Barbara Jokes

Following is our collection of mary humor and warmly one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Barbara puns for adults, dirty deborah jokes or clean susie gags for kids.

There is an abundance of beverly jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 17 funniest jokes on barbara. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any nancy witze you can hear about barbara.

The Best jokes about Barbara

Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

A woman must walk 5 paces behind...

Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation...

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "Well, you'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Whom to fire?

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.

Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire.

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive.

Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?

Barbara replied, You'd better jack off. I've got a headache.

George and Barbara Bush were driving through Texas...

...when the First Couple stopped at a restaurant.

Barbara Bush recognized the waiter was an ex-boyfriend from high school. George and Barbara had a friendly conversation with the waiter, and then continued their drive.


In the car, George Bush said to Barbara, "Can you imagine what life would be like if you'd married him instead of me?"


Barbara Bush replied, "Yes. He'd be President and you'd be serving coffee."


Don't Despair

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.

Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair ~ Sister Barbara," on a piece of paper and wrapped the $100 bill in it Then she got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

"What's this?" she asked.

"That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "*Don't Despair* paid 80-to-1!"

Tough choice

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Cutbacks.

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

In Santa Barbara...

restaurant employees could face up to six months jail time for giving out straws.

That means seconds before the ban went into effect, a waiter could have handed one out and said, "This is the last straw."

What is a sheep's favorite song?

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

A man finds a bottle with a genie inside.

*poof* I will grant you one wish, what is thy bidding master?

I want a freeway to Hawaii from Santa Barbara with a tollbooth that only I can enter!

The genie scoffs. Foolish mortal, that is not possible, even for a genie like myself. The logistics of designing and building such a thing over thousands of miles of open ocean is ludicrous, please wish for something else.

The man thinks for a moment. Hmmm, then I wish that I could actually understand women.

Do you want two lanes or four?


Who is Santa Claus?

Because if in Spanish, "Santo" or "San" is used for male saints...
(San Francisco, San Diego)
And "Santa" is used for female saints...
(Santa Monica, Santa Barbara)
Wouldn't that make Santa Claus transsexual?

In an interview Barbara Walters asks OJ Simpson if he thinks he will ever be married again...

He says, "I don't know... One of these days, I might take another stab at it."

What do you call a female barber?

barbara

Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...

Land mines.

The MotherSuperior almost had a stroke ...

The Mother Superior was congratulating the girls in the current graduating class of the all girls parochial high school, and as she shook hands with each graduate, she asked her what she was going to become.

So Mary Teresa said a secretary, and Agnes said a homemaker, etc.

But when she got to Barbara Cecilia, Barbara Cecilia said "a prostitute".

Well, the Mother Superior turned white as a sheet and said, "What did you say, Barbara Cecilia?"

And Barbara Cecilia repeated, "A prostitute, Mother Superior."

Whereupon the Mother Superior said, "Oh, thank goodness - I thought you said 'a Protestant'!"

Santa-Barbara. Santa Barbara. Santa, Barbara...

its not a matter of pronounciation

its the reason i filed for divorce on christmas morning.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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