The Best 86 Basically Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Basically jokes. There are some basically predominantly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these basically absolutely puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Basically Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss?

They are basically the same except you do an Australian kiss down under.

Philosophy Major: True story

With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience.

Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it. He looks at one student and asks, What would your parents say if you told them you were changing your major to Philosophy.

The student says, They'd be thrilled. See, I am a theater major.

Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.

Basically joke, Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day?

So Apple made a spinoff of the iPod Touch...

...where you design all its features yourself. The color, storage, apps that come with it, basically everything.

However, it got banned from all Apple stores because of its name, the iTouchMyself.

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine:

Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.


So I went to a production about puns today...

...it was basically just a play, on words.

After doing 50 years each in the penitentiary, Jim and Joe were finally free.

The first thing they did was head straight to a brothel. The madam noticing that both men were really old and half blind decided she would just pair them each with a blow up doll and hope they wouldn't notice.

After it all went down, the first man tells the other... "I got a bad one Joe, she basically just laid there", to which he replied "better than me, I just poked her and she farted and flew out the window".

Basically joke, After doing 50 years each in the penitentiary, Jim and Joe were finally free.

I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.

That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

A job interview is a lot like a first date

The major differences being that you have no interest in sleeping with the other person and you'll end up making a lot of money if things go well. So basically, a job interview is exactly like a first date for a woman.

A joke is like a frog..

When you dissect it, it dies.

Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it.

Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.

The religion of bras.

There are basically 3 types of bras for women that can be described in religious terms.

There's the Catholic bra: it holds the masses.

There's the Salvation Army bra: it uplifts the downtrodden.

There's the Baptist bra: it makes mountains out of mole-hills.

You can explore basically primarily reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean basically nutshell dad jokes. There are also basically puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A bit different, this isn't a joke, but I have an idea for a joke

Basically, in the joke, there's a bride and a groom, and they are planning their wedding. The bride leaves the groom at the altar, and the ceremony goes off *without a hitch*

How can I word this joke to make it the most effective?

As a New-Zealander it always annoys me when people think we all have sex with Sheep.

Silly people should know by now, it's also goats, horses, cows, basically anything with a hole...

My friend got a job at a temp agency, getting a job giving people jobs

So he's basically a prostitute

"Have you heard about the new rule in boxing?"

... James asked his friend Jake. Jake hadn't.
- Basically, to reduce the number of blows under the belt that boxers deliver and receive, their outfits will feature a line just above the waist that they must aim for with every hit.
- What? That's ridiculous! Is there something written on it?
- Of course! __This is the punchline__."

Anyone know any good anti jokes?

Anti jokes are basically jokes that are so serious and deliberately not funny to the point where they are funny. Yeah its hard to explain. But I was looking for some good ones that aren't already on the anti joke website so share them if you know any.

Basically joke, Anyone know any good anti jokes?

Desperate Need of Good Jokes

Basically I've had the shittiest day/month and I could really do with some cheering up.
Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))

You Are What Your Eat

I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism.

Pedophiles are basically another form of hipsters...

... they are into people before it's cool.


I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex

I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best.

A stallion with a smoking habit kidnaps hookers.

So basically a hoarse horse hoards whores.

I made the best on the spot Dad joke today

I was talking with a customer today, and she was telling me that she was on her way to work. She said she was a live in residential manager or something, but basically she takes care of an old guy. She was telling me she works third shift hours, so she gets paid to sleep.
That's when I told her she's literally got her dream job. *ba dun tss*

I was sat on the beach with my girlfriend the other day.

After a while, I turned to her and said, "If you were to see someone in a bra and knickers at the beach, you would think they are crazy. But somehow it's perfectly acceptable to wear a bikini, which is stupid as it's basically the same thing."

She said, "I don't care. Please, just take them off."

A palindrome is a word that looks the same from the front and back...

...basically, it's the word equivalent of your mum.

Going to mass is basically just like a dog being trained

A guy tells you to sit and stand and sit and stand, and at the end they give you a snack

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.

You understand it better, but it dies in the process.

See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how you basically kill a frog when dissecting it to better understand the functioning of its inner body parts, since there is now little left in the joke to laugh at.

*

Wife is in hospital with unknown condition

So she asks her husband to go to her doctor and find out how bad is it.

'Well, her condition is very strange. Basically, you'll have to have sex with her at least once a day or she will die' doctor sais.

Husband nods and goes back to his wife.

'Honey, what did the doctor say? ' wife is anxious to find out.

'He said you're going to die soon'...

A fork and a knife's conversation

Knife: forks are basically useless.

Fork: why? What will people eat with?

Knife:with their hands.

Fork: you've got a point

You are what you eat...

...so that's why I'm basically a clone of my girlfriend.

What's the talent show where the contestants do basically nothing?

"American Idle"

Explaining to my Married Friends how Tinder works.

Me : So you swipe right if you like them and swipe left if you don't like

Them : Ohhhhhh

Me : So basically you need to log in to the Facebook account to access the app.

Them : Ohhhhhh

Me : Don't worry nothing gets posted on Facebook

Them : Ohhhhhh

P. S - Only Married Folks understand the subtle difference in the Ohhhhhhs

If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam.

It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.

Saw my friend JC with a squinty eye and asked him what happened..

He said he was having a really bad day coz he accidentally jizzed himself in the eye while jerking off.

Basically he said "I came, eye sore."

I concurred.

If beer is basically bread in a bottle, what is beer from India?

