The Best 36 Barbershop Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Barbershop jokes. There are some barbershop hair jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these barbershop stylist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Barbershop Jokes and Puns

I was surprised when I heard Derek was arrested for selling drugs out of his barbershop.

I've known Derek for years and I never knew he was a barber.

Lost friend.

A man was looking for his friend just about everywhere.

He went to the grocery store and asked "Has anyone seen Bob Peters?" To which everyone responded no.

Next he went to the gym and asked "Has Bob Peters been around here?" To which everyone responded no.

After that he went to the barbershop and stuck his head in and asked "Bob Peters here?" To which the barber said "nope, only haircuts."

Aftershave's aftereffects.

A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.

The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.

Barbershop joke, Aftershave's aftereffects.

A man and a boy walked into a barbershop together.

After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""

A man and a boy go into a barbershop.

After getting his haircut, the man says, Now cut the boy's hair too. I'll be back soon.

When he's finished cutting the boy's hair, the barber says, When is your father coming back to pay?

The boy says, He's not my father. He met me in the street and asked if I wanted a free haircut.


The Three Barbers

There are three barbershops on a small street in Amsterdam. The first barbershop has a sign saying 'best barber in the town'

The second has a sign saying 'best barber in the world'.

And the third has a sign saying 'best barber on the street'

The Barbershop

So the other day I walked into a barbershop,

The barber came up to me and asked," Hey how can I help you sir??"

I told him that, " I just need a short cut" as I walked across his store and

right out through the backdoor

Barbershop joke, The Barbershop

A man walks into a barbershop...

...and says, "I want you to cut my hair longer on the left side and shorter on the right side. Make it uneven along the back, jagged in the front, and take out a big chunk right near the top."

The barber says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that."

The man replies, "Why not? It's what you did last time."

A man goes to a barbershop...

Asks the barber, what time do you close today? Barber says 4:30 and the man walks off. Man comes in the next day asks what time the barber closes shop, barber says 5 o'clock and the man walks off. This goes on for some time and one day the barber sends an apprentice to follow the man. The apprentice gets back. Barber asks "well who is this guy where does he walk off to every time" apprentice says "your place"

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here...

So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice.

You can explore barbershop mohawk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean barbershop hairstylist dad jokes. There are also barbershop puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"

A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing?

They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation.

The other day I stayed in a very swanky hotel ...

... I had to shave before they let me go in their barbershop.

A man walks into a barbershop and says, do you cut pubic hair?

The Barber, a little taken back, says, "well, sure, why not?"

The man bares his teeth and says, "Great. Can you get this one?"

Why did Sean Connery open up his barbershop in the forest, rather than the city?

He wanted to shave a couple bucksh.

Barbershop joke, Why did Sean Connery open up his barbershop in the forest, rather than the city?

A new barbershop just opened called Hairy Styles.

They only do comb-overs in One Direction.

A priest, a monk, and a Rabbi walk into a barbershop.

A priest walks into a barbershop. After he gets his hair cut, he goes to pay. The barber says "I do not charge men of faith." The next day the priest leaves twelve eggs in front of the barbershop as thanks.

Soon after, a monk walks into the same barbershop and gets his hair cut for free. The monk leaves twelve apples by the door as thanks.

A few days later, a Rabbi walks into the barbershop. He gets his free haircut. The next day the barber comes to work to see twelve Rabbis by the door.

Cristiano Ronaldo Went to the barbershop for a new haircut.

He went home to his girlfriend and asked, "Well what do you think?". She took a couple of minutes looking his new hair cut over and replied "Well... at least it's not Messi".


The Old Cowboy's Shave

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.

The barber replied, Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does .

I walked into a room where men were wearing capes, expecting great things.

Then I see that it is a barbershop.

How do you get everyone to settle down at a barbershop convention?

"Hair, hair!"

I just got done apologizing to my barbershop quartet

I gathered them to sing a song about a bucket with a lot of water in it.

It turned out to be solo.

A man walks into a barbershop

He tells the barber, "Could you give me a haircut, where you cut one sideburn is longer than the other, you use the razor to make several baldspots on the front of my head, and you make clear zigzags down the back of my head?"

The barber responds, "That's terrible! I can't do that."

The man retorts, "But that's what you did last time!"

Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

I want to start the new year with a bang

So I go to the barbershop.

An ewok goes to a barbershop

And the barber says, "We don't take any walk-ins here."

What is Purple, Musical, and Deadly?

Thanos in a Barbershop Quartet!

Jesus goes to a barbershop. Would you like us to trim your beard? they ask

Jesus says No, I wouldn't want to make your floor a tripping hazard.

An old man went to a hotel but got into a barbershop instead.

Old man: Let's see the menu!
Barber: Cutting and shaving.
Old man: Get me two plates of both!

the barbershop

A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. While her dad is getting his hair cut, the girl begins eating a Twinkie. While she\`s eating, she walks over and stands right next to the barber\`s chair.

The barber looks down and says, "Sweetheart, you\`re gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

"I know," the little girl replies. "I\`m gonna get boobies, too."

A guy goes to a barbershop

The barber claims to have a new machine that can cut everyone's hair equally well.

But that's ridiculous! Says the customer, not everyone has the same size and shaped head!

The barber responds, They do afterward

Me and my friends went to the Barbershop after a long quarantine, We sat their and the head barbarian said ,

Buckle up boys!! it's gonna be hairy.

My barbershop started a football team.

They've got a great line up.

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut

He asks the barber, "do you think you can get all my whiskers off? My cheeks are so wrinkled from age".

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does".

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together

After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the barbershop saloon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working barbershop hairdresser piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes