Baseball Pitching Jokes
24 baseball pitching jokes and hilarious baseball pitching puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baseball pitching that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Baseball Pitching Short Jokes
Short baseball pitching jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baseball pitching humour may include short baseball pitcher jokes also.
- I was playing baseball with my friend Tandra and she was pitching. I hit the ball straight into left field and made it to second base. That's a double on Tandra.
- What's the difference between spaghetti's complement and the pitches at a baseball game between members of an intergovernmental military alliance? One is some NATO toss, and the other's tomato sauce.
- Did you hear about the guy who pitched a baseball game while getting drunk and s**...? He had a one hitter going until the bottom of the 5th!
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Baseball Pitching One Liners
Which baseball pitching one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baseball pitching? I can suggest the ones about baseball hitting and baseball.
- What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball? The bottom of the fifth
- Ever hear about the Baseball Park inside a Skyscrapper? It was quite the elevator pitch
Baseball Pitching Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about baseball pitching you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids baseball jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baseball pitching pranks.
Baseball in Heaven
Moe and Sam, who were both 90 years old, loved baseball, and they had their entire life. One day, they were sitting together on a bench in their neighborhood when Moe turns to Sam and says:
"Will you promise me something? Promise me that if you die first and go to heaven, you'll come back and tell if there's baseball there."
Sam agreed, and made Moe promise the same. 3 months later, Sam died, and the next week Moe woke up in his sleep with someone calling his name.
"Who's there?" he called out.
"Moe! It's me Sam!"
"Sam! It's so good to hear you! How's heaven?" Moe asked.
"It's great, but I've some news, some good and some bad" Sam told him.
"Well tell me the good news first" Moe replied.
"Ok, the good news is that, there is baseball in heaven."
"That's great." Moe exclaimed, "What's the bad news?"
"Well, the bad news is that I was reading the lineup, and you're pitching on Friday."
Baseball
A man, Tom was with his friend, Larry, Larry was about to die. "Let me know if there's baseball in heaven". said Tom. The next day as Tom was sleeping he woke up to Larry's voice.
"Tom, I have good news and bad news." "What's the good news"?
asked Tom. "There is baseball in heaven". explained Larry. "What's the bad news"? asked Tom "You're pitching Tuesday". said Larry
Today's Top Joke
Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."
Fatherly advice
When I was a little boy I fell off my bike and scraped my knee. My dad ran to me picked me up and told me to "shake it off."
Years later while playing baseball I was hit with a wild pitch, my dad called out from the stands "Shake it off son."
Before going off to college my long time girlfriend dumped me. Of course just like everything else in life when I was hurt my dad with his infinite wisdom once again told me to "shake it off."
Due to all the years of his great fatherly advice I knew exactly what to say when he was diagnosed with parkinson's disease.
First Pitch or ...
One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, "You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch."
Bill and Joe were best friends...
Bill and Joe were best friends since they were kids and had always shared an extreme love of baseball. One day, when Bill was on his deathbed, Joe asked him to find a way to tell him if there was baseball in heaven. Bill promised he would.
A few months after Bill had died, Joe woke up in his bed to the ghost of Bill calling his name.
"Bill!" Joe exclaimed
"Joe!" 'I have good news and bad news, The good news is there's baseball in heaven!"
"That's great Bill, but what's the bad news?"
"You're pitching on Tuesday"
John and Paul wanted to know if there is baseball in heaven
So they made a pact. Whoever died first would tell the other one if there is in fact baseball in heaven. John dies and he tells Paul, "I have good news and bad news". John says "The good news is yes, there is baseball in heaven". So Paul asks "So what is the bad news then" and John's reply is "The bad news is that you are pitching on Wednesday."
Play Ball!
Two baseball players were talking about whether there was baseball in heaven.
Each agreed to come tell the other about it if they happened to die first.
Well, one day the first player dies and then comes to let the other know that they do in fact have baseball in heaven.
"Good news! There is baseball in heaven!
Bad news....you're pitching tomorrow "
If only whitney houston could hit a baseball pitch as well as she could hit notes and pitch her voice.
