The Best 55 Barb Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Barb jokes. There are some barb dvd jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these barb terri puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Barb Jokes and Puns
Barber
So a busy guy needed to get his haircut, but later found out he had a meeting right after.
He went into the barber shop where he was greeted warmly.
He sat down in a chair, and asked the barber if he could hurry up.
"I could, but I'd have to cut it a little short"
Barbie and G.I. Joe.
A little girl sits on Santa's lap. In a jolly manner, Santa asks "What would you like for Christmas?"
The girl replies without hesitation:"I would like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa sits for a moment, thinking about the request. Caught off guard, he says "But little girl, Barbie comes with Ken."
The girl looks at Santa and with incredible confidence, states: "No Santa, Barbie only fakes it with Ken."
The Three Barbers
There are three barbershops on a small street in Amsterdam. The first barbershop has a sign saying 'best barber in the town'
The second has a sign saying 'best barber in the world'.
And the third has a sign saying 'best barber on the street'
The Barbershop
So the other day I walked into a barbershop,
The barber came up to me and asked," Hey how can I help you sir??"
I told him that, " I just need a short cut" as I walked across his store and
right out through the backdoor
A barber asked a man how he wants his haircut
In silence
Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken comes in other boxes.
So one of my cows decided to try they old jump over a barb wire fence trick...
it was utter destruction.
What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?
Ready or not, hair I comb!
Why does Barbie like Halloween?
It's pump-ken time
How come Barbie never got pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.
Why doesn't Barbie have any kids?
Because Ken came in another box.
You can explore barb sharon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean barb regretful dad jokes. There are also barb puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner
It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak
I went to the barber before I had my SAT yesterday
it really helped me clear my head
The barber from across the street was just arrested for selling drugs.
I was his customer for 3 years. Didn't know he was also a barber.
A barber starts a conversation with a new customer
* Barber: Where have you been getting your hair cut before coming here?
* Customer: Actually my dad's been doing it for a while now.
* Barber: Is he Jewish or Italian?
* Customer: He's Italian, why do you ask?
* Barber: Well either he's cheap or he knows what he's doing.
I said to my wife Barb,
'You make an excellent point.'
I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it.
Bonus joke:
Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder.
My barber asked me to stop singing Wonderwall
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that shaves me (shaves me)
Why didn't barbie ever get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.
What does Barbie like to do on hallowe'en?
Pump ken
My barber was telling me about how he was going to disinherit his son...
Yeah, it was quite the heir cut.
Barber in my town was arrested for dealing drugs...
Shame, was his customer for years, never knew he cut hair.
What do my barber and the doctor who did my circumcision have in common?
They both took too much off the top
A barber got arrested..
A barber got arrested in my area for dealing drugs and I'm totally shook. I've been his customer for years and never knew he was a barber.
My barber is an idiot.
He always puts my cape on the wrong way around.
Barbies create unrealistic expectations of women
No woman's head reattaches THAT easily in my experience
My barber asked me what I wanted today. I replied, "I dunno. Do something that makes me look more sexy!"
So she started throwing back shots of vodka.
How did the barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
What does the barber do to the moon's hair?
Eclipse it.
A barber in my neighbourhood got arrested for selling drugs
I was shocked, never knew he was a barber too.
A barber got arrested in my town
He sold drugs and ran an escort service. Just shows how little you know of the people around you. I never knew he was an barber.
How did the barber win the race?
...he took some short cuts...
How did Barbie get to be such a good swimmer?
She trained with doll-fins.
Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?
Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...
How does a barber give the Sun a haircut?
Eclipse it.
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
I went to the barber shop a few days ago to cut my hair...
I didn't like my haircut first, but then it grew on me
the barbershop
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. While her dad is getting his hair cut, the girl begins eating a Twinkie. While she\`s eating, she walks over and stands right next to the barber\`s chair.
The barber looks down and says, "Sweetheart, you\`re gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replies. "I\`m gonna get boobies, too."
Why didn't Barbie have a baby?
Because Ken came in a different box.
My barber told me to put a ball in my mouth
My barber told me to put a ball in my mouth so he could a get a closer shave on my cheek.
I asked him "what happens if I accidentally swallow the ball?"
He replied " you can bring it back tomorrow just like everybody else who does "
Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane
**Her:** My God — imagine if it had been a small child
**Me:** I could have fought off a small child, Barb
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant?
Because Ken always comes in a different box.
Why is Satan's barber always nervous?
Because last time he messed up there was hell toupee.
Why didn't Barbie have any kids?
Because Ken always came in a different box.
Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
because Ken comes in a different box
Does Barbie come with Ken?
No, she fakes it with Ken. Barbie only comes with GI Joe.
Why did Barbie smell like fish?
Because Australians like throwing shrimp on her.
Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken comes in another box.
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
Went into the barbers, I said I want you to cut my hair like David Beckhams .
He cut my hair and I looked in the mirror!
David Beckham doesn't have his hair cut like that!!??
Barber says; He does if he comes in here!!!
Why did Barbie leave Ken?
Because he came in another box.
Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken cums in another box.
Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages
10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I've been to
Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women's bodies.
Women's heads are much harder to put back on in real life.
A barbarian slave in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter
They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to oral sex only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.
Eventually, though, he was gladiator.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the barb quaaludes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working barb dyke piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.