Barb Jokes
103 barb jokes and hilarious barb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about barb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article featuring Barb jokes from the Canadian comedy series "Letterkenny" is sure to brighten your day. Read jokes about fan-favorite characters Linda, Penn, and Sharon, and get your fill of hilariously dry Canadian humor.
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Funniest Barb Short Jokes
Short barb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The barb humour may include short crowbar jokes also.
- What do a G-string and a barbed wire fence have in common? They both run along the property line without distracting from the view.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
^(I'll show myself out) - What do G-Strings and barbed wire have in common? They both protect the property without disrupting the view.
- Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
- So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence... It was an udder disaster.
- So one of my cows decided to try they old jump over a barb wire fence trick... it was utter destruction.
- I just finished baby-proofing my condo. I seriously doubt any of them are making it past the barbed wire and claymores.
- Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the barbed wired fence? It was udder catastrophe!
- Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane **Her:** My God — imagine if it had been a small child
**Me:** I could have fought off a small child, Barb - What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Udder Destruction.
I swear this joke is funnier in person.
Try it, trust me.
p**... dropper for sure.
Share These Barb Jokes With Friends
Barb One Liners
Which barb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with barb? I can suggest the ones about bar patron and bar bouncer.
- what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence ? Utter destruction...
- What's grey, has spikes, and runs around a field? Barbed wire.
- What do you get when you breed a snake with a hedgehog? Barbed wire
- I said to my wife Barb, 'You make an excellent point.'
- Did u hear about the cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction
- A cow jumped over a barbed fence It was udder-destruction
- What do you call a fishing hook without barbs? Debatable!
- Once I saw a cow jump over a barbed wire fence Twas an utter catastrophe
- What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction
- Which one is the most regretful vegetable in the garden? The rue-barb.
- What do you call a hybrid between a snake and a headgehog? Barbed wire.
- What's a Demogorgon's favorite event? A Barb-ecue!
Cheerful Barb Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about barb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean barrel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make barb pranks.
What does Barbie do on Halloween?
Pumpken
Barber
So a busy guy needed to get his haircut, but later found out he had a meeting right after.
He went into the barber shop where he was greeted warmly.
He sat down in a chair, and asked the barber if he could hurry up.
"I could, but I'd have to cut it a little short"
The Three Barbers
There are three barbershops on a small street in Amsterdam. The first barbershop has a sign saying 'best barber in the town'
The second has a sign saying 'best barber in the world'.
And the third has a sign saying 'best barber on the street'
The Barbershop
So the other day I walked into a barbershop,
The barber came up to me and asked," Hey how can I help you sir??"
I told him that, " I just need a short cut" as I walked across his store and
right out through the b**...
A barber asked a man how he wants his haircut
In silence
Why doesn't barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken comes in other boxes.
What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?
Ready or not, hair I comb!
A barber, a bald guy and a professor go for a night camp in a jungle.
They decide to guard one by one during the night. Barber's turn comes first. Others sleep.
While guarding, he gets bored and amuses himself by shaving the professor's head.
Then professor's turn comes. He touches and feels his bald head and thinks, "Idiot barber has woken up the bald guy by mistake".
Why does Barbie like Halloween?
It's pump-ken time
How come Barbie never got pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.
Why doesn't Barbie have any kids?
Because ken came in another box.
What does Barbie say when the drought finally ends?
It's raining Ken, hallelujah....
¿Dónde está Barbie?
Ken sabe.
I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner
It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak
I went to the barber before I had my SAT yesterday
it really helped me clear my head
The barber from across the street was just arrested for selling drugs.
I was his customer for 3 years. Didn't know he was also a barber.
A barber, a hairdresser, and bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
A barber starts a conversation with a new customer
* Barber: Where have you been getting your hair cut before coming here?
* Customer: Actually my dad's been doing it for a while now.
* Barber: Is he Jewish or Italian?
* Customer: He's Italian, why do you ask?
* Barber: Well either he's cheap or he knows what he's doing.
I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it.
Bonus joke:
Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder.
Why was the barbecue so happy?
He met the grill of his dreams!
My barber asked me to stop singing Wonderwall
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that shaves me (shaves me)
Why didn't barbie ever get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.
What does Barbie like to do on hallowe'en?
Pump ken
Barber: how would you like your hair cut?
Customer: in silence
A barber in my hometown just got busted for selling drugs. It blew my mind..
I had no idea that he was a barber.
My barber was telling me about how he was going to disinherit his son...
Yeah, it was quite the heir cut.
If Barbie is so popular...
then why do you have to buy her friends?
A new barbershop just opened called Hairy Styles.
They only do comb-overs in One Direction.
