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Bard Jokes

33 bard jokes and hilarious bard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Tired of the same old same old? Check out this collection of incredibly entertaining bard jokes perfect for any Dungeons and Dragons game or tavern night! Featuring jokes full of music and wit, your DND games are sure to get an upgrade with these hilariously creative jokes.

Funniest Bard Short Jokes

Short bard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bard humour may include short bung jokes also.

  1. A new cache of pencils chewed by shakespeare have been found The bard apparently chewed them so much, he couldnt tell if they were 2B or not 2B
  2. Two autocorrecting iPhones walk into a bear Bard*
    BRA*
    BOAR*
    JESUS %#$&ING CHRISTINA AGUILERA
  3. William Shakespear walks into a bar... ..the bouncer sees him and throws him out of the door.
    "You can't come in here", the bouncer tells Will, "you're Bard!"
  4. In 'Dungeons and Dragons' because bards are musicians... Surely they can only use scale mail?
  5. I went into a pub in Stratford and said in my best Shakespearean voice, "A flagon of your finest ale please, Falstaff. "
    They threw me out. Told me I was bard.
  6. A musician had nothing to do so he decided to go have a drink, but the door was locked. The bar door barred the bored bard.
  7. What do you call a traveling musician with no hands, who also loves to wrestle? No-Holds Bard.
  8. A man with a lute... ..went to the pub for a drink, but the bouncer stopped him and said, "Sorry mate, you're bard."
  9. Did you hear about the guy whose feet bards wrote songs about? Apparently it was the stuff of leg ends.
  10. Why couldn't William Shakespeare go to the pub? Because he was bard!

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Bard One Liners

Which bard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bard? I can suggest the ones about brig and bars.

  1. What do bards drop when you kill them? Lute.
  2. Why was the Minstrel refused entry to the tavern? He was BARD for life.
  3. Beware of bards during floods. They're known for luteing.
  4. Why did the barbarian mug the bard? So he could take the lute!
  5. Bards don't steal. They Lute.
  6. What do you call a bard on a Harley? A Minstral Cycle.
  7. What do you call a minstrel that doesn't cuddle? No holds bard.
  8. Why do dragonborns make good bards? They have amazing scales
  9. What do you call an Islamic militant Shakespeare? The Allahu Ak-Bard.
  10. What bird regals you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory? Bard owl.
  11. A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play? Fortunes.
  12. What did medieval bards call their tours? Minstrel Cycles
  13. What did biggie smalls say to the bard? Gimme the lute
  14. Shakespeare walks up to a bar in Italy. The barman says... you're a bard
  15. What was Shakespeare's dirtiest work? Bard in the Bush

Bard joke, What was Shakespeare's dirtiest work?

Cheeky Bard Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about bard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean burg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bard pranks.

Heaven Between Legs

A nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession.
"Mother, today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the key to Heaven and put it in the gates."
"Why that lying ba***rd !" the Mother Superior screamed. "For years he has told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been blowing it!"

Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?

Wizard: Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?
Bard: He thinks it's his spellcasting focus.
Wizard: He has spells?
Bard: Just one. Every time he hits someone with it, he shouts "Cast iron!"

A bard wants to be more powerful and so he strikes a deal with a witch

The witch says she will only grant his wish if he gives her his first born son
The bard laughs and says sure! Good luck finding him

Bard joke, What do you call a traveling musician with no hands, who also loves to wrestle?