Baseball Umpire Jokes
9 baseball umpire jokes and hilarious baseball umpire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baseball umpire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Baseball Umpire Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good baseball umpire joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A rough, hard drinking baseball umpire
was upset because he couldn't get his little boy to sit on his lap and talk to him.
After all, the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
God and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.
Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys."Very well," said God . "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches.""I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."
One day a baseball umpire brought his son to a game to watch him work. Dutmring the game, the umpire was rude and insulting, even to the point of spitting and cursing the players. At the end of the game he knelt down and beckoned his son to come sit on his knee. The boy refused saying . . .
The son never sits on the brutish umpire.
Did you hear about the Welsh baseball referee who circles the world each day?
The sun never sets on the British umpire.
A baseball pitcher is walking home...
after a long and exhausting game. Suddenly, bright lights appear in the sky directly above him, and a beautiful angel descends from above, wearing an umpire's mask and a catcher's mitt.
The pitcher looks up, gapes and thinks, "Heavens! She's so pretty."
Without skipping a beat, his shoulders slump back, his grin shines out of his mouth, he winks and says, "Hey baby. Wanna play some catch? Looking up at you makes me want to throw up."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was h**... a great baseball umpire?
Three Reichs and you're out.
So, a bird flies in front of a pitcher and gets hit by a baseball. What do the umpires rule it?
Fowl ball
A bird gets hit and killed by a baseball
The umpire and coroner agreed to call it foul play.
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived.
Everything went quite well.
As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up.
After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats.
After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts."
They all broke out into applause and cheered.
When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling.
Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he turned, there was a riot in progress.
Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?"
The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'peanuts'".
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