What does Barbie like to go snorkling with?
Doll-fins.
Barber in my town was arrested for dealing drugs...
Shame, was his customer for years, never knew he cut hair.
What do my barber and the doctor who did my circumcision have in common?
They both took too much off the top
How does Barbie read her books?
She uses a Ken Doll.
A barber got arrested..
A barber got arrested in my area for dealing drugs and I'm totally shook. I've been his customer for years and never knew he was a barber.
My barber is an idiot.
He always puts my cape on the wrong way around.
Barbies create unrealistic expectations of women
No woman's head reattaches THAT easily in my experience
My barber asked me what I wanted today. I replied, "I dunno. Do something that makes me look more s**...!"
So she started throwing back shots of v**....
Went to the barbers today, I asked him to cut my hair like Tom Cruise.
So he gave me a cushion to sit on !!
How did the barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
What does the barber do to the moon's hair?
Eclipse it.
A barber in my neighbourhood got arrested for selling drugs
I was shocked, never knew he was a barber too.
A barber got arrested in my town
He sold drugs and ran an e**... service. Just shows how little you know of the people around you. I never knew he was an barber.
What is the best Barbie Doll?
Divorced Barbie because it comes with Ken's house and car.
How did the barber win the race?
...he took some short cuts...
How did Barbie get to be such a good swimmer?
She trained with doll-fins.
Why do barbie dolls have purple n**...?
Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...
How does a barber give the Sun a haircut?
Eclipse it.
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
Land mines.
How did the barber win the race?
He cut a head!
I went to the barber shop a few days ago to cut my hair...
I didn't like my haircut first, but then it grew on me
I went to the barbers and asked for a number 2 all over.
I've washed my hair 6 times since and still can't get the smell out.
the barbershop
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. While her dad is getting his hair cut, the girl begins eating a t**.... While she\`s eating, she walks over and stands right next to the barber\`s chair.
The barber looks down and says, "Sweetheart, you\`re gonna get hair on your t**...."
"I know," the little girl replies. "I\`m gonna get boobies, too."
I was at a barber shop in Bangkok and I asked to get my hair dyed, and for the barber to surprise me. I noticed that it was taking a bit longer than hair dyeing normally would, and when I looked at the finished job in the mirror, I noticed that they were in rainbow swirls.
When I asked the barber, "What is this?" he told me,"Well, it's a Thai dye."
Why didn't Barbie have a baby?
Because Ken came in a different box.
What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly b**...?
They called the the navel reserve, naturally.
My barber told me to put a ball in my mouth
My barber told me to put a ball in my mouth so he could a get a closer shave on my cheek.
I asked him "what happens if I accidentally s**... the ball?"
He replied " you can bring it back tomorrow just like everybody else who does "
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant?
Because Ken always comes in a different box.
Why is Satan's barber always nervous?
Because last time he messed up there was h**... toupee.
Why didn't Barbie have any kids?
Because Ken always came in a different box.
Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
because Ken comes in a different box
Does Barbie come with Ken?
No, she fakes it with Ken. Barbie only comes with GI Joe.
Why did Barbie smell like fish?
Because Australians like throwing shrimp on her.
Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken comes in another box.
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
Went into the barbers, I said I want you to cut my hair like David Beckhams .
He cut my hair and I looked in the mirror!
David Beckham doesn't have his hair cut like that!!??
Barber says; He does if he comes in here!!!
Why did Barbie leave Ken?
Because he came in another box.
Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken c**... in another box.
Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages
10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I've been to
Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women's bodies.
Women's heads are much harder to put back on in real life.
A barbarian s**... in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter
They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to o**... s**... only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.
Eventually, though, he was gladiator.
A barber in my area got arrested for drug dealing..
I've been his customer for 10 years, but I had no idea he was a barber
Need barber jokes for a friend
My friend is having a rough time in barber school so i've been sending funny hairdressing jokes and memes in an attemot to keep his spirits up but i've run out. Please send more to help make a stressed student happy
My barber interrupted my horse story...
...even though I told him *not* to cut off my pony tale
I went into the barbers today and asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise....
He lifted me up and sat me on a cushion...
My barber is big into astrology, and told me that every zodiac sign corresponds to a certain hairstyle, except for one
Cancer.
Why have Barbie and Ken never had a baby?
Because Ken comes in a different box.
My barber gives me really great bargains
He takes 90% off
Why did Barbie go to a yoga retreat in Australia?
She heard about all the Ken gurus
Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?
Wizard: Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?
Bard: He thinks it's his spellcasting focus.
Wizard: He has spells?
Bard: Just one. Every time he hits someone with it, he shouts "Cast iron!"
