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Bart Jokes

106 bart jokes and hilarious bart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is about the history and legacy of the classic Bart jokes from the beloved Simpsons character. Read to learn about the iconic catchphrases, name changes, and backstory, as well as the impact Bart's jokes have had since their debut.

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Popular Bart Short Jokes

Short bart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bart humour may include short marge jokes also.

  1. Doctor, doctor, I think my hearing's going! What are the symptoms?
    Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie
  2. What's the difference between Moe and Sideshow Bob? Ones the bartender, the others the Bart ender.
  3. Doctor, my hearing is getting worse... - Can you explain the symtoms?
    - Well, Homer is fat, bald and ugly; Bart is...
  4. If Moe the bartender ever figures out who was prank calling him he'd go from Bar Tender to Bart Ender
  5. Apple is developing a product—invented by Bart Simpson—that cleans your vehicle. The iCaroomba
  6. What's the difference between Sideshow Bob and a waiter? One's a bartender and one's a bart ender.
  7. I'm a dad. Here's my joke: Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub? Because there's a BartEnder there.
  8. I had it rough growing up. No friends, at all... It was just me and Black Bart,
    My imaginary enemy.
  9. Bart: 'I'll cut you a deal, I'll give you Milhouse.' Skinner: 'I don't want Milhouse.'
    Milhouse: 'Sounds like my parents' custody hearing.'
  10. What do you call it when Homer stands directly in front of his son? Total Eclipse Of The Bart

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Bart One Liners

Which bart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bart? I can suggest the ones about comedic and committee.

  1. Bart went into a bar and died. He met the Bartender
  2. A man named Bart walks into a bar. He was promptly murdered by the bartender.
  3. I want to be a bartender Watch out Bart.
  4. Who killed Bart? The bartender
  5. Why do people named Bart avoid pubs? They're all scared of the bartender.
  6. A man named Bart walks into a bar The bartender shoots him immediately
  7. I want to be a bartender. Men named Bart watch out
  8. Why does Sideshow Bob look up to Moe? Because Bob also wants to be a Bart-Ender.
  9. Do you know why Moe and Bart never got along? It's because Moe was a Bart-ender
  10. What did they call it when Bart Simpson met Steve Jobs? iCaramba
  11. Why does Moe syzlak from the Simpsons, hate Bart Simpsons? Cause he is a bartender
  12. What did Bart Simpson say to Damien Hirst? Don't halve a cow, man.
  13. What would Sideshow Bob be if he served drinks? A Bart-ender!
  14. A Blind Man walks into a BART Train lol, no he's just at a Homeless shelter.
  15. What did Bart Simpson say when Marge asked him to vacuum his room? Ay caROOMBA!

Bart Simpson Jokes

Here is a list of funny bart simpson jokes and even better bart simpson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's Homer Simpsons favourite toy? Bart.
  • What is Bart Simpsons' favorite kind of fish? Stealhead!
  • What would Bart Simpson's first Steam game be? D'oh-ta 2
Bart joke, What would Bart Simpson's first Steam game be?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bart can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bart puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Charming Humor Bart Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about bart you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean vocal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bart prank.

Why do bartenders from Boston confiscate an intoxicated person's Khaki's at the end of the night?

So they can't drive home.

So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the "Hurricane Sandy"...

Essentially, it's a just a watered-down Manhattan.

The bartender says "we don't serve particles that disrupt time flow!"

A tachyon particle walks into a bar.......

What did the bartender say to the angry speaker?

We don't want any treble

What did the bartender say to the f**...?

"You're cut off."

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

"AU, get outta here!"

Bartender asks a returning guest...

You come in everyday for the past 10 years paying for the same drink with 4 quarters. Why? The guest responds with, "I don't like change!"

How do you barter with a Jew?

Why did the bartender get fired?

He was doing a pour job

Bartender and His Customers

A neurosurgeon, two Cubans, a fascist, a socialist, and a prisoner all walk into a bar together.
The bartender asks, "What's new?"
They all reply, "I'm running for president."

A bartender walks into...

...a church, a temple and a mosque.
He has no idea how jokes work.

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking?

It was making him Moody

Why did the bartender put on a sweater?

She thought it was a little drafty.

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his v**... to fast?

Stop "Russian"

A bartender walks into a church, a brothel and the zoo...

Trying to find the freaks that skipped out on their bar tabs.

A Bartender Says, "We Don't Serve Time Travelers"

A time traveler enters the bar.

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't make that here."

Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar.
He gets up and leaves.
He takes a seat and orders a Polynesian Pearl Diver.

The Bartender replies, "Sorry, but we don't serve particles faster than light"

A Neutrino walks into a bar

A bartender says "Hey! We don't serve faster-than-light particles here!"

A tachyon flies into a bar.

A bartender walks into a stable

The horse says "Why the wrong place?"

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind around here!"

A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar.

I'm a bartender and part-time therapist.

There are far too many depressed alcoholics in my town.

The bartender said, "Haven't you been here before?"

A time traveler walked into a bar.

The bartender says, We don't serve time travelers in here.

"Since when?"
"The policy went into effect a year ago."
"OK, be right back"

"Sorry," says the bartender, "I've run out of jokes. Besides, haven't you got this backwards?"

A punchline walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve puns here."

"Woah," the puns says, "this place is no joke"

What did the bartender say when Charles Dickens ordered a martini?

Olive or twist?

Why did the bartender only charge his customer for the v**... in his screwdriver?

Because as of yesterday, OJ is free.

A bartender is serving drinks one night when a farmer comes in asking for a fork.

A while later another farmer comes in asking for another fork. After a little while longer a third farmer comes in asking for a straw.
Perplexed the bartender asks the farmer "why are you asking for a straw the other farmers asked for a fork"
To which the farmer responds "well someone threw up outside and all the lumpy bits are gone"
Heard this when I was a kid and still remember it

Bartering with Beer

Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store. I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.

With her bra-less self almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a s**... voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fellow,
would you be interested in trading s**... for beer?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"Depends on what kind of beer you've got!"

What did the bartender say to the villiage drunk?

I can't remember, I was totally wasted.

The bartender says 'Sorry, no time travel allowed in here!'

The Doctor walks into a bar.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend,

but he kept asking her for another shot.

The bartender says: "I'm sorry, but we don't serve FTL particles."

A tachyon walks into a bar.

A bartender looks around his establishment and spots 2 Corinthians out of the corner of his eye...

He then shouts "HEY! WHERE THE f**...'S THE REST OF MY BIBLE!?"

The bartender said we don't serve time travellers.

Two men walk into a bar.

A bartender walks into a bar

and says, I wonder what I'll see walk in today.

I saw the bartender pull a beer from a lever in the shape of a helix.

I asked him what beer that was and he said, "This is Spiral Tap."

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve mojitos here."

The disappointed mojito gets up and walks out of the bar.

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking his polyjuice potion?

Because it was making him moody.

What did the bartender say to the ham sandwich?

Sorry, we don't serve food here.

The bartender gives him a beer.

A time traveler walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

The Bartender said: "Sorry we dont allow time travelers here"

A time traveler walks into a bar

The bartender asks "Why the non-linear structure?"

Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar

A bartender walks into a bar.

He's ready for the day to begin!

My bartender asked me if I wanted my whiskey without ice.

I said "Sure. That'd be neat."

The bartender pours him a beer

A time traveler walks into the bar

What did the bartender say to Einstein when he walked in the bar at the speed of light?

Why the short face.....

A bartender walks into a joke writers convention.

No joke.

The bartender pours him a beer

A man who can move faster than the speed of light walks into a bar.

Tom Collins practical joke

A man would approach someone on the street and ask: "Have you seen Tom Collins?"
The stranger would say soemthing like: "No. I've never met him."
"Perhaps you had better do so because Tom's calling you names and telling people that you're a b**... thief."
This would upset the second man, who would run off trying to look for Tom Collins. But he didn't exist.

What did the bartender say to the scrap lumber?

Your cutoff

A bartender said "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers".

Two time travellers walk into a bar

And the bartender says we don't serve your kind in here"

A time traveler walks into a bar

The bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light-particles in here.

A tachyon walks into a bar.

Bartender joke

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender,
12 shots of your finest tequila please
So the bartender starts pouring the shots and on the last one he notices that half of them have been drunk already so the bartender says
Whats going on pal, you drunk those really fast
The guy replies
Youd drink this much if you had what i have
The bartender then asks
What do you have?
He replied i have 50 pence and then made a bee line for the door

What did Homer say to Bart when he couldn't please his uninterested crush?

You're a s**..., son.

(Of course it's bad. I just wanted to get this s**... out of my system.)

I'm a bartender

Guy: One Mojito please

Me: Sure

Guy: Can you make it v**...?

Me (Holding back tear): Yes... yes I can

A bartender walks into a bar

He works there.

A bartender yells Does anyone know cpr?

h**... I know the whole alphabet! I shouted.
The whole bar laughed except for o**...

So the bartender asked, why do you have a time machine?

A time traveller walks into a bar.

The bartender says "No time travelers allowed in this bar"

Two time travelers walk into a bar

Why wouldn't the bartender give a ghost a drink?

Because they didn't serve spirits.

A bartstarter walks into a bar.

The bartender is concerned.

So the bartender offered me a Mountain Dew and then pointed gun at me saying drink or I'll pull the trigger

It was a Dew or Die situation

Bartender: this scotch is my favorite, it's aged twenty fi----

Leonardo DiCaprio: [spits it out]

Bart joke, Bartender: this scotch is my favorite, it's aged twenty fi----

jokes about bart

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bart jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.