaling a glass wall.

We were looking at the standard equipment and the fancy equipment too. I selected the most basic suction device for my ascent, and suggested Mr T do likewise.
He looked at me and said, "I ain't using no plain s**...!"

The police are currently on the lookout for a massive homeless dumpling that has been indiscriminately ransacking houses for money to buy basic necessities.

He's a wanted wanting wanton one-ton wonton.

Facebook and basic cable

Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.

The basics of male m**...

Are easy to grasp.

As I was leaving home to start a new life for myself

As I was leaving home to start a new life for myself across the country my mom said" Don't forget to write!"
I thought "That's unlikely... It's a basic skill,isn't it?"

Why is the pH of a white girl either 9, 11 or 13?

1. She's basic.
2. She literally can't even.

You're a 10...

You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic.

I once knew a girl so basic...

...that if you pushed her into a pool of acid, it'd be considered a-salt.

Are you a monosaccharide?

'Cause sugar, you're basic.

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

Hey girl, you're a 10 on my scale...

But that's only because you're basic.

Two cats crossing a river

Two cats are swimming across a river.
Only one of them made it.
One cat was named one, two, three and the other cat was named un, deux, t**....
Which one made it across the english or the french cat?
The english cat of course, un, deux, t**... cat sank.
*basic knowledge of french required, if you don't understand the joke.

I know the basics of s**......

You could say I know the ins and outs.

So, today I found out that Starbucks coffee is an 8 on the ph scale

I guess that you could say all of those white girls are basic.

What did the basic girl say after all her writing utensils broke?

I literally cant even write now

If I had to describe myself in three words...

It would be; Tall, dark and unable to follow basic instructions

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II...

Since my grandfather had served during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, "Did you ever kill anyone?"
He got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, "Probably. I was the cook."

What's the opposite of a basic Jew?

A Hasidic Jew.
(Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)

Why is Starbuck's coffee so high on the pH scale?

It's the most basic drink there is.

When I left home, my mum said, "Don't forget to write."

I thought, "That's unlikely... It's a basic skill, isn't it?"

How much does a basic white girl weigh?

... an instagram :3

Center for Disease Control: overconsumption of beta-carotene linked to dangerous rise in pH of blood

In other words, pumpkin spice lattes make you basic.

I'm just a basic Jew...

...but if things go sour, I might become Hasidic.

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with?

Thyme management

Girl, are you Sodium Hydroxide?

cause you basic.

"Describe yourself in three words"

"Incapable of following basic instructions and cool"

When asking a basic white girl if she wants some Starbucks, the short answer will always be "yas"

The long answer is probably going to be "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas"

A friend showed me a periodic table app he made.

I told him, "Cool. When's the next update?"
He replied, "You see, one of the basic elements of app-making is that you have to update it periodically."

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.
Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
The other chemicals were like 'omg'!
Two noble gases went on a date.
There was no reaction.
Two protons went on a date.
There was no attraction.
Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.
They felt a little sour after it.
Hydrogen and nitrogen went on a date.
They had a basic night out.
Sodium and chlorine went on a date.
There was assault.
Potassium and water went on a date.
It was lit.

Your a ten babe

On the PH scale maybe, cause you basic

I aced my chemistry test on the pH scale...

It was really basic.

Girl, is your H+ concentration 1x10^14?

Because you're basic asf.

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

The Deadliest Job in WW2

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, Did you ever kill anyone?
Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, Probably. I was the cook.

I'm basically a walking Dad joke.

My daughter ran up to me and said, "Daddy, I'm hungry!" I replied, "Give me a better opener, that bit's played out."

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.
"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"
Revitalized, we picked up the pace.
"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."

You're in the Army Now

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

My parents taught me from birth that the coloreds and the w**... should be separated.

I mean, that's just basic laundry.

States would make a lot more revenue if they taxed people who don't understand math or basic probability.

Oh wait. I forgot about the lottery.

A preschool teacher is teaching a student basic geography

Teacher: "what state do you live in?"
Student: "denial."

What's the pH of a Starbucks Frappuccino?

I'm not sure of the exact number, all I know is that it's *very* basic.

Police Station Intelligence Test

Apologies if this has been posted before \(I searched, albeit not a lot\). My physics teacher in college told me this one:
They gave a basic intelligence test at the local police station. The kind where you have to stick the geometric shapes in the corresponding holes.
It turns out we have two kinds of cops: Very s**... ones and very strong ones.

Two men are standing in line in Russia

One says to the other "What is this line for?"
"Toilet paper" his friend replies.
"I'm SICK of these endless lines just to get the basic needs of life! ", he says. "I'm going to go kill Putin."
He leaves, but comes back within a couple of hours. His friend is still standing in line for toilet paper. "Why are you back?", he asks. "Did you kill Putin?"
"No", the man replies, "The line for that was longer than this one!"

They asked me to name a synonym to the word "basic"

The answer is simple

Why do chemistry students learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic stuff

What did the student's extremely basic answer get in the exam?

14/14

How many monsters can do basic math?

All of them, unless you count Dracula

Waiter:"There's basically everything on our menu"

Customer:"I see. Now, would you please bring me a cleaner one?"

So I'm dating this girl, called magnesium hydroxide, she likes fairy lights, nickelback and pumpkin spiced lattes...

Yeah she is pretty basic.

Everyone knows part of the way toothpaste works is by equalizing the acidic substances in your mouth.

I mean, it's basic science.

TIL That procrastination stems from 2 basic personality traits

I'll post the link in a minute.

Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?

To make them even more basic.

A student asked a teacher, "What does a pH greater than 7 mean?"

The teacher replied, "It's basic chemistry "

"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar, how much money would you have?"

"One dollar." answered little Johnny.
"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my father"

On a pH scale, I give this joke a 10

Because it's pretty basic

A requirement to be a pilot is to be good at basic math

So I asked a couple pilots what 300 + 90 was and they all said 30. I guess they are not that smart after all.

The problem with math jokes

Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.
The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills

I'm so glad I'm in the 1%

Judge: "How do you explain your actions?"

"Basic math. 2 times 9 equals 18"

A politicians promise

A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.

Saw a little girl walk into my store today wearing a shirt that said FINISHER 2019...

I said sweetie, that's a basic achievement, FINISHER 2020 is the real achievement.

Free Speech

Dude:I believe in freedom of speech
Bro:So does everyone else you idiot.You don't get brownie points for believing in a basic right
Dude:Hey you can't say that!

All my wife drinks is Alkaline Vapor Distilled Ionized Water.

She's such a basic b**....

A politician visited a village in India..

A politician visited an Indian village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in the village.

Basic joke, A politician visited a village in India..

jokes about basic

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these basic jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.