Bank Teller Jokes
101 bank teller jokes and hilarious bank teller puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bank teller that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bank Teller Short Jokes
Short bank teller jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bank teller humour may include short bank cashier jokes also.
- A man tries to rob a bank Man: "Where is the money!"
Teller:
Man: "Where is the money!"
Teller:
Penn: "He always does this." - I lost my job as a bank teller on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I shoved her and she fell down.
- I recently came into a lot of money. The bank teller wasn't happy about having to use gloves.
- So I went to the bank to deposit money and the teller asked for my ID. I said
"Wait, people wanted to put money in my bank account and you stopped them?!" - I'm a bank teller and some old lady asked for help checking her balance ... So I pushed her over
- so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change. Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!
- I got some bad news from a fortune teller today. "Six dollars," she said, "and please, it's bank teller."
- A Tree walks into a bank... ...and says to the teller, "I'd like to take out a loan."
The teller replies, "You'll have to talk to our branch manager." - I went to the bank with my Dad... because he had to get some cash. The teller asked if he wanted large bills or small bills, and my Dad replied "aren't all bills the same size here?"
- At the bank, I told the teller I'd like to open a joint account She asked "Okay, with whom?"
"With whoever had the most money" I answered
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Bank Teller One Liners
Which bank teller one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bank teller? I can suggest the ones about banker and bank robber.
- why can't a bank keep a secret? because there are too many tellers.
- On my first day as a bank teller, a woman told me to check her balance.. So I pushed her
- Why did the bank teller push the old lady over? Because she asked to check her balance.
- What do you call a really fat bank teller? A four-chin teller.
- What happened when the Bank teller went crazy? All I got was non cents.
- Why was the female bank teller angry? She was going through the change...
- Why did the bank teller change careers? ...lost too much interest...
- I am a bank robber... I took a pen from the teller
- Do you know why you never kiss a girl at a Bank? because she's a teller
- I decided not to go on that date with the bank teller No interest
- Did you hear about the obese woman who got a job at a bank? She was a four-chin teller.
- Why can't the bank keep a secret? It has too many tellers!
- I went to a bad bank It was less than teller.
- Never kiss a girl in a bank shes probably a teller.
- A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
Playful Bank Teller Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about bank teller you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bank employees jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bank teller pranks.
Why was the Irish bank teller happy?
Because his capital's Dublin.
(hope this isn't a repost)
Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!
Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars
Bank teller: Fluctuations
Asian: Fluck you too.
What a dumb blonde... wait...
*Blonde goes into a bank
Blonde: I need a loan for $5,000.
Bank-teller: We'll need some sort of deposit.
Blonde: Ok, here's the keys to my car (Mercedes-Benz S600)
*Blonde leaves
Bank-teller(laughing): She's so s**...! Leaving a $100,000 car as a deposit for a $5,000 loan.
*Bank-teller parks car in secret underground parking garage. Then he does research on the blonde and finds out she's a multimillionaire.
Bank-teller: She's an idiot! Why would she borrow $5,000 if she's a multimillionaire?
*Two weeks later
*Blonde comes back and pays bank-teller $5,000 with $15.41 interest
Bank-teller: Why would you borrow $5,000 and leave an expensive car here if you're a multimillionaire?
Blonde: Where else in New York City can you park a $100,000 car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it not to get stolen?
*
A Chinese woman storms into a bank and up to the front of the line.
She slams her hand down on the counter and demands the teller's attention.
"My stock," she says, "yesterday was worth one hundred dollar a share! Now is ninety five! Why? You try to rip me off?"
The teller smiles and says "No ma'am. Fluctuations."
The lady's face turns a bright shade of crimson and she screams "We'll fluc you white people too!"
fluctuations
This asian lady goes to a bank to exchange her currency into dollars. For 1000 yuans she gets about 160$.
A week later she walks in with a thousand more and this time she only gets 150.
Confused, she asks the teller " Why 10$ less this time?"
Teller says "fluctuations"
She turns to leave and says " Fluc you americans too..."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is m**... Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".
A rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of m**......
And hands it over to the bank teller.
Confused, the bank teller asks, "What's this for?"
The rasta replies, "Me here to open a joint account."
