JokoJokes

Bank Rob Jokes

131 bank rob jokes and hilarious bank rob puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bank rob that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Bank Rob Short Jokes

Short bank rob jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bank rob humour may include short robbed bank jokes also.

  1. Two robbers were robbing a liquor store when one robber grabs a bottle and asks the other robber "is this whiskey?" The other says "yeah but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"
  2. Two burglars are robbing a liquor store. One turns to the other and asks, "Is this whiskey?"
    The other replies, "Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank."
  3. Two men are robbing a liquor store… One says, 'Is this whisky?'
    'Yes', the other replies, 'but not as whisky as wobbing a bank'
  4. Give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.
  5. I asked God for money I later found out that God doesn't work that way.
    So I robbed a bank, then asked for forgiveness.
  6. A man tries to rob a bank Man: "Where is the money!"
    Teller:
    Man: "Where is the money!"

    Teller:
    Penn: "He always does this."
  7. A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
    Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
  8. Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank once. Give a man a bank... ... and he'll rob everyone for the rest of their lives
  9. I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon
  10. Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one asks the other, "Is this whiskey?" The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."

Share These Bank Rob Jokes With Friends




Bank Rob One Liners

Which bank rob one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bank rob? I can suggest the ones about robbing bank and bank heist.

  1. Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank, Give a man a bank and he'll rob the world.
  2. In Soviet Russia, you rob banks... in Capitalist America, banks rob you!
  3. Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone
  4. Why couldn't the amputee rob the bank... Because he was unarmed
  5. Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing.
  6. What's the hardest part about being black and jewish? Having to rob your own banks.
  7. Why did the baker rob the bank? Because he kneads the dough.
  8. I decided to rob a blood bank They caught me red-handed.
  9. If banks have a penny for every time they robbed someone ... Oh wait, they do.
  10. Did you hear about the one-armed man that robbed the bank? He did it single-handedly.
  11. I robbed a bank dressed as a frog the other day It was the first time I Kermit-ed a crime
  12. Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He just burst in there, buns glazing!
  13. If a bank gets robbed by ghosts, then it's a Polterheist.
  14. What do you call a fruit that has been caught for bank robbing? a waterfelon
  15. What happened after the word bank was robbed? There was a run on sentences.

Bank Rob Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bank rob you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bank vault jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bank rob pranks.

So a guy robs a bank...

When he runs out and down the street, he comes across another guy walking the opposite direction.
Robber points his gun at the man and says "Hey, did you see me rob that bank?"
Guy says "Yes."
The robber shoots him and runs down the street.
He comes across a man and his wife walking toward him.
The robber points his gun at them and says "Did you see me rob that bank?"
The husband points to his wife and says "No, but she did!"

practicing with the violin

A little boy goes to his weekly violin lesson, but when he opens the violin case he blurts out a curse, and slams the case shut again.
"What's wrong?" asks the teacher.
"It seems my father is going to rob the bank with my violin"

I just successfully robbed a bank!

Now what to do with all this s**......

Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda.

You look s**... and you get nothing out of it.

Two men are robbing a liquor store...

The other one asks: "Isn't this whisky?"
The other answers: "Well, it's less whisky than a bank whobbewy."

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.

"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all t**... in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!

Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe

A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."

What do a call a midget psychic that just robbed a bank?

A Small, Medium, at Large

Did you hear about the three Mexicans who robbed a bank?

One of them was captured but the other two vanished without a tres.

Guy robs a bank

Throw the bag at the teller and says fill it up. She does so and he turns around to the person behind him and says
"Did u see me rob the bank?"
Person says "yes".
Bang shoots him dead.
Goes up to the next couple.
" Did u see me rob the bank?"
Guy says "I must have missed it, but my wife saw the whole thing!"

Did you hear the one about the three russians who robbed a bank?

The first was Stalin the cops, the second was Putin the money in the bag, and the third was Lenin a hand to the second.

Guy robs a bank...

While holding all of the customers hostage, he asks o**..., "Did you see me rob this bank?" The customer says that he did and the robber shoots him in the head.
He then asks another customer, "did you see me rob this bank?" and the guy says, "no, but my wife did."

A man robs a bank wearing a balaclava.

'Did you see my face?' he asks the teller.
'Just a little bit.'
Bang. He shoots her.
'Did you see my face' he asks another teller.
'Only briefly' he says.
Bang. He shoots him.
He turns to a man standing beside him.
'Did you see my face?' he says 'No. I didn't,' says the man 'But my wife, she saw your face.'

Masked man robs a s**... bank...

... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"

Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a s**... bank, we don't have any money here."
I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.
"Now drink this viel!"
"But sir this is s**...!"
"I said drink!" and the nurse drank with disgust.
"Drink another!" and she emptied another viel with less resistance.

The robber reveals his face and nurse found out that the robber was actually her husband.
"Now Sharon, was it really that hard?"