She would have had the world's best hAND EYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIEEEEEIIIIIIIIIII coordination.
Two guys are arguing if there is baseball in heaven...
Two guys are arguing about whether there is baseball in heaven. One says there is and the other says there isn't. They go back and forth and in the end agree to disagree. They make a bet that if one of them dies that they come back and tell the other if there really is baseball in heaven.
A few months later one of the two dies and, true to his word, comes back and tells the other he has good news and bad news. Good news is that there is baseball in heaven! Bad news is you're scheduled to pitch next Thursday.
Baseball in Heaven
Two kids, Adam and John, absolutely love playing baseball. They play every day of their lives until years down the road Adam and John are now two old men who sit in the park feeding the birds and watching kids play baseball. One week later John passes away. Adam is sitting at the park alone when he hears Johns voice.
John -- Psst, Adam, its John.
Adam -- John buddy I miss ya! Hows heaven?
John -- Its great! But there is good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Adam -- The good news.
John -- There's baseball in heaven!
Adam -- That's great! What's the bad news?
John -- You're pitching next Monday.
Baseball in Heaven
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies.
A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"You're pitching on Wednesday."
Baseball heaven?
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Soloman thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe. But let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you, and if you die first, you come back and tell me, if there is basebal l in heaven."
They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is Sol," whispers the spirit of Abe.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe says, "I got good news and I got bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
Baseball
Two old friends in their 80's John and Frank grew up together and always loved baseball since they were young. They went to the park everyday to feed the bids and talk about baseball.
One day, John turns to Frank and says, "Frank, do you think there is baseball in heaven?"
John think for a second then says, "Well how about this. Whichever one of us dies first will find out if there is
baseball in heaven, then come back as a ghost to tell the other one."
Frank agrees to this and they continue to feed the birds and talk.
Sadly, a few weeks later, Frank dies of a heart attack.
John kept going to the park to feed the birds, only now, he did it alone. After a few days, he hears a voice, "Joooooohn. Jooooooohn."
John is surprised at first, but then says, "Frank? Is that you?"
Frank responds, "Yeeesss. I've come back with good news and bad news."
John asks, "Oh my god Frank! I've missed you so much! What's the good news?"
Frank responds, "The good news is that there is baseball in heaven."
John says, "Oh my god, that's amazing! What could possibly be the bad news?"
Frank says, "You're pitching on Friday."
Two old baseball fans
Two old guys, Bob and Steve, are huge fans of baseball. As in, that was all they ever talked about. Bob was on his deathbed, when Steve told him something.
"Bob," he said, "When you get to Heaven, could you let me know if they have baseball in Heaven?"
Bob said "yes" and then passed away.
Three weeks later, as a still-grieving Steve was falling asleep, a sudden light from high up in heaven (!) shined down on him, and an angel from the lord was sent to Steve.
"Hey Steve," the angel, who was revealed to be Bob, said, "Great news!"
"Bob! What is it?!" Steve said.
"I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that they *do have* baseball in Heaven."
"Whats the bad news?"
"You're pitching next week."
Bob and Jim.
Bob and Jim have always been bestfriends and grew up together playing baseball. They both loved baseball their whole lives and had always had a passion for the game. In the end of their life Jim is with bob on his death bed. Jim says to Bob, "After you go, can you send me a sign to tell me if there is baseball in heaven or not?" Bob agrees and passes soon after. A week goes by and Jim wakes up in the middle of the night with Bobs ghost standing in front of him. Bob says, "Jim, I have some good news and some bad news." Jim replies, "What's the good news? Is there baseball in heaven?" "Yes." says Bob. "So then what could be the bad news?!" asks Jim. Bob answers, "You're pitching Tuesday."
There are these two guys named John and Cliff.
They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard.
They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not.
One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man.
The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend.
"Hi, John.”"
"Cliff, is it really you?"
"Hey, I told you I’d be back to tell you what’s up. And, you know John, there’s good news and bad news."
"Okay. What’s the good news?"
"There is baseball in heaven."
"The bad news?"
"You’re pitching tomorrow night."