Bare Jokes

Funniest Bare Short Jokes

Short bare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bare humour may include short bear jokes also.

1. What do Green eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
2. A lot of people are up in arms about the Olympians caught taking drugs to compete. Honestly I'm proud of them, and what they can do. Last time I did drugs I could barely tie my shoe.
3. I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt. I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.
4. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
5. Few years ago I saw Slim Shady in concert and instead of rapping he just kept pulling his pants down and mooning the crowd. Honestly the whole thing was just Em bare assing.
6. Tank tops shouldn't be against school dress codes After all, we have a right to bare arms.
7. My Fiancé said she wanted to be a trophy Wife Now that we're married all she does is lie around so much she can barely walk. And that's how I learned my wife doesn't know how to pronounce atrophy.
8. Lockdown was great! I didn't work, i didn't socialise, i barely left the house. Same as usual, except i didn't feel guilty.
9. Two old ladies sitting in a doctor's office in Florida... The one says to the other, "I can't see, I can't hear anything and I can barely walk. thank god I can still drive."
10. What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Bare One Liners

Which bare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bare? I can suggest the ones about bras and berry.

1. For sale, barely used DeLorean Only driven from time to time.
2. I killed the glove industry With my bare hands
3. Why do Americans wear sleeveless t-shirts? Because they have the right to bare arms
4. Why do lots of Americans wear tank tops? Because they have the right to bare arms
5. What do nudists pack for vacation? Just the bare necessities.
6. What do you call a bear without fur? Bare.
7. Maglev train hits 310mph in Japan. Critics say it has barely left the ground.
8. Why do NRA members wear sleeveless shirts? Because they have a right to bare arms!
9. Many Saudi women are fans of the Second Amendment. They would like a right to bare arms.
10. How do nudists greet each other? With a bare hug.
11. Why don't Canadians wear tank tops? They don't have the right to bare arms
12. What do you call a dyselxic, amateur wizard? Dude who can barely spell.
13. Why did the blonde wax her biceps? She was exercising her right to bare arms.
14. How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls grilled bears? barely enough
15. I wear tank tops because of the Second Amendment. I sure do love my right to bare arms.

Bare Hands Jokes

Here is a list of funny bare hands jokes and even better bare hands puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Louis C.K. is the hardest working comedian in the business He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
• A vegan told me I shouldn't eat animals because I can't kill or butcher them with my bare hands... So I gave him a coconut and told him to have a nice day.
• I brought my girlfriend to watch one of my soccer matches. When an opponent was about to score a goal, she stormed the field and prevented it with her bare hands. She's a keeper.
• "So do you want me to climb up with my bare hands or can I use some sort of climbing device?" The latter.
• I just saw a man repair his monocle with his bare hands. It was a spectacle to behold.
• Back when I was in the army, I killed a whole squadron of soldiers with my bare hands. I probably should have worn gloves while cooking.
• I'm confident I'd be able to rip a phone book in half with my bare hands. Because as a U.S. Southerner, when I fix my unsweetened tea, I open all my sweeteners at once.
• What do you call a person that commits a robbery with his bare hands? An armed robber..
• TIL Johann Travlossky once stopped a moving freight train with his bare hands He was the engineer
• My grandfather was puzzled when I told him that I was surprised that he could still crush a walnut with his bare hands. I was just impressed that despite his age, he had no problem busting a nut.

Bare Feet Jokes

Here is a list of funny bare feet jokes and even better bare feet puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? ​
  ​
  ​
  A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
• Why are socks a bad Christmas present for Daddy Bear? Because he will always have bare feet.
• If you put shoes on a bear... ...does he still have bare feet?
• Did you hear about the bare foot bridegroom? He got cold feet.

Bare Minimum Jokes

Here is a list of funny bare minimum jokes and even better bare minimum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I have only one rule when it comes to attire I dress to meet the bare minimum standards that any given occasion dictates.
  I call it...
  Occam's Blazer.
• What's the bare minimum? 1 Bear
• What's the bare minimum? One bear.
• Why is it that all anyone needs is a small mother? Because it's the bare mini-mum.
• What do you call a British midget mother who can barely support her family? Mini-Mum
• What do you call a n**... dwarf? The bare minimum
• What do you get when a dwarf mother turns up n**...? The bare minimum.

Silly & Ridiculous Bare Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about bare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brig jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bare pranks.