Kermit Jagger walks into a bank
and walks up to the teller, Patricia Whack and asks for a loan. The teller asks for something as collateral. Kermit produces a tiny porcelain elephant. The teller doesn't understand so Kermit asks to see the manager. The manager comes out and looks at Kermit and the tiny porcelain elephant. Patricia asks the manager what to do with the elephant? Manager says "it's a knick-knack p**... Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"
I fondly remember my dad telling me this one, but i never understood it until recently.
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.
He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
An Asian woman goes to the bank...
An Asian woman goes to the bank to exchange the currency for dollars. A , week after that she goes again and gets less dollars for the same currency.
She then asks the teller "why did i get less money this time?".. the teller says "fluctuations" ...
she looks at him and says "fluc-u-americans"..before walking away
Guy robs a bank
Throw the bag at the teller and says fill it up. She does so and he turns around to the person behind him and says
"Did u see me rob the bank?"
Person says "yes".
Bang shoots him dead.
Goes up to the next couple.
" Did u see me rob the bank?"
Guy says "I must have missed it, but my wife saw the whole thing!"
A man goes into a bank...
...and proceeds to walk up to the nearest bank teller and pulls out a gun:
"Make one wrong move and you're geography!"
"Don't you mean history?" asks the teller
"Don't change the subject!"
A man robs a bank wearing a balaclava.
'Did you see my face?' he asks the teller.
'Just a little bit.'
Bang. He shoots her.
'Did you see my face' he asks another teller.
'Only briefly' he says.
Bang. He shoots him.
He turns to a man standing beside him.
'Did you see my face?' he says 'No. I didn't,' says the man 'But my wife, she saw your face.'
A man walks into a bank and approaches the counter.
He yells "This is a f**...-up!"
Confused the bank teller asks "Don't you mean stick-up?"
The man scuffs his shoes on the carpet and says "No, I've left my gun at home.
So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...
Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!
In the process of robbing a bank, a robber's mask came off
He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her.
He then turned to a man, who just happened to be in the bank at the time of the robbery, then he asked if the man saw his face.
The man replied with, "No, but I'm pretty sure my wife did."
Check balance
Q: What happened when the man asked the bank teller to check his balance?
A: She pushed him over.
Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...
Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."
A nurse walks into a bank...
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a r**... thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some a**...'s got my pen."
Tired Nurse Joke
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 12-hour shift.
Preparing to write a check, she pulls a r**... thermometer out of her purse and
Tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and
Without missing a beat, she says . . .
''Well, that's great . . . Just great . . . Some a**...'s got my pen
Mistake
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway, so he went to the bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
So I walked into a bank with a bag of w**... to deposit...
The teller asked, "what are you doing?"
I said, "I wish to open a joint account!"
I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me
who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"
At the bank
Teller: This money is fake!
Kakabo: The money is mine, the account is mine. What is your problem? Just put it in.
A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.
"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"
So I was at my bank today.
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
An American walks into a swiss bank with two large bags
He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"
The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."
An old man goes to rob a bank...
He walks up to the teller, raises his walking stick up into the air and shouts "This is a stick up!"
BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose!
The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!
A woman walks into the bank with a giant glass jar filled with coins.
Impressed, the teller exclaims "Oh, my! Did your horde all this yourself?"
The woman replied and said, no my sister w**... for half of it.
A foreigner goes to a bank in Switzerland...
The teller asks the foreigner: "Would you like to make a deposit?"
The foreign man replies: "Yes I would."
The teller: "How much would you like to deposit?"
The man leans in and whispers: "Three million dollars..."
The teller: "Oh you can speak up. Being poor is no reason to be ashamed in Switzerland."
Bank employees
...are called "tellers". Remember that before you whisper secrets to them.
Did you hear?
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that robbed a bank and escaped?
She was a short, medium, at large.
Man tries to open a bank account
Teller asks him : "Your name?"
"J-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh"
"Oh you stutter?"
"No my dad did but the person who did by birth certificate was a complete m**...."
A man walks into a small bank
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
Exchange rate
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.
My bank called me today and asked if my card was stolen today
I said No, why do you ask
Bank teller: We have a transaction here for a gym membership, not sure if it was you or not
Bank Robber
A masked armed robber runs into a bank and up to the first teller. As he begins to tell her to give up the cash, his mask falls off. He puts it back on and then asks her if she saw his face. She replies yes, so he shoots her dead. Next teller is asked the same thing, replies yes and bang, dead. He then turns to a couple standing in line and asks the man if he saw his face. The man replies "No, but my wife did."
A guy walks into a bank
He goes up the the teller and asks, "Can you check my balance?" The teller says, "sure" and pushes him.
A woman enters the bank
She walks up to the teller and asks him to please check her balance.
He says sure and then shoves her over.
A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?
The robber screams, Don't change the subject!
Robbery
A robber walks up to a teller in a bank and says "Give me the money or you're geography"
The teller, confused, says "Don't you mean you're history?"
The robber says "Don't change the subject!"
Currency Fluctuations
An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.
He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"
The teller responds with a shrug, "Fluctuations"
The man gets very angry and storms out, stopping at the door to shout back, "Fluc your Americans too!"
A p**... goes to the bank to deposit her earnings
The teller starts flipping through the cash, and realizes it's counterfeited. When she tells the p**..., the response is "That can't be true. Please look over it again"
"Sorry ma'am, this really *is* counterfeit money"
The p**... takes a step back and says "Oh my, I've been *r**...*!"
A t**... girl is depositing money at the bank.
Teller: Did you hoard all this money yourself?
Girl: No, my sister w**... half of it.
A man runs into a bank...
He runs up to the teller and says "quick! I need you to do a magic trick!"
The teller says "but sir this is a bank."
The man sighs and says, "oh your no fun. Where's Pen?"
A Vampire walks into a bank and pulls a gun out
Hands up, this is a robbery! He declares, as he starts forcing the teller to fill a sack with cash.
One of the customers, cracking slightly under the pressure asks; Hey, shouldn't you be robbing a blood bank?
The vampire turns to them and grins.
No, see, I'm cursed. He explains.
Cursed?
Yep, I can only feed on smartasses, and there's always at least one when I pull this stunt.
What did the neckbeard pop-rapper say to the attractive bank teller examining his negative account balance?
Post M'loan?
Bank Teller: "Sir, your account is overdrawn."
Me: "So are your eyebrows, but you made it work, didn't you?"
A guy enters a bank and shouts "The money or else I'll tear down my mask!"
The teller says: "You prefer Canadian dollar, right?"
During an armed robbery at a bank, one teller hissed and whispered to the next teller.
"Here are the 100 bucks I owe you."
I was at my bank today...
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange money for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollars, today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
An angry robber at a Russian bank threatens to kill everyone. Goes up to a teller "I'm gonna kill you! I'm so angry. What's your name?"
"Olga," replies the terrified teller.
"Oh, I'm not gonna kill you, my mother's name was Olga"
Turns to a 6'4'' security guard
"I'm gonna kill you then. What's your name?"
Guard: "My name is Boris, but my friends call me Olga"
An old woman walks into a bank and asks the teller to check her balance.
So he pushed her over
A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man stammered, "Yes."
Bang! The robber shoots him.
He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"
Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work
It's a counter strike
A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen....
He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an 'ah so', and leaves.
He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, 'fluctuations'!!
He angrily grabs the cash and storms out. As he's leaving the branch he comes back in and yells at the top of his voice: 'fluc you Americans too!!!'
Me: I know p**... hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
**Bank Teller:** So— is this not a robbery?
**Me:** No, It is.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Doctor walks into a bank to make a deposit....
Teller says, Can you sign the deposit slip please? .
Doctor reaches into his pocket and brings out a r**... thermometer. He looks at it and then shakes his head. Aw c**... he says, some a**...'s got my pen!
A nurse walks into a bank…
A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after a 2 back to back 12 hour shifts.
She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a r**... thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the surprised teller and, without missing a beat, says, "Well that's just great! Some a**...'s got my pen!"
A retired banker went to a psychiatrist.
He said "For 30 years, I worked in a bank as a teller. Every day i would serve dozens of customers. I loved my job and never missed a day.
Last month, i retired.
Since then, every time i pass a bank, i have a huge craving to enter and take out money.
Even if i pass an ATM, i have to stop and take some cash out. I've got thousands of dollars in cash at home, yet every day i feel desperate to go to the bank and take out more.
What's wrong with me?"
The psychiatrist replied
"It sounds like you're having Withdrawal Symptoms."
Show me where the money is! , yelled the bank robber.
Teller: ........... .
Robber: *waving his gun* Tell me where the money is or I'll shoot!
Teller: ........... .
Penn: He always does this .
