The Best 18 Barkeeper Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Barkeeper jokes. There are some barkeeper waiter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these barkeeper bartended puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Barkeeper Jokes and Puns

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.

The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.

See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.

Chemists in a pub

After a long day, two chemists, Bill and Bob, go to a pub to unwind. Bob says to the barkeeper, "I'll just have a glass of H^2 0." Bill chimes in, "I'll have a glass of water too". They take a seat as he asks Bob, "Why did you refer to water with its chemical composition?" Bob did not answer, fuming that his assassination attempt had failed.

Renes Descartes goes into a bar

The barkeeper asks him: "You want a beer?"

Descartes agrees and after that he drinks many more.

Later when he is quite drunk he grabs his keys and moves towards his car.

The barkeeper stops him from entering the car and asks him: "Do you really think, driving your state is a good idea?"

Descartes replies: "Yeah, you're right. I don't think..." and abruptly stops existing.

Barkeeper joke, Renes Descartes goes into a bar

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a drink...

The barkeeper doesn't know what to do, so he goes to his boss. The boss never had a gorilla in his bar and he doesn't want his bar to becoma a favorite place for gorillas but on the other hand, he doesn't want to make the gorilla angry. So he says to the barkeeper: Serve him but charge him $30. Maybe he leaves then . The barkeeper does this and charges the gorilla $30. Then the barkeeper says: We rarely have a gorilla in our bar . And the gorilla says: No wonder with the prices here .

A kangaroo walks into a bar

And orders an espresso martini.
While the Barkeeper serves the drink to the kangaroo another customer remarks:
"don't you find it weird that a kangaroo walks into a bar and orders an espresso martini?"

"Yes, normally he wants ginger beer."


A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink called "Innuendo".

So the barkeeper gives it to her.

A man sits at a bar crying

The barkeeper asks him: "Why are you crying?"
He answers:"My wife and I had an argue and she said she won't talk to me again for a whole year."
"That's terrible", the barkeeper replied.
The Man:"Worse, the year is over today!"

Barkeeper joke, A man sits at a bar crying

A woman sits in a bar and orders a cocktail named "Double EntΓ©ndre"

So the barkeeper gives it to her.

A duck walks into a bar.

A duck walks into a bar.

It asks the barkeeper: Do you have bread?

Bartender: No.

Duck: Do you have bread?
-
Bartender: NO!
-
Duck: Do you…

Bartender: LISTEN! I HAVE NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT WALL!!!

Duck: Do you have nails?

Bartender: NO!

Duck: Do you have bread?

A Space Marine walks into a bar.

He says to the grizzled, portly barkeeper, "Bring me two beers." Seeing that he is alone, the barkeep asks him 'Why two?' The Space Marine chuckles and replies, "Simple, my friend. One for me, and one FOR THE EMPEROR!"

A pirate walks into a bar..

So, this pirate walks into a bar to have a drink.
The barkeeper looks at him and says: "Sir, do you know that you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"
>Says the pirate: "Ayy, it's driving me nuts!"

You can explore barkeeper patron reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean barkeeper drunk dad jokes. There are also barkeeper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two Germans in London

Two Germans wanted to visit London just a few months after the second world war. Because they are afraid that people will judge them for being German they decide to pretend like they are Englishmen.
After a long day of site-seeing they walk into a pub to have a drink.
They walk up to the bar and ask the barkeeper in perfect English:
"Could we have two sherries please?"
The bar keeper responds:"Dry?"
"NEIN ZWEI!!!"

Barkeeper: Do you want a beer for your wife?

Me: Sounds like a fair trade!

A horse walks into a bar...

The Barkeeper asks:"hey dude, why the long face?"

The horse has cancer.

A dwarf with a frog on the head walks into a bar...

The barkeeper asks: "That looks funny, what happened to you?"
The frog replies: "I don't know, I must have stepped into something."

A Pikachu walks out of a bar...

and the barkeeper yells "Bye, catch you later!".

Barkeeper joke, A Pikachu walks out of a bar...

why did the barkeeper kill Homer Simpson's son?

because he was a bartender

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking

As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.

As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"

"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion -- it's a giraffe."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the barkeeper mixologist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working barkeeper scruffy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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