JokoJokes

Bartender Jokes

154 bartender jokes and hilarious bartender puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bartender that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some hilarious jokes to tell your bartender? This article has got you covered! From classic bartender tips, April Fool's pranks to pirate, animal, nurse and cartoon jokes, you can get it all. As for the beer jokes, the barman will certainly have something to say about that. Don't forget the math jokes too. So have a laugh and enjoy!

Best Short Bartender Jokes

Short bartender jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bartender humour may include short barkeeper jokes also.

  1. A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of..."
    The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get 1 shot."
  2. A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
  3. A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks. "We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.
  4. Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says... bear with me...
  5. A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
  6. A lawyer, comedian and a war hero walk into a bar. The bartender says, what can I get for you, Mr Zelensky?
    Credit to u/DrDerpberg
  7. So a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less. The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."
  8. Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender says "Three feet tall."
    Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
  9. The bartender says "No time travelers allowed in this bar" Two time travelers walk into a bar
  10. A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
    The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."

Quick Jump To


Bartender joke, A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bartender can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bartender puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Bartender One Liners

Which bartender one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bartender? I can suggest the ones about barmaid and barista.

  1. A horse walked into a bar
    Bartender: Hey
    horse: Yes please
  2. The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.
  3. Snake walks into a bar. And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''
  4. An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says "I'll have to see some id"
  5. A man walks into the bar... The bartender: "Hi Dave!"
    The boss faints.
  6. A deaf guy walks into a bar The bartender says
  7. So God, a Jew and a zombie walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey Jesus"
  8. f(x) walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't cater for functions
  9. A hamburger walks into a bar.. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here."
  10. Why was Sideshow Bob so jealous of Moe? He always wanted to be a bartender.
  11. Ego and superego walk into a bar The bartender says I'm gonna need to see some id
  12. A burger walks into a bar... The bartender says "sorry we don't serve food"
  13. Bono and The Edge walk into a bar The bartender sighs ugh, not you two again…
  14. a snake walks into a bar The bartender asked him : how tf did you just do that
  15. Two cows walk into a vegan bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."

Bartender Pirate Jokes

Here is a list of funny bartender pirate jokes and even better bartender pirate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar. The bartender walks over and says, "Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?"
  • A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants Bartender: "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
    Pirate: "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!"
  • A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, buddy, doesn't that bother you?"
    The pirate says, "Yar, it's drivin' me nuts."
  • A pirate walks in a bar... A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says "whats with that" the Pirate says "ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"
  • A pirate wearing a paper towel on his head walks into a bar. The bartender asks What's with the paper towel? The pirate says Arrr matey, I have a bounty on me head!
  • A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck between his legs. Bartender: What's with the steering wheel?
    Pirate: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!
  • A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey pirate, what's with the paper towel on your head?"
    The pirate replies, "Arrr, I got a bounty on me head."
  • A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender sees this and asks him why.
    The pirate replies, "Arr, I've got a bounty on me head!"
  • A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "You know you got a steering wheel in your pants"
    The pirate says "Aye, and it's drivin' me nuts!"
  • A pirate walks into his favorite bar with a roll of paper towels on his head The bartender says " What's with the paper towels Skipper? "
    The pirate says " Arr, there be a bounty on me head "

Bartender Animal Jokes

Here is a list of funny bartender animal jokes and even better bartender animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A hideously ugly man with a parrot on his shoulder walk into a bar... The bartender asks "does the animal speak?"
    The parrot replies "I don't know."
  • A horse walked into a bar... The bartender said Dear God!
    Animal Control was called shortly thereafter
  • A Horse Walked Into The Bar... The Bartender says "Why The Long Face?"
  • A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
  • A horse walks into a bar And the bartender says, "can somebody get that animal out of here?"
    Then the horse says, "Dude, don't be racist."
  • An elephant walks into a bar... And the bartender calls animal control and everything works out for everyone.
  • A cat sauntered in and sat at the bar. "Tuna", ordered the cat. "Salad or sandwich?" Asked The bartender. "What do you think I am a human?"
  • A horse goes into an Irish Pub and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
  • A giraffe walks into a bar and lies on the floor. The bartender says, "Whats that a lyin' on the floor?" Another bargoer replies, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here." The duck says, "I'll pay you $20." "Your money isn't good here." "Then put it on my bill."

Bartender Tip Jokes

Here is a list of funny bartender tip jokes and even better bartender tip puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Ok what's the difference between the Titantic and California? At least the lights were on when the Titanic sank.
    Thank you, tip your bartenders ladies and gents…..
  • A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun... and fires it just missing the man. The man says thanks, leaves a tip, and walks out.
    He had the hiccups
  • Why don't women tip bartenders? They don't give a tip because they take the tip.

Female Bartender Jokes

Here is a list of funny female bartender jokes and even better female bartender puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A dumb billionaire walks into a bar and orders a pint. The female bartender notices how attractive he is and slips him her number on a tissue. " Preposterous! I could get laid for this much!"
Bartender joke, A dumb billionaire walks into a bar and orders a pint. The female bartender notices how attractive h

Entertaining Bartender Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about bartender you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bar patron jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bartender prank.

Me: What's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

A Russian spy, a s**... predator and a billionaire walk into a bar

Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar

and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.

An infinite number of people walk into a bar...

The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...
The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

An underage weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."
The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"
The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.

A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.

He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"

A man walks into a bar and says I'm here to drink my troubles away!

Well you've come to the right place. says the bartender, What'll it be?
The man replies One water please
Just a water??
Yeah, I have kidney stones.

A s**... predator, a racist and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"

A bear walks in to a bar and says, I'll have a gin and..........tonic. The bartender asks, Why the big pause? The bear looks down for a second and says, I don't know,

I guess I was just born this way.

A Guy walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

A cat walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The cat says, "A shot of r**...."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."

a Scottish man walks into a bar in canada

He noticed there is an animal's head hanging on the wall and asked the bartender what is it
"A moose" replied the bartender
"Jesus christ! How big are the cats here?" Said the scot

A duck walks into a bar

He walks up to the bartender and asks
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No, and if you ask again, I'll nail your beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"

A horse walks into a bar...

and orders a beer.
As the bartender serves him, he looks at the horse and says "hey, why the long face, pal? Are you depressed?"
The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" - and promptly disappears.
See, this is a joke about Rene Descartes' famous statement, "I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned this at the start of the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A new law

Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."

A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.

The guy asks "what's this about?". the bartender replies, "well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You want to have a go?" The guy replies, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."

Guy goes into a bar

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "Only 75 cents."

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The bartender says, " you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic? " The horse says, "I don't think I am, " and promptly vanishes from existence.
See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous philosophical statement, " I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned that at the beginning, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

A man takes a stool at the bar and orders a drink. Then he asks the man to the right of him…

How tall is a Penguin, this tall?
No, they're much shorter than that , he answers.
He looks to the man at his left- How tall is a penguin, this tall?
Nowhere near that tall! , says the other man.
The man puts his head in his hands.
The bartender, witnessing all of this asks the man Everything okay, Sir?
The man responds No, I just ran over a Nun .

A man walks in a bar and shouts free beers outside! So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement.

The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man what the h**... did you do that for? Now i have no customers!!
The man says Sorry mister, i honestly didnt fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them

A man walks in a bar and says: 'I'd like 7 double wiskeys, please.'

The bartender nods and starts pouring 7 glasses of wiskey.
As soon as the first glass is ready the man starts chugging, one glass after another.
The bartender, dumbfounded, asks the man: 'Why are you drinking so fast?'
The man awnsers: 'well, you would do the same as me, if you had what I have,' while chugging the last glass of wiskey.
'So, what is it that you have?' asks the bartender.
The man: 'not a single penny'

A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking.

In self-defense the man says, Who told you that drinking is bad?
Nun : "Mother Superior told me."
Man : "So, have you ever tried it?"
Nun : "No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor."
Man : "Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. I'll tell you what if you try it and don't like it, I'll give up drinking for life."
Nun : "Okay but bring it in a tea cup. I don't want people thinking I'm drinking."
The man goes up to the bartender and says, Bring me a couple of shots of v**... but bring one of them in a tea cup.
The bartender looked at the man and said, Is that nun in here again?

A man walks into a bar and it's empty – it's just him and the bartender.

He sits down and orders a drink.
After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, Pssst… I like your tie.
The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.
Pssst… that color looks nice on you.
He asks the bartender, Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts… they're complimentary.

Two fat ladies walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

A horse walks into a bar.......

The bartender asks "hey, why the long face? Are you depressed?"
The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" and promptly disappears.
You see, this is a joke about Rene Descartes' famous statement "I think, therefore I am" and I could have mentioned this at the start of the joke, but *that would be putting Descartes before the horse*.

