The Best 35 Bank Robber Jokes

Following is our collection of Bank Robber jokes which are very funny. There are some bank robber deposit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bank robber robbery puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Bank Robber Jokes and Puns

Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...

Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'

Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"

Robber: "Don't change the subject."

Everyone in my family was a police officer, except for my grandad, who was a bank robber

He died last week

surrounded by his family

A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man stammered, "Yes."

Bang!Β  The robber shoots him.

He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"

Bank Robber joke, A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the fir

A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?

The robber screams, Don't change the subject!

So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...

Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!


A bank robber gets hold of the cash he needs but before fleeing the scene he demands the regular customers to stand in a line

The bank robber ask the first guy in line: "did you see what happened here?"

First guy: "I sure did! And I'm gonna tell the police exactly what happened and what you look lik..."
The bank robber shoots him in the head and ask the next in line the same question.

Second guy: "I assure you I did not see a thing... but my wife here did"

A bank robber's mask falls off mid-heist.

He makes eye contact with a hostage directly facing him and shoots him. He puts his mask back on and turns to face the other two hostages, a man and a woman. "Did either of you see my face?!" He yells.

The man answers, "I didn't, but I think my wife might have..."

Bank Robber joke, A bank robber's mask falls off mid-heist.

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"

The teller said "Don't you mean history?"

The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

Guy robs a bank...

While holding all of the customers hostage, he asks one guy, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The customer says that he did and the robber shoots him in the head.

He then asks another customer, "did you see me rob this bank?" and the guy says, "no, but my wife did."

A masked thief bursts into a bank...

As he climbs over the counter his balaclava catches and comes off for a second, before he quickly puts it back on.

The thief says to the cashier "did you see my face?", the cashier says "yes, I did!". Then the thief shoots her dead.

The thief then goes up to a customer and says "did you see my face?", the customer says "yes", then the robber shoots him right in the head.

The thief then runs up to a couple and says to the man "did you see my face?", then man says "no, but my wife did!".

Masked man robs a sperm bank...

... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"

Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a sperm bank, we don't have any money here."

I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.

"Now drink this viel!"

"But sir this is sperm!"

"I said drink!" and the nurse drank with disgust.

"Drink another!" and she emptied another viel with less resistance.

The robber reveals his face and nurse found out that the robber was actually her husband.

"Now Sharon, was it really that hard?"

You can explore bank robber loan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bank robber robbers dad jokes. There are also bank robber puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A masked man goes into a sperm bank.

A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says,
Open the safe.

She says, This isn't a real bank; it's a sperm bank.

He says, Open the safe or I'll shoot.

She opens the safe, and he says, Now take one of the bottles and drink it.

After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is
her husband.

He says, Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?

All my family are police officers. Except for my uncle who is a bank robber.

He died recently, surrounded by his family.

What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison?

One's a pro, and one's a con.

A Bank Robber Forgot His Mask

A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them.

One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what he said he would... he shot him. The robber asked the crowd if anyone else had seen his face...

One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse."

Indians Robbing a Bank

An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.

Bank Robber joke, Indians Robbing a Bank

A man robs a bank.

Robber: Give me all your money or you're geography!
Employee: Don't you mean history?
Robber: Don't change the subject...

A bank robber just finished his heist

Unfortunately, his mask accidentally dropped for a few seconds. He picked it up, put it back, then asked a guy kneeling next to him.

"Did you see my face?" Asked the robber.

"Yes, but I swear I won't-" A bullet went through the guy's head. Then the robber asked the next guy kneeling next to his wife.

"And you? Did you see my face"

"No, sir. But my wife did"

An angry robber at a Russian bank threatens to kill everyone. Goes up to a teller "I'm gonna kill you! I'm so angry. What's your name?"

"Olga," replies the terrified teller.
"Oh, I'm not gonna kill you, my mother's name was Olga"
Turns to a 6'4'' security guard
"I'm gonna kill you then. What's your name?"
Guard: "My name is Boris, but my friends call me Olga"


So a guy robs a bank...

When he runs out and down the street, he comes across another guy walking the opposite direction.

Robber points his gun at the man and says "Hey, did you see me rob that bank?"
Guy says "Yes."

The robber shoots him and runs down the street.

He comes across a man and his wife walking toward him.

The robber points his gun at them and says "Did you see me rob that bank?"

The husband points to his wife and says "No, but she did!"

In the process of robbing a bank, a robber's mask came off

He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her.

He then turned to a man, who just happened to be in the bank at the time of the robbery, then he asked if the man saw his face.

The man replied with, "No, but I'm pretty sure my wife did."

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

Once he is given
the money, he turns to a customer and asks,' Did you see me rob this
bank?'The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him and killed him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,
'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!

So i just saw a bank robber jump down some stairs while yelling about how terrible the cops were

guess you could say he was condescending

What's the difference between a bank and a bank robber?

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but give a man a bank and he can rob the whole world.

I went to the bank with my wife when an armed robber walked in, pulled on a balaclava and pulled out a gun.

He went up to a customer and asked "did you see my face?" The customer said "yes", so the robber shot him.

He asked another customer "did you see my face?" The customer said "yes" so the robber shot him.

He asked me "did you see my face?"

"No, but the wife did"

Four robber are robbing a bank

After opening the safe, the only thing they found is a box with about 200 yogurts. Furious because they didn't find the money, they eat all the 200 yogurts, thinking it'd upset the owner. As they were leaving, they ask the security where was all the money, to which the security answered: "What do you mean where's all the money? This is a sperm bank"

My armless uncle was a bank robber for 40 years and th e police couldn't ever capture him...

Apparently, they couldn't arrest him for armed robbery.

Say what you will about bank robbers...

At least they wear masks

[NSFW]Four robbers break into a bank at midnight.

As they open the vault, there are only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.

"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave.

The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

During a bank robbery

The robber asks the first person in line if they just saw how he robbed the bank.
"Well, obviously I did, I mean it's not that I'm blind or anything" the man says and BOOM the robber shoots him dead.
"And you, did you just witness this robbery?" he asks another man in the line.

"No, I didn't, but my wife here did!"

My Entire Family are Police Marksmen, Apart from my Granddad, who was a Bank Robber.

He died recently, surrounded by his family.

Bank Robber

A masked armed robber runs into a bank and up to the first teller. As he begins to tell her to give up the cash, his mask falls off. He puts it back on and then asks her if she saw his face. She replies yes, so he shoots her dead. Next teller is asked the same thing, replies yes and bang, dead. He then turns to a couple standing in line and asks the man if he saw his face. The man replies "No, but my wife did."

What did the cauliflower bank robber say to the broccoli getaway driver?

Floret.

Why do blondes make awful bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

Robbers got into a bank

In the bank there were only yogurts. The robbers were angry and confused so they ate the yogurts. The asked angrily one of the people there: What is this bank?
The person answered: This is the sperm bank.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bank robber heist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bank robber balaclava piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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