Barack Jokes
105 barack jokes and hilarious barack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about barack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Barack Short Jokes
Short barack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The barack humour may include short barack obama jokes also.
- Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he's dressed up as and he responds I'm a snail! That's M'shell on my back
- Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
- How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said, "I don't wanna be Obama self."
- Barack Obama is having a race with joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"
Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11." - Biden and Barack don't tell each other "yo mama" jokes... they tell each other Jo 'Bama jokes.
(I'm sorry, it's terrible) - What did barack obama write inside his Valentines card? "I'm glad I've got you Michelle; I didn't want to be Obamaself"
- Barack Obama: Most of the time, all he wanted was to be invisible.
"Now, let me be clear." - Obama The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Congratulations, Barack Obama.
- Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship... Barack Obama and mitt romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?
The answer: AMERICA!!! - Barack Obama walks into a subaru dealership... The salesman asked him, "What are you looking for?"
Obama says, "I'm looking for a replacement because my legacy got wrecked."
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Barack One Liners
Which barack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with barack? I can suggest the ones about president and inauguration.
- Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks.
- What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me
- Why does Japan love Obama? He is first Barack president.
- What did Barack Obama say when he dropped his shell at the beach? Oh no Michelle !
- How do get Donald Trump to change a lightbulb? Tell him Barack Obama installed it.
- What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me.
- Had me a Barack Obama valentines day. Obama self.
- What does Barack Obama say when his workweek is done? Yes weekend
- Does anyone know what Barack Obama's favorite nut is? Yes, pecan!
- What is President Obama's favorite genre of music? Barack 'n Roll.
Ba dum tss. - Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work.
- Did you here about the two faces being added to MT. Rushmore? Barack Obama!
- If Barack and Joe were in a buddy cope movie, would it be called "Abiden By The Law"?
- What did the homeless man say to Barack Obama? "Can I have some 'change'?"
- What do you call chapstick made by President Barack Obama A lip oBALMa
Barack Obama Jokes
Here is a list of funny barack obama jokes and even better barack obama puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Hillary went for dinner with Barack Obama the other day I heard he was very polite, but hillary brought her own private server.
- I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.
- What did Republicans think was so terrible about Barack's presidency? It was an Obama-nation!
- I had a chat with Barack Obama today... My mum was confused as to why I was talking to the microwave.
- what do global warming and Barack Obama have in common? Trump likes to pretend they don't exist
- So Donald Trump wants Barack Obama and Bill Gates to talk about shutting down the internet. Shouldn't Al Gore be a part of that conversation?
- Lonely Obama What is the previous president, Mr. Barack's, go to song when he is lonely?
.
.
O-ba-ma-self..don't wanna be! - Hollywood is remaking the classic film "Who dares wins" This time however it is not about the SAS, but Barack Obama visiting Dallas in an open top limo.
- What did Barack say when Michelle left him I'm Obama self now
- What did Barack Obama say after he was asked if he had a favorite type of nut? ..."Yes. Pe. Can!"
President Barack Jokes
Here is a list of funny president barack jokes and even better president barack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: After Barack it will be a while before we got another president of color. Me now:...I didn't think it would happen so soon, and that the color would be orange
- Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette... - Barack Obama If Barack Obama was such a good President where is Barack Obama II?
- Everyone should support President Obama and her husband Barack
- Is President Obama white? No, he's Barack!
Barack Michelle Jokes
Here is a list of funny barack michelle jokes and even better barack michelle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does Barack say to Michelle when they're getting adventurous with their House of Cards roleplay? "Let me be Claire."
- Why did Barack and Michelle have a fight during foreplay? Because she said put-in.
- Why does Michelle Obama love fried chicken? Because it goes great with steamed Barack-oli.
Hilarious Barack Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about barack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bush jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make barack pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop...
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Obama calls Romney....
And says, I got good news and bad news. Romney says "What is it?" Obama says "Well the good news is I think it's time for a m**... president." "That's great Barack! What's the bad news?" Obama chuckles and says "My baptism is next Sunday"
How is Barack Obama ruining Christmas?
When he speaks he breaks up his Clauses.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert
There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock
Have you ever seen that really old picture of Barack Obama?
He was black and white.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Russian President Vladimir Putin called Barack Obama with an emergency request
Mr President, we need help. Our largest c**... factory has exploded, the Russian President explained. My people now have no method of birth control! This is a true disaster!
Vladimir, said Obama, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.
We do need your help, said Putin.
Could you possibly send one million condoms to tide us over? No problem, I'm on it, said Obama.
Oh, and one more small favour, please? said Putin. Yes? said Obama.
Can you supply the condoms red in colour and at least ten inches long and four inches in diameter?
No problem, replied Obama, and with that, he hung up and called the CEO of Durex. I need a favour, you've got to make one million condoms right away and send them to Russia.
Consider it done, said the CEO of Durex.
Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, ten inches long and four inches wide.
Easily done. Anything else?
Yes, says Obama. Print 'MADE IN USA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one.
Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting
Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'"
Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
If I voted for Barack, does that make me Probama?
But if I didn't, does that make me Nobama?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An airplane is about to c**... with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and old man and a young boy...
Unfortunately there were only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.
Barack Obama said I am the president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower! So he takes the 1st parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
Hillary Clinton, said I am the future first female President of the United States and I am the smartest woman in the world. So she takes the 2nd parachute and exits the plane.
The old man kneels down to the young boy and says, "I am old and frail and I've lived many years, you take the last parachute."
The young boy responds, It's ok! We have enough parachutes. The world's smartest woman jumped out of the airplane with my backpack.
God gathers the leaders of every nation
to tell them that the world is going to end in a week, and that they must inform their countrymen and women. Shocked, the leaders return home wondering how to best break the news. The next day, they all hold press conferences.
Barack Obama: "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that God exists, but the bad news is that the world will end in less than a week."
Robert Mugabe: "I have only bad news. God exists and the world will end in less than a week."
Kim Jong-Un: "I have great news! I am on a first name basis with God, and He told me I would rule until the end of the world!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do the birthers...?
Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)?
Because Barack Obama is black.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call Barrack Obama with a bad spray tan?
Orange is the new Barack!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A comedian, a r**..., and the President of the United States are in an elevator ..
and then Barack says to the other guy "Always liked you most in The Cosby Show".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Barack Obama is planning to tighten gun purchase loopholes by executive order this week.
Republicans are already planning to shoot it down.
Am I listening?
Call me Barack Obama 'cause I'm all ears.
Barack and George walked into the White House...
Hillary Dodged.
In honor of Throwback Thursday, here's a joke from 2008.
What will happen if Hillary Clinton becomes president?
She will file for divorce.
And what will happen if Barack Obama becomes president?
He'll have the White House repainted.
Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off.
When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all "knew" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong.
Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.
Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin went fishing...
After a couple of hours, Obama was flinging his arms around, swatting mosquitos away, while Putin sat there, watching the pond, unbothered.
"How is it, that these bloodsuckers only target my blood reserves?" Asked Obama. "They don't bite you at all!"
Putin smiled knowingly and replied: "They're not allowed to".
What college did Barack go to?
Allah-Bama
George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.
God asks Bush: What do you believe in?
Bush replies: I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on ...
God is impressed by Bush and tells him: Great, come sit on the chair on my right.
God goes to Obama and asks: What do you believe in?
Obama replies: I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. ...
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: Well done, come sit on the chair on my left.
Finally, God asks Trump: What do you believe in ?
Trump replies: I believe you're sitting on my chair.
What would Obama's wrestling name be?
Dwayne "Barack" Johnson
Just last week a smiling Barack Obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"
It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.
Obama walks into a bar, but he's invisible.
The bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?"
Barack says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes."
For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted.
For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too.
And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Barack Obama call i**... aliens? source: http://www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/barackobamajokes.html
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Obama and Trump get a shave...
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump and Obama at a Barber shop
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**....
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Obama milk joke
Barack Obama: We’ve already announced over 500 reforms, and just a fraction of them will save business and citizens more than $10 billion over the next five years. We got rid of one rule from 40 years ago that could have forced some dairy farmers to spend $10,000 a year proving that they could contain a spill — because milk was somehow classified as an oil. With a rule like that, I guess it was worth crying over spilled milk.
Hillary, Donald Trump, and Barack Obama were waiting in the green room before a banquet with the movers and shakers of DC...
Suddenly a heavenly chorus of angels sang, and God appeared to the trio.
In a booming voice God said, Each of you may ask one question, and I will answer it.
Obama asked, Will there ever be another black president?
God replied, Yes. But not during your lifetime.
Trump asked, Will liberals ever think I was a good president?
God said, Yes. But not during your lifetime.
Hillary asked, Will I ever be president of the United States?
God answered, Yes. But not during MY lifetime.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there were 4 people on a private jet
Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.
In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to c**....
So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.
Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.
Then there's only one parachute left.
Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.
Then the little girl says actually there's two left.
Barack Obama says how ?
Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.
Joe : Barack....
Joe : Barack....
Obama : yes Joe, we have to go our on ways after our term is over.
Joe : I'll miss you man. I'm going to be....
Obama : Don't you say it !
Joe : I'm going to be ... *cries* .....*sobs*.
Obama : don't you ever say it !
Joe : it's just.... I'm going to be... *sighs*
Joe : OBAMASELFFF
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common?
Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.