Guy races into a bar looking very flustered and says to the bartender "Quick, give me a shot of your finest Scotch before the trouble starts"

The guy downs the scotch in a single gulp and glancing nervously towards the doors says **"Quick, give me another shot of you finest Scotch before the trouble starts"**
The guy downs that Scotch too and says, ***"Quick, another shot before the trouble starts".*** The barman pauses and says ***"Ok but I need you to pay for the other shots first"***
The guy looks the barman in the eye and says ***"It looks like the trouble has started"******.***

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.
"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".
"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"
The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.
"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

A beautiful woman walks into a bar. "What'll it be?" asks the bartender. "I'll have a double entendre," she said...

So he gave it to her.

Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

A bear walks into a bar.

The bartender asks whata ya have there big fella? The bear says " Give me a .........................................................beer." The bartender says" What's with the big pause?" The bear throws his arms up in the air and says " I DON'T KNOW I WAS BORN WITH THEM."

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" p**...! The horse disappears.

A bear goes into a bar

he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer
bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar.....

The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".

A horse walks into a bar...

"Why the long face?" asks the bartender...
The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from s**... in the City."

Small Head

A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had s**... with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have s**... with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"

I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7.

The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.

A guy walks into a bar...

He sees 2 steaks nailed to the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "What's up with those two steaks?"
The bartender replies,
"if you can jump up and take those two steaks from the ceiling, I'll give you $1,000,000, if not, I'll cut your arms off."
The guy then replies,
"I won't do it, the stakes are too high."

A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill

The bartender looks confused and tells the man he didn't order anything.
The man says I know, but I own the zoo down the street. I heard about the time a grizzly bear, elephant, monkey, tiger, alligator,... walked into a bar. I'm here to pay for the damages.

This is an old joke but my husband told me to never tell it again!

3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a b**... Mary. The second orders a b**... Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks a b**... Mary?
The vampire shakes his head. Hot water for me
Hot water?
I found a t**... out back and want to make tea

Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"
Bartender: "Water."
Ramsay: "Fresh?"
Bartender: "No, frozen."
Ramsay: "Oh for f**...'s sake."

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.
The bartender asks Why is he called Tiny?
And the man replies Because he's my newt!

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...

My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!
What makes you say that? the bartender inquired.
Last week, Bill explained, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she'd run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!'

A drunk walks up to two priests...

A drunk walks up to two priests...
He says "I'm Jesus Christ."
The priest shakes his head. "No son, you're not."
The drunk goes up to the second priest. "I'm Jesus Christ."
The second priest gives the same answer.
The drunk glares at them for a second. "Look I can prove it. Follow me." ....
He leads them to a bar and walks inside.
The bartender takes one look at him and says, "Jesus Christ, you're here AGAIN?!"

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the s**... bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"

A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.

I don't think I am. the horse replies.
*p**...*
The horse disappears.
This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .
But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests.

He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says "no son you're not." The drunk turns to the other priest, "I'm jesus Christ" to which the second priest replies "no son you're not." So the drunk says "Look I'll show you." So he walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says "Jesus Christ you're here again?"

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar

The first orders a pint of beer. The second half a pint, the third a quarter ad infinitum. The bartender just pours two pints and says "sort it out yourselves."

Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face?

Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.

He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."

A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.

Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.

A man walks into a bar

and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what the deal was about:
"Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answers:
"Nah, the stakes are too high."

A guy walks into a bar, and orders a round. He hears a small voice say..

"You look nice today."
A few minutes later, it's that voice again, "That's a nice shirt."
The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?"
Says the bartender, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

A horse walks into a bar.

Hey," says the bartender.
The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!"

Three logicians walk into a bar..

The bartender asks, "would all three of you like some beer?"
The first one replies,"I don't know"
The second one replies, "I don't know either"
The third replies, "Yes all three of us would like a beer"

At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.'

The poor bartender was crushed to death.

Wine

A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."

So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the a**..., and walks in to have a stiff drink.

The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the a**... before coming in? You got s**... all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests...

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...
But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!

A girl walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me a double entendre"

So he gave it to her.

Recently got a second job as a bartender at a s**....

Ive never worked so hard before in my life.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic?
The horse says I don't think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence.
See this was a joke about Descarte's famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Russell Crowe & Sheryl Crow walk into a bar…

The bartender calls 911, "I need to report an attempted m**...!"

A Roman walks into a bar..

..and asks for a dry martinus.
"Surely you mean a martini," asks the bartender.
"If I want a double I'll ask for it, you plebeian s**...," replies the roman.

Bartender joke, A Roman walks into a bar..

jokes about bartender

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bartender jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.