The Best 12 Barmaid Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Barmaid jokes. There are some barmaid barkeeper jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these barmaid handjobs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Barmaid Jokes and Puns

A man walks into a bar....

...sits down, orders a beer, and begins to gaze longingly at the barmaid. The barmaid hands him the beer, returns the stare and says...

"Take a pitcher, it'll last longer."

Guy walks into a bar...

There's a sign that says: Cheeseburgers - $1.50, Chicken Sandwich - $2.50, Hand Job - $10.00. He walks up to a very attractive barmaid and ask "Hey, are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purred, "I am." He looked her straight in the eye and said "Well, go wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

A barmaid named gail

There once was a barmaid named Gail

On her chest was tattooed the prices of ale.

And on her behind,

For the sake of the blind,

Was the same thing written, in braille.

Barmaid joke, A barmaid named gail

A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar

'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid.

'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.'

I'm not Deaf

I shouted to the barmaid, Two pints of lager please.
She said, I'm not deaf.
I said, Sorry, I noticed your wedding ring and the black eye. I presumed you had a problem listening.


Three vampires enter a dim bar in Kent.

The barmaid asksย "What'll you have gentlemen?"

Flashing his best spooky grin, the first vampire saysย "I'll have a glass of blood"ย ย When she asks second vampire, he says,"Glass of blood please"ย ย She looks at the third vampire and he smirks and says,ย "I'll take a glass of plasma"

She shrugs and yells down the barย ย "Two bloods and a blood lite".ย 

How can you tell when the barmaid is not happy with you?

There is a string hanging out of your bloody mary.

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and sits down at the counter.
'What would you like to drink sir?' asked the barmaid.
'I dunno', said the man.
'Okay. How about whisky?' she asked.
'Nah', replied the man.
'Gin?'
'No'
'Vodka?'
'Don't make me laugh'
'Rum?'
'Nope'
'Tequila?'
'Pass'
'Brandy?'
'Now that's the spirit!'

A bear walks into a bar...

First thing he does is gobble up the barmaid. Then he orders a beer. Bartender says sorry, we don't serve bears on drugs. The bear protests but the bartender says hey, that was the barbitchyouate.

A Limerick

There once was a barmaid in Salles,
On her chest wrote the price of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

A man asked a barmaid for a double entendre...

So she gave him one

You can explore barmaid pub reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean barmaid bartend dad jokes. There are also barmaid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There was a young barmaid from Yale..

On whose bust was written the prices of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was exactly the same, but in braille.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the barmaid sits jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working barmaid sips piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes