The Best 6 Barney Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Barney jokes. There are some barney lois jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these barney squarepants puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Barney Jokes and Puns

What did Fred Flintstone say when Barney asked if he wanted to get high?

Yeah, a dab will do.

a man was in a party with his friend barney

he asked his friend: "how do you get women to like you so much?"

barney replied: "i have a trick, every time i meet them i squeeze them on the butt, it has some kind of pavlovian effect or something but it always works"

the man then went home, him and his wife haven't had sex for a couple of months now so he thought he should try this trick.

his wife was in the kitchen, he approached her from behind and squeezed her ass

his wife replied: "oh barney is that you?"

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single.

The only married person was Otis, & he was the town drunk.

Michigan Lawyer: "Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?"

Barney: "No sir. I ain't got no money, but I do get a 1928 Ford Car!"

Lawyer: "Well you can raise money on that. Now let's see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?"

Barney: "A 1928 Ford Car."

Why Mayberry RFD was such a pleasant place

Just think of how idyllic and peaceful the whole community was.

What did the main characters all have in common? Sheriff Andy, Barney, Opie, Gomer, Floyd the barber, Helen, Clara Jean, Aunt Bea, Goober, Harold......they were all SINGLE.

The only married character was Otis, and he was drunk all the time!


Flintstoners

Barney asked his buddy Fred, "How strong is his weed?"
Fred replied "just a dab, and see how it does ya'."
Barney, "Just a dab?"

Fred, "Yeah, a dab will do ya'."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the barney bart jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working barney freddie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes