Baptize Jokes

Following is our collection of waterboarding humor and prophet one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Baptize puns for adults, dirty communion jokes or clean hindu gags for kids.

There is an abundance of presbyterian jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes on baptize. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any preach witze you can hear about baptize.

The Best jokes about Baptize

Telling a girl to calm down:

works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to find out who is the best at their job.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see which one is best at his job.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see which one is best at their job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:

When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi wanted to see who's the best at his job.

So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.

A priest, a rabbi and a minister.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together.

The priest begins. When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is wrapped in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.


What religion are bears?

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and the bear

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds 
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the 
circumcision.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi went to see...

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.

How not to convert a bear

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. (a classic)

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds 
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the 
circumcision.

Converting bears

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.


A Priest, Minister and Rabbi Try to Convert a Bear

A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:

When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.

I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.

Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.

Three fetuses were talking about their futures...

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up, and bring babies into the world" said the first one.

"I'm gonna be a preacher, and baptize babies!" said the next.

"I'm gonna be a murderer!" said the last.

"A murderer!" exclaimed the first two. "Why?"

"I'm gonna kill the guy who's poking me in the back every night!"

Two Jews walk past a Christian Church.

There was a sign outside saying "If you let us baptize you as a Catholic we'll give you $500 dollars!."

The first Jew raised his eyebrows to the other and said "How about it?". "No!" the other Jew exclaimed, "I'm not forsaking my beliefs for $500!." "Hey money is money| the first Jew shrugged, "besides I'm not even that dedicated to the faith. I'm going in"

Grudgingly the second Jew consents to wait outside while the first Jew goes in to be baptized. He's gone for quite some time, but a couple of hours later he emerges with a beaming smile on his face, looking the picture of spiritual contentment. His curiosity peaked, the second Jew goes up to him and asks, "Well did you get the money?!

"Oh it's all about money with you people!"

Why didn't the spider baptize his 50 children?

too many fonts is bad for web design

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes