Basic Training Jokes
13 basic training jokes and hilarious basic training puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about basic training that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Basic Training Short Jokes
Short basic training jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The basic training humour may include short training day jokes also.
- Going to mass is basically just like a dog being trained A guy tells you to sit and stand and sit and stand, and at the end they give you a snack
- TIL military personnel are less likely to get acid reflux Probably because they all have to go through basic training.
- What do the French learn in basic training? How to surrender in twenty-seven different languages.
- How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? Just 1, it's part of their basic electrical training and certification.
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Basic Training One Liners
Which basic training one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with basic training? I can suggest the ones about trainee and driver training.
- What's the final step before a sorority girl gets initiated? Basic Training
- How does a white girl prepare for the world? Basic training.
Basic Training Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about basic training you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boot camp jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make basic training pranks.
Network administrator
A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
You're in the Army Now
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
The time Newfoundland went to war with Quebec
One time Newfoundland and Quebec went to war. A Newfie, being patriotic, signed up to fight and went into basic training. Now, Newfoundland was a poor province and the army didn't have enough guns so the guys was told to just pretend to have gun and shout "bang, bang".
Eventually he finished training and his unit was deployed. He still didn't have a gun so when they went up against the Quebeckers he did the only thing he knew, he pretended he had a gun and went "Bang, bang." Amazingly, when he did this the Quebeckers he was aiming at would fall down. So he kept going "Bang, bang" and was very effective as a soldier. He was a good shot.
Then, he looked up and saw a big Quebecker coming down the hill towards him. So he aimed and went "Bang, bang". The guy kept coming. "Bang, bang" - no effect. "Bang, bang" - no effect.
Eventually the Qiuebecker ran right over him and continued down the hill going "Tankity, tankity, tankity".
Canadian guy, American guy, ugly woman and gorgeous woman on a train.
A Canadian guy, American guy, a ugly woman and gorgeous woman are sitting in opposing seats on a train. After some initial introductions of where they're from and where they're going, they settle in to do their own thing and basically ignore each other.
Some time later, the train enters a tunel and all goes black, then suddenly they hear a big slap. As the train exits the tunnel there's the American with the side of his face all red wearing a look of shock.
In the mind of the ugly woman, "That American tried to g**... the gorgeous girl and she slapped him!"
In the mind of the gorgeous woman, "That American tried to g**... me, but got the ugly woman instead and she slapped him!"
In the mind of the American, "That Canadian tried to g**... the gorgeous woman and she tried to slap him but got me instead!"
In the mind of the Canadian, "I hope we go through another tunnel so I can slap that American again"
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office.
There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.
“Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one.
“You didn’t really do that, did you?”
“You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked,
“Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”