Cheeky Bard Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
A new cache of pencils chewed by Shakespeare have been found
The bard apparently chewed them so much, he couldnt tell if they were 2B or not 2B
What do bards drop when you kill them?
Lute.
Heaven Between Legs
A nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession.
"Mother, today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the key to Heaven and put it in the gates."
"Why that lying ba***rd !" the Mother Superior screamed. "For years he has told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been blowing it!"
Two autocorrecting iPhones walk into a bear
Bard*
BRA*
BOAR*
JESUS %#$&ING CHRISTINA AGUILERA
Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?
Wizard: Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?
Bard: He thinks it's his spellcasting focus.
Wizard: He has spells?
Bard: Just one. Every time he hits someone with it, he shouts "Cast iron!"
Why was the Minstrel refused entry to the tavern?
He was BARD for life.
Why did the barbarian mug the bard?
So he could take the lute!
Bards don't steal.
They Lute.
William Shakespear walks into a bar...
..the bouncer sees him and throws him out of the door.
"You can't come in here", the bouncer tells Will, "you're Bard!"
What do you call a bard on a Harley?
A Minstral Cycle.
A bard wants to be more powerful and so he strikes a deal with a witch
The witch says she will only grant his wish if he gives her his first born son
The bard laughs and says sure! Good luck finding him
You can explore bard tavern reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bard bono dad jokes. There are also bard puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
In 'Dungeons and Dragons' because bards are musicians...
Surely they can only use scale mail?
I went into a pub in Stratford and said in my best Shakespearean voice,
"A flagon of your finest ale please, Falstaff. "
They threw me out. Told me I was bard.
A musician had nothing to do so he decided to go have a drink, but the door was locked.
The bar door barred the bored bard.
What do you call a minstrel that doesn't cuddle?
No holds bard.
What bird regals you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play?
Fortunes.
What do you call a traveling musician with no hands, who also loves to wrestle?
No-Holds Bard.
A man with a lute...
..went to the pub for a drink, but the bouncer stopped him and said, "Sorry mate, you're bard."
What did biggie smalls say to the bard?
Gimme the lute
Shakespeare walks up to a bar in Italy. The barman says...
you're a bard
What was Shakespeare's dirtiest work?
Bard in the Bush
Why couldn't William Shakespeare go to the pub?
Because he was bard!
[OC] What is the Barden Bellas favorite Legend of Zelda game?
A ca-rina of time
Shakespeare and Robbie Burns walk into a bar...
and the barman says: "Get out, you're both bard."
What spell does a Bard use at the tavern?
Detect Thots
This morning was all about Shakespeare. This afternoon it's all about his poetry.
Things are going from Bard to Verse
*^(Credit to my mate, Martin)*
What did Shakespeare say to Nelly Furtado?
I'm, like, a Bard.
What do you call a Bard with a PhD?
A Theatrical Physicist.
Sir Francis Bacon walks into a bard...
"Sorry Bill."
Shakespeare walks into a pub in Ye Olde England
The barman looks and shouts "Oi! Get out Shakespeare! You're bard!"
Why were some people not allowed in to the Poet College?
Because they were bard.