A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...

The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.
10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...
Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...
After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies!
I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

In the process of robbing a bank, a robber's mask came off

He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her.
He then turned to a man, who just happened to be in the bank at the time of the robbery, then he asked if the man saw his face.
The man replied with, "No, but I'm pretty sure my wife did."

Watch out for the black ice outside of the bank.

It'll rob you of your balance.

I wonder if they got jokes in Russia about "capitalistic America"...

In capitalistic America, bank robs you!

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.

They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"

After robbing a bank, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead

duck into an alley where they hide in potato sacks. The cops first go to the sack with the brunette in it and kick it. The brunette says, "Meow." They go to the sack with the redhead and kick it. She says, "Woof, woof." Last, they kick the sack with the blonde, and she says, "Po-ta-to."

o**... Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and h**... are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy

Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank?

After they were caught, they finished each other's sentences.

I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog.

It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime.

Last week i just robbed my first bank in my new Frog outfit.

I Kermited a major offense

TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses

When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.

An old man goes to rob a bank...

He walks up to the teller, raises his walking stick up into the air and shouts "This is a stick up!"

Did you hear about the vertically challenged psychic that robbed a bank?

Police say they're looking for a small medium at large.

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose!

The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!

During a bank robbery

The robber asks the first person in line if they just saw how he robbed the bank.
"Well, obviously I did, I mean it's not that I'm blind or anything" the man says and BOOM the robber shoots him dead.
"And you, did you just witness this robbery?" he asks another man in the line.
"No, I didn't, but my wife here did!"

A sodium ion went to rob a bank.

It was charged, without a doubt.

A Man named McMurphy is accused of robbing a bank...

On the last day of his trial, the foreman of the jury stands up.
"Have you reached a verdict?" asked the judge.
"We have your honor..." replied the foreman. "Not guilty!"
"Excellent!" shouted McMurphy "Does that mean i get to keep the money?"

The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars.

He made a clean getaway!

Did you hear about the two owls who agreed to rob a bank together?

They were in co-hoots.

A man robs a bank to get away from his wife...

As he sat on the steps of the bank waiting for the police to come he was relieved with thoughts of never having to see his wife again.
Later In the court room waiting for his ruling, he was excited to finally be somewhere far far away from her.
Seeing this the judge thought of the worst possible sentence that he can give him.
He was given 2 years house arrest.

How did the cross-dresser rob the bank?

By making a Trans-action

Bank robbery suspect

A bank in Manhattan was robbed by a n**... woman yesterday.
"It is likely she'll never be caught" said Police "No one could remember her face."

My Mother-in-law robbed a bank and is on the run from the police

Now she's my Mother-out-law

A man in France tried to rob a bank using underwear as a mask...

...the cops put him in jail right after a quick debriefing.

Did you hear of the American who robbed a bank in Latvia?

Turns out potatoes aren't a valid currency in the US.

A n**... woman robbed a bank..

No one could remember her face.

The FBI is interviewing a bank manager who's been robbed 3 times by the same guy.

The agent says, "did you notice anything distinct about him when he came into the bank?"
Manager replies, "only that each time he showed up, he was much better dressed."

A group dressed in panda masks tried to rob a bank...

It was an embarrassment.

What's the difference between a bank and a bank robber?

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but give a man a bank and he can rob the whole world.

A man robs a bank.

Robber: Give me all your money or you're geography!
Employee: Don't you mean history?
Robber: Don't change the subject...

I tried to rob a s**... bank

But had to make a break for it because I heard the cops coming.

Farmer and Son

A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank
This year, I can't plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field."
The son wrote back, Papa, don't dare plow the field That is where I hid the money I stole.
The police intercepted the letter and by the next day they'd dug up the entire field but found nothing. The son wrote to his father, Now you can plant your potatoes.

Four robber are robbing a bank

After opening the safe, the only thing they found is a box with about 200 yogurts. Furious because they didn't find the money, they eat all the 200 yogurts, thinking it'd upset the owner. As they were leaving, they ask the security where was all the money, to which the security answered: "What do you mean where's all the money? This is a s**... bank"

Out of desperation, I robbed a bank dressed as a frog and being a novice, the cops caught me right away. I thought I was going away to the big house for a very long time, but surprisingly, the judge was lenient and let me go...

...because it was the first time I had ever Kermitted a crime.

Was in line at the bank today

When a man walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a white and red walking stick, demanding all our money.
He was robbing us blind!

Who told the christian to rob a bank?

Jesus Heist

Earlier today

A n**... woman robbed a bank.
So far no one is able to identify her face.

What do you call it if a ghost robs a bank?

A poltergheist.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank?

He ran away so fast that he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

A bad speller tried to rob a bank.

He came in wearing a baklava.

Desperate for money, I robbed a bank today. My heart sank when I heard a voice boom, "This is the police! We