The Best 32 Baptists Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Baptists jokes. There are some baptists evangelist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these baptists baptist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Baptists Jokes and Puns

Why don't baptists have sex standing up?

Someone might think they are dancing.

Religion is all about who you DON'T recognize.....

Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

Baptists joke, What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Baptists

Why don't Baptists have sex standing up? Because people might think they're dancing.

What's the difference...

What's the difference between Missionary Baptists and Baptists?
Position


THREE RELIGIOUS TRUTHS IN AMERICA, WE CANNOT ESCAPE:

1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

3) Baptists AND MORMONS do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

Why do Baptists forbid premarital sex?

Because they're afraid it could lead to dancing.

Baptists joke, Why do Baptists forbid premarital sex?

Here's a joke for you.

Jews don't recognize Jesus. Protestants don't recognize the Pope. Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

This last bit translates into some practical advice. If you go fishing, don't bring a Baptist; he'll drink all the beer. But if you bring two of them, you'll have it all to yourself.

Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one?

If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop

A Lack of Recognition

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.

Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.

How to tell the difference between Jews, Baptists, and Protestants

Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the head of the Church

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Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah

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Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

You can explore baptists marxist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean baptists footloose dad jokes. There are also baptists puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why should you always take at least two Baptists with you when you go fishing?

Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer.

I think Baptists make horrible baseball players

because they believe in once safe, always safe.

Why don't Baptists approve of premarital sex?

Because it might lead to dancing.

What's the difference between Catholics and Baptists?

Catholics wave at each other in the liquor store.

Jews don't recognize Jesus. Protestants don't recognize the Pope.

Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

Baptists joke, Jews don't recognize Jesus. Protestants don't recognize the Pope.

Why don't Southern Baptists make love standing up?

Because they're afraid someone will look in the window and think that they're dancing.

There are 3 things that all religions can agree on.

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah, Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the head of the Church and Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

Why don't Southern Baptists have sex standing up?

Because it might lead to dancing.


Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?

It looks too much like dancing.

There are three truths in religion:

1) Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

3) Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

If baptists are baptized...

does that mean protestants are protested?

Why should you always take two Baptists fishing?

If you take just one Baptist, he'll drink all your beer; if you take two, they won't drink any.

Four great religious truths

Muslims don't recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
Jews don's recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
Baptists don't recognize each other at Hooters.

Why should only take 0 or 2 baptists fishing with you?

Well if you take just one he'll drink all your beer.

Why don't Baptists believe in sex?

They worry it could lead to dancing.

How many Westboro Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

30. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and 29 to protest it for being brighter than they are.

Why is it you have to take multiple baptists on a fishing trip?

Because if you take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?

They don't want anybody to think they're dancing.

Religions are so different. Jews do not recognize Christ. Anglicans do not recognize the Pope.

Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

There are three religious truths

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

A man dies and goes to hell where he finds himself in the middle of a tour.

The tour guide walks them to a room of people covered in scorpions and says- Here is where all of the Catholics go. He then takes them to a room where all of the people are burning alive- This is where all of the baptists go. He then walks the group into a beautiful valley where children are running and playing with smiles on their faces. Furious, the tour guide grabs his phone, makes a call and yells- The damned mormons are irrigating again.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the baptists methodist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working baptists idly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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