Bargain Jokes

Following is our collection of dfs humor and pact one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bargain puns for adults, dirty free jokes or clean buick gags for kids.

There is an abundance of buyer jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 27 funniest jokes on bargain. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any price witze you can hear about bargain.

The Best jokes about Bargain

A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral listening to the eulogies being read...

A man in the pew behind her leans forward to ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
No, not at all, she replies.
The man stands and clears his throat.
Bargain", he says, and sits back down.
"Thank you", the woman responds, "it means a great deal."

I was looking for a new apartment...

and found a nice place in the center of town that seemed ideal.

"It's only $650 a month," the women told me. "But no children or pets."

I had to turn it down. It was a bargain but I wasn't willing to give up my sex life.

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave."

A woman is sitting at her husbands funeral listening to the eulogies

She turned to the man next to her and asked if he would say a few words.

Certainly , he says and walks up to the mic

A few words the man says before sitting back down

That's exactly what I needed to hear says the woman.

A man sitting behind her leans forward and asks, Do you mind if I say a word?

Not at all she replies

He stands, walks forward and clears his throat.

Bargain he says before returning to his seat

Thanks , says the woman, that means a great deal

Another man then takes the mic and simply says many .

Thank you, that means a lot says the woman

The ultimate bargain.

The Devil tells a salesman, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman that ever lived."

"Well," says the salesman, "what do I have to do in return?" The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."

"Wait a minute," the salesman says cautiously, "What's the catch?"


A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: haircut and new color, new outfit and big sunglasses, and then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

A Scottish Sargent knocks on a whore-house door.

When the madam answers he says "Excuse me madam. But could you tell me how much you would charge for the pleasure of my company?"
The madam gives her price and they negotiate back and forth until they come to a bargain. Once the reach agreement the Sargent says "That sounds like a fair price."

Then he turns, gestures behind himself and yells "OK lads. We have a deal. Company Ho!"

Purebred Police Dog

A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred police dog $25."

Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.

The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad.

"How dare you call that mangy mutt a purebred police dog?" she yelled.

"Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He works undercover."

Electrons love a bargain

An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"

Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced".

What do Jews drive?

A hard bargain

My brother recently got a pocket protector

All of his friends laughed at it, but I was amazed. It's such a bargain, because not only does it protect the content of your pockets, but it also protects your virginity.


Shoes are a bargain.

I bought two for the price of one.

I made a bargain when building my new home.

The slater just told me that the roof is on the house.

LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach; it isn't any different than the bargain brand

They taste exactly the same

The other day I saw a sign that said "watch for cars"

Now that's a bargain if I ever saw one.

I'll never forget what my Dad told me before he bought the farm.

"Wow, what a bargain!"

Dad, am I more black or more Persian?

Dad: Why do you ask?

Son: There a kid at school selling his bike. Should I bargain or should I steal the bike?.

The only reason a Hillary Clinton presidency would be good for our country

At $0.78 cents to the dollar, she'd be a bargain for our country

Why do male prostitutes make more money than females?

Because they always drive a *Hard* bargain. :D


Found a great bargain at the second hand shop.

Now I just need to buy the rest of the watch.

Bargain Booze is shutting down...

You could say it's gone into liquidation.

I'm not saying Jews are cheap...

but a free shower, what a bargain!

I would pay 5$ to see my girlfriend naked on the street

I don't have a girlfriend, 5$ would be a good bargain

It was a fantastic bargain, but I really should have read the advertisement more carefully

Because I'm not sure what to do with a Clarence.

Why is Black Friday the best time for you to pick up girls?

Because girls are already bargain hunting.

What do you call a free slave?

A bargain

Holiday

Just walked past the Butchers Shop window, sign says Turkey £29. That's a bargain! £150 more at Thomas Cook. (UK only joke)

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes