Barista Jokes

92 barista jokes and hilarious barista puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about barista that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your morning coffee run extra fun with these top-rated barista jokes! Enjoy a good laugh over the creamer, the mixologist, and the starbucks barista. Have a little flirt and some fun with the barmen - it's sure to put a smile on your face and start your day off with a smile on your face. Find out why these barista jokes and coffee puns are bringing some extra warmth and flavor to the already-delicious world of coffee.

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Funniest Barista Short Jokes

Short barista jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The barista humour may include short barkeeper jokes also.

  1. Just been in to starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
    She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
  2. Coughy Filter Joke The barista at Starbucks was wearing a face mask.
    Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
    She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.
  3. This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee. I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".
    I didn't bother leaving a tip.
  4. Don't you just hate it when med students call themselves doctors? I mean you don't see engineering students calling themselves engineers or arts students calling themselves baristas
  5. A Canadian walks into a cafe, and the barista asks, "Would you like a latte?" And the Canadian responds to him "Nah, just a bit, eh."
  6. I noticed a barista working alone in a small shop was still wearing a mask. She said, "this is a coughy filter"
  7. I stopped at a coffee shop in Glasgow When I approached the barista, I ordered a latte with oat milk.
    Stunned and confused, the barista tells me, we cannae make a latte withoat milk
  8. Why did the hipster get burned when he drank his coffee? The barista make a joke about sleeping with his mother.
  9. I made a Starbucks barista cry I put my name down as Dad and he stood there calling it over and over again with no reply.
  10. I hired a guy to represent me in court today. He was very cheap and brought me the best cup of coffee. Unfortunately we lost the case.
    He told me next time hire a barrister and not a barista.

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Barista One Liners

Which barista one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with barista? I can suggest the ones about hipster coffee and coffee shop.

  1. Why is it impossible to electrocute a barista? Coffee grounds.
  2. What do you call a gay barista? A Coffee Grindr.
  3. What does a barista wear? A cap and chinos.
  4. What did the Jew barista do? Hebrew coffee
  5. What do you call male and female Jewish baristas? Hebrews and Shebrews.
  6. What is it called when baristas try to unionize? Grounds for termination
  7. What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common? Baristas
  8. The Starbucks in my town just hired a Jewish barista... He brews.
  9. Did you hear about the Israeli barista? He brews
  10. Did you hear about the barista that ran the comedy club? Every night was a real brouhaha!
  11. Hello, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. He's a Jewish Barista. Hebrew.
  12. Why's it so hard to make it as a barista? it's a latte of work!
  13. It's hard to argue with a barista. They know how to hold their ground.
  14. Did you hear about the jewish barista? Hebrew.
  15. Why did the barista get fired? He had his job down to a tea

Barista Coffee Jokes

Here is a list of funny barista coffee jokes and even better barista coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A barista was accused of stealing coffee beans by his boss. However, when they looked into the case, they found that there were no grounds to press charges.
  • When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop. He was known as the pasta barista baby.
  • What's the difference between a barista and a barrister? One serves iced coffee and the other one serves just ice
  • An Italian man with spells of amnesia goes into a boutique coffee shop... The barista asked what he wants, and he replies "Affogato".
  • what's the difference between the queen of England and a cat that makes coffee? One's an Aristocrat
    The other's a Barista-Cat
  • the barista at my coffee shop talked me into trying a funky new coffee. I took a drink and told her it tasted like dirt and she said, "well that's cuz it's fresh ground."
  • A camel Goes into the coffee shop The barista, about to add the sugar asks, "one lump or two?"
  • So an Australian walks ito a cafe and orders coffe The barista says want any creamer
    The Australian replies Just coffee, mate
  • Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on. The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."
  • A man was in a cafe He took one sip of the coffee, and grimaced.
    Walking to the barista, he asked why it tasted so bad.
    The barista shrugged, and told him "well, it was ground this morning!"

Starbucks Barista Jokes

Here is a list of funny starbucks barista jokes and even better starbucks barista puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I went into a Starbucks earlier and asked the barista why they were wearing a surgical mask. They replied: "I'm not, it's a coughy filter"
  • I tried washing my coffee maker today Now I'm no longer allowed in Starbucks unless the barista has the restraining order removed.
  • My Starbucks barista thinks he's so smart just because he has a PhD in humanities.
  • Before Chance was involved in music he was a barista at Starbucks for 5 years Chance the Frapper
  • Tall blonde Starbucks barista: hello! What would you like today?
    A tall blonde please.
    I'm so sorry we're out of blonde roast today.
    Can I get a tall brunette instead?
  • What do baristas in space get paid with? Starbucks
  • How do you get your Starbucks in less than a minute? Tell the barista your name is 'Fire'. When they call your name, everyone will run outside quickly.
  • Well, just told the Starbucks barista my name is "No War in Syria". I know it's not much, but I hope it helps.
  • What request does a Starbucks barista find most difficult to fulfil? A Tall order.
  • I heard some guy who works at my local Starbucks is now a wrestler His finisher is the Barista Bomb
Barista joke, I heard some guy who works at my local Starbucks is now a wrestler

Barista joke, I heard some guy who works at my local Starbucks is now a wrestler

Fun-Filled Barista Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about barista you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean java coffee jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make barista pranks.

A man walks into a coffee shop...

A man walks into a coffee shop and asks
"I'll have a ztsherkmflurgchtrokzykk with two sugars."
Surprised, the barista answers:
"A ztsherkmflurgchtrokzykk with two *what*?!"

My grandma got a hip replacement

My new grandma is a 24 year old barista and an aspiring artist.

Heard a coffee barista say "I just wolverine'd this cappuccino."

Everyone looked at him confused. He continued, "I ruined its origin story," before pouring it out to make another.

How do you take your coffee?

**Barista:** How do you take your coffee?
**Customer:** Ferguson Police
**Barista:** Huh?
**Customer:** Black, two shots.

A man orders a coffee without milk.

The barista replies, "I'm sorry, we're out of milk. Can I get you a coffee without cream instead?"

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a phd in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

I stopped off to get some coffee on the way in to work today

I took a sip after paying and walking away from the counter, it tasted terrible.
I turned around and told the barista "hey, this coffee tastes like mud".
She replied "well it should, it was just ground this morning".

I decided to go to a coffee shop today

The barista behind the counter said that I should try a new but expensive brew of coffee. It was $9 but I decided to try it. I took a sip of the beverage, and almost instantly spat it out.
"Wha... This tastes like mud!" I shouted at the barista.
He turned and smiled. "It should. It was fresh ground this morning!"

Did you hear about the barista who became really buff?

She's been working on her French Press.

What did the Italian barista say when he received a new car for his christmas bonus?

It's a merry car, no?

What language does a barista speak?


I went to Ireland's Titanic Exhibit and requested a glass of water.

The barista asked me if I wanted ice with that.
Unsettled, I whispered: "...Is that safe here?"
We're miles apart now, but I'll always appreciate my time there, because if it wasn't for her subsequent laughter, I'd have never known how great I was at ice breakers.

I think the weirdest thing about being dyslexic

Is the look the barista gives you when you add to the spit jar. Like I'm not the one who put it there, Kenlynn, chill out.

Bert Kreischer coffee black joke

Starbucks Barista - How would you like your coffee?
ME - Handcuffed for nothing & taken to jail.
(I like my coffee like I like my men. Black and wrongly accused based only on that.)

A group of horses walks into a juice bar...

"What'll it be for ya?"
The first horse replies "wheat grass"
The barista says "that's not on the menu"
The second says "wheat grass, it's on the board"
The barista: of course you eat grass, you're horses. But I'm telling you we don't serve grass."
Sensing some confusion a third horse approaches. "Hey..." he says

My grandma just walked into my room with a young barista wearing thick rimmed glasses.

I said, Who is that?
Grandma: That's my hip replacement.

A man walks into a coffee shop

And orders a shot of espresso with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. When he receives his order, he's dismayed to find only a shot of espresso.
"Hey!" he asks the barista, "why didn't you add the ice cream?"
"Sorry sir" he says, "affagato."

What does a barista, a stripper and a middle aged office worker have in common?

When they return to work, they all say "Well, back to the grind."

Jesus walks up to his favorite Starbucks' counter and politely asks for a grande macchiato.

The barista, puzzled, inquires, Why the new order?
I've been stuck on a tall Pike for a while.
(An original by me.)

So a man walks into a coffee house late in the afternoon and asks for a tall drink with 4 shots of espresso and the rest filled with milk.

The barista looks at him lightly concerned and she says,
Are you sure sir? That's a latte coffee.

A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks

They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista what's your mildest roast? The barista thinks about it for a moment and says you have mediocre ears.

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and shouts:"Get me the best whiskey you have!".
The Barista does as told and the man drinks the whole glass in a few seconds.
"Wow! I haven't seen anyone drink so fast before!"
"Well, you'd drink as fast as me if you had what I have"
"And what is it you have?"

Give me your best/worst jokes.

There is a really cute blonde barista at the coffee shop I go to, I already told her the two best I have. Please send me your best or worst. Dad jokes are extra appreciated.
//actual joke I told her//
Did you hear the big science news? They discovered a new element. It has elemental symbol AH.
They are calling it The Element of Surprise.

My wife thought it would be fun if we each have a list of 3 people that would be OK to sleep with if given the chance.

**Her list:** Paul Rudd, Adam Levine, and Channing Tatum
**My list:** Her best friend Stephanie, that barista at our coffee shop, and my ex girlfriend

i was in Jerusalem for a holiday

Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.
From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.
Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:

Barista joke, A barista was accused of stealing coffee beans by his boss.

jokes about barista