Bargain Jokes
42 bargain jokes and hilarious bargain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bargain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bargain Short Jokes
Short bargain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bargain humour may include short negotiate jokes also.
- Knock Knock Knock knock.
Who's there?
Door mom.
Door mom who?
Door mom who, I've come to bargain! - Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
- 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ... The 5 stages of buying petrol.
- I recently taught my daughter the definition of bargain She said thanks dad that means a great deal
- Today at the store my brother asked me what a bargain was I said "It means a great deal, actually"
- Electrons love a bargain An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"
Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced". - I can't believe the way they used the Childrens Health Insurance Program during the budget debate... It was like a bargaining CHIP.
- Bargaining A visitor to my market stall was insistent on bargaining. I said "sir, this is America, we don't negotiate with tourists."
- I recently returned from Dubai, where I was given forty camels for my wife. I generally smoke Marlboro, but hey... that seems like a bargain to me.
- I made a bargain when building my new home. The slater just told me that the roof is on the house.
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Bargain One Liners
Which bargain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bargain? I can suggest the ones about deals and discount.
- Denial, anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Saturday, Sunday
- My favourite word in the world is "bargain". It means a great deal to me.
- 2016 Denial 2017 Anger
2018 Bargaining
2019 Depression
2020 Acceptance - Thank you for teaching me what a bargain is. It means a great deal.
- So I bought a tavern... It was a real bar-gain.
- What do Jews drive? A hard bargain
- Shoes are a bargain. I bought two for the price of one.
- My barber gives me really great bargains He takes 90% off
- I'll never forget what my Dad told me before he bought the farm. "Wow, what a bargain!"
- Bargain Booze is shutting down... You could say it's gone into liquidation.
- I'm not saying Jews are cheap... but a free shower, what a bargain!
- A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
- Fidel Castro died on Black Friday... He couldn't handle the bargain prices
- How do you call it when an Irish person goes out for drinks? A bargain
- What do you call two black people bargaining on terms? A Negrotiation
Quirky and Hilarious Bargain Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about bargain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean compromise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bargain pranks.
A woman is sitting at her husband's f**... listening to the eulogies being read...
A man in the pew behind her leans forward to ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
No, not at all, she replies.
The man stands and clears his t**....
Bargain", he says, and sits back down.
"Thank you", the woman responds, "it means a great deal."
A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husbands f**.... She said "Certainly."
He stood up and said "Plethora" , and the woman said "Thanks, that means a lot."
And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal."
Yet another stood up and said, "Earth" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means the world."
Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine."
Yet another stood up and said, "Being Alive" and the woman said, "Thanks, my husband would have loved that."
Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint."
A man walks up to the Widow at a f**... and asks if he can say a word.
"Of course", she replies.
The man plucks up the courage and says, "Bargain".
The Widow looks at him, teary eyed and says,
"Thank you so much, that means a great deal".
I was looking for a new apartment...
and found a nice place in the center of town that seemed ideal.
"It's only $650 a month," the women told me. "But no children or pets."
I had to turn it down. It was a bargain but I wasn't willing to give up my s**... life.
A close friend recently died, and at the f**... I asked if I could say a word
The family agreed and as I stood as the podium, I exhaled, "Bargain".
Teary eyed the family thanked me, they knew it meant a great deal.
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave."
A woman is sitting at her husbands f**... listening to the eulogies
She turned to the man next to her and asked if he would say a few words.
Certainly , he says and walks up to the mic
A few words the man says before sitting back down
That's exactly what I needed to hear says the woman.
A man sitting behind her leans forward and asks, Do you mind if I say a word?
Not at all she replies
He stands, walks forward and clears his t**....
Bargain he says before returning to his seat
Thanks , says the woman, that means a great deal
Another man then takes the mic and simply says many .
Thank you, that means a lot says the woman
A mom tells her son to buy some vegetables
She says to bargain, and try offer the seller half the price
Son: Sir, how much does a bag of vegetable cost?
Seller: 8
Son: I will offer you 4
Seller: What about 6
Son: 3
Seller: Alright, I will sell it for 4
Son: 2
Seller: 3
Son: 1.50
Seller: Kid, you are bargaining too much, I might as well give you a bag for free.
Son: Give me 2 bags
I saw an advert selling a trained police dog for £25 in the local paper, saw a bargain and bought it.
When the current owner brought it round a mangy mutt jumped out their car.
I said 'There's no way that's a Police dog'
The owner replied 'Don't let looks decieve you, he worked undercover'
A man goes to a f**...
A man goes to a f**....
He asks the widow if he may say a word.
The widow nods and says "Of course, please do".
The man clears his t**... and says "Bargain".
The widow sheds a tear, puts her hand on his shoulder and replies "Thanks. That means a great deal."
A Scottish Sargent knocks on a w**...-house door.
When the madam answers he says "Excuse me madam. But could you tell me how much you would charge for the pleasure of my company?"
The madam gives her price and they negotiate back and forth until they come to a bargain. Once the reach agreement the Sargent says "That sounds like a fair price."
Then he turns, gestures behind himself and yells "OK lads. We have a deal. Company h**...!"
When I was road tripping through Maine I saw a shack at the side of the road with a sign saying $2 Lobster tails.
I thought this sounded like a bargain so I stopped, I paid my $2 and the old man at the window says "once upon a time there was this lobster..."
A young man, walking down the street, passes a woman sitting next to a TV with a For Sale sign on it.
Him: Hi, how much for the TV?
Her: One dollar
Him: Only one? Wow that's a bargain!
Her: Yeah, it's cheap because the volume is stuck on maximum
Him: Ah, Ok. So the TV is one dollar because the volume is always right up?
Her: Yep. Do you want it?
Him: Well I guess I can't turn that down!
A woman is sitting at her husband's f**.... A man leans in to her and asks, "do you mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead", the woman replies.
The man stands up, clears his t**..., and says "bargain", and sits back down.
"Thanks", the woman says, "that means a great deal to me".
My brother recently got a pocket protector
All of his friends laughed at it, but I was amazed. It's such a bargain, because not only does it protect the content of your pockets, but it also protects your virginity.