Banks Jokes

Following is our collection of fund humor and withdrawal one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Banks puns for adults, dirty debt jokes or clean bank of america gags for kids.

There is an abundance of bank robbers jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 57 funniest jokes on banks. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any fucking bank account witze you can hear about banks.

The Best jokes about Banks

In Soviet Russia, you rob banks...

in Capitalist America, banks rob you!

Thank you banks

Thank you banks for the student loans, car loans and mortgages, which helped me survive my life.

I don't know if I can ever repay you.

Why is a river really rich?

It's got two banks.

I just found out sperm banks pay for your sample....

To think I've let all that money slip through my fingers.

Marijuana businesses in Washington and Colorado are now allowed to use banks..

So long as they open joint accounts.

Sperm banks be like:

Get a load of this guy

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail spam inbox

I find:

* 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

* I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.

* 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

* 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.

* Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.

* 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

* And Approx 40-50 mails from different girls who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.

I read that donations to sperm banks have dropped dramatically...

It's probably because, these days, most men do their banking online...

They don't have blood banks in England ...

... but they do have a liver pool.

What's the hardest part about being black and jewish?

Having to rob your own banks.

I don't understand why banks keep their pens chained to the counter

If I trust you with my money, then you should trust me with your pen!

What banks are the most sexist?

Sperm banks cause they only accept deposits from men

A man walks into a small bank

There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:

"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."

The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"

While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:


I wish I could get lucky with banks as I am with women.

Women always offer a 0% interest rate.

Why were piggy banks made?

To keep the Jews away from the money

What does sex and banks have in common?

You put it in, you take it out, then you lose interest!

Two blondes find themselves on opposite banks of a river.

Two blondes find themselves on opposite banks of a river. One yells across the river, "Tell me how to get to the other side!"

The other replies, "You're already there!"

Why are piggy banks actually pigs?

To keep Jews away from your money.

Why are sperm in sperm banks more valuable than blood in blood banks?

The sperm is hand-made.

What did 50 Cent say when Lloyd Banks gave him a new sweater?

Gee, you knit?

Why are sperm banks always so crowded?

People are paid to come inside.

After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide


Those people who are against gay marriage and say...

''In Genesis it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'', are so narrow minded..

Everyone knows that in Genesis it was Phil Collins, Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford..

I'm done with banks

The have lost my interest

When I found out sperm banks were taking deposits through the mail...

I came in a jiffy.

I don't like piggy banks..

I'm afraid of change!

Sperm banks are like torrents

They both want your seed

What do police budgets and children's coin holders have in common?

Both are piggy banks

Banks have been using insects to adjust customers' balances and deal with financial issues.

They're the account ants

Why do rivers contain a lot of money?

There are banks on both sides.

Do you know why Trump's name is on all of his buildings?

So the banks know which ones to take back!

Ha cha cha!!

A politician is trying to get a horse's vote.

So he promises the horse a stable economy.

But it wasn't good enough so the horse said nay.

So the politician promises the horse that he won't bale out the banks anymore.

The horse still said nay.

"What more do you want from me" said the politician

and horse said "I don't know how to end a joke"

Why do snow plow operators get paid?

Snow Banks.

I was kicked out of a sperm bank.

Apparently only nurses in blood banks do extractions themselves.

How do the nurses at sperm banks get paid?

Erect deposit.

What do Sperm Banks and sailboats have in common?

Practically nothing

What's the only bank franchise that doesn't have ATMs?

Sperm banks.

Why do banks require 2 graphing calculators to take out a loan?

One to sine and the other to cosine.

What do big banks and Hillary Clinton have in common?

They aren't too big to fail

Interview joke

Interviewer: What is your name, and what do you do for a living

Bank Robber: I'm Robin Banks

The Jews run everything - the government, the media, the banks...

Israel is an interesting place.

Crytominers: "Cryptocurrency means freedom from government and banks!"

IRS: "...Hold my beer."

Why was the mountain stream laughing?

Because it's banks were hill-areas...

Quick question, if money doesn't grow on trees

then why do banks have branches?

If you're looking for a job be a construction worker.

I've heard they make banks.

One liner....

A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions...HANDS DOWN!

These times are tough with businesses being closed and unemployment claims shooting up...

You know how much of my time is taken to check with all my banks to make sure my lines of credit are still available?

Banks should start training exorcists.

They'll be amazing for repossessing.

In communist america

Banks rob you.

There are rumours big Canadian banks Scotia and TD may merge...

giving Canada one giant STD

Why do todays university graduates only want to work at banks?

It's the only job with a guaranteed safe space.

Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river?

Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed?

Whenever I feel depressed in life. ..

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail inbox...

I find: 1) 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

2) I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.

3) 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

4) 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.

5) 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

Why are most Muslims broke all the time?

They never understood the concept of piggy banks.

What did Lloyd Banks say to 50 Cent after he got him a sweater for Christmas?

Gee, u knit?

Mr. Banks began to fill his hot air balloon for a trip across London

To his delight a few minutes later, he found that it'd gained a pound due to inflation

Have you heard about Mark Knopfler using food banks?

He gets honey for nothing and chips for free.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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