Naan-alcoholic

My Dad's favorite sports are horse racing, bike racing, and women...

... basically anything where you can put a leg over something and ride it.

I'd call myself a politician, but then I would just be a liar...

So, basically, I would be a politician.

Have I ever told you guys about how I escaped from the Middle East?

Iran.

Oman the whole story is ridiculous.

I basically had to Qatar cross the border.

Just like Bon Jovi, I was basically Lebanon a prayer the whole time.

I know it doesn't sound like a true story, but I assure you Israel.

Honestly I could tell you more but it Kuwait.

Have you ever noticed that American and Canadian coins look basically the same? Is that intentional?

Or is it just a coin-cidence?

I went to investigate a nearby bank that was recently robbed by the workers there...

They basically sold out a bunch of suckers.

Dark humor is basically like Drone Strikes...

They are directed toward Africa and The Middle East.

G'day is so gay

How are Australian's so homophobic? G'day is basically gay with the D rammed into it

My girlfriend is really attached to me

She's basically my right arm

"Bananas" and "synonymous" have the same amount of Ns and vowels

They're ... basically the same.

I'm basically a walking Dad joke.

My daughter ran up to me and said, "Daddy, I'm hungry!" I replied, "Give me a better opener, that bit's played out."

I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it.

I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".

Why don't they put advertisements on the Hulk?

He's basically a huge banner.

A propeller is a big fan

A jet's propeller is basically just a big fan to cool down the pilot. Once it stops spinning, you can see him start sweating.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away...

An orange a day keeps the plumber away...

Basically if you throw fruit at people they go away.

What happens if you drink bleach?

You *basically* die.

In the far future, after all governments have unified, a rich man will be convicted of a crime, making him hated among the people and causing his assets to be frozen

So he was basically discredited.

Why doesn't Marvel advertise on Hulk?

He is basically a giant banner.

Why is Riot Games dying?

The company is basically worth Tencents now.

The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...

So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.

I watched hockey before it was cool.

They basically were swimming.

Television was never really black and white before color

It was basically just 50 shades of gray

I'm 95% vegan now...

Basically, I'm vegan all the time. Except when I'm eating

What's the difference between a jail and Facebook?

Basically none.
You sit, waste your time and write on the wall.

Babies and animals love me...

Basically, anyone not smart enough to know better.

A korean couldn't find his coin, so basically ...

a korean lost a korean won

If you lose your fingers your girlfriend basically turns into a truck with no battery...

You can't turn her on so she demands to be toed.

I hated the girls at my school

They used to hit me with a ruler.. Slap me in the face. Basically did everything they could just to defend themselves.

Did you hear about the new wing at Sea World for all critically injured dolphins?

It's basically a hospital for all intensive porpoises

Trash/rubbish bags and condoms are basically the same thing.

You fill them with your junk and they always seem to break when carrying a big load

If you want some Vietnamese soup but there is a really long line

It's basically a big pho queue

DJ Khaled

DJ Khaled's full name is Khaled Ibn Abdul Khaled, so basically his name is Khaled Khaled.

When his mum named him, he was like another one.

Waiter:"There's basically everything on our menu"

Customer:"I see. Now, would you please bring me a cleaner one?"

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

My nude studies class

has a new male model called William Wallace. He is really well endowed. While sketching him I was just in awe of it ! So, I invited him to come home with me last night.



Basically just like his historical namesake, William Wallace was hung, drawn and quartered.

Music producers are basically like a pizza business.

They both make their dough from mixers.

When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn't laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I've persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she's in labor with our fourth and I've finally got her laughing...

...I think I've really improved the delivery!

(True Story: Today is baby number four, and this is basically the same lame joke I told/posted when our last child was born. Dad jokes 4TW!)

I'm a 1%er and the rest of you are beneath me

I mean whole and 2% are too creamy and skim is basically disgusting milky water.

Jokes

Vegan hot dogs are basically the strap on of food .

You want the sausage but not the meat

Imagine a world without herbs. It would be basically the same...

But it would be missing just a little something.

*Credit to Sean Lock

I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.



That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

Why do you have anxiety all the time

I'm basically a walking NERVOUS system

An American man meets a woman while on a business trip to Paris. She barely speaks any English, but their date goes well...

During sex, she is moaning and basically screaming C'est le mauvais trou . He is emboldened and confident, seeing how much he's pleasing her. Over and over again, C'est le mauvais trou!

The next day, he's playing golf with a client who hits an amazing hole in one. Eager to use his new compliment, the man says C'est le mauvais trou!

The client replies What the hell do you mean that's the wrong hole?!

China's lack of transparency on virus is fuelling rumors: US experts

It's basically all this he said Xi said bullshit.

Guys need your support .

I am starting my new venture, a food App that will help all of you reduce weight dramatically.

Basically it works as follows:

You order, we don't deliver!
Seeking your support as always!!!

Why didn't companies put ads on hulk?

He's basically a giant Banner

Being an adult is

basically trying to avoid people who have seen you naked, while trying to find new people to see you naked.

If your dad is a lawyer

He's basically your father in law

This sub is basically shit.

Not a joke. I'm scouring the ocean floor in a vessel mainly made of zebra feces.

Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places.

You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.

I often worry about German sausages

Basically I fear the wurst.

Does anyone want to hang out, chat, and basically just be buddies with a lonely guy?

I'm asking for a friend.

If you go to jail for tax evasion....

....aren't you basically living off taxes, for not paying your taxes.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the basically frankly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working basically spawn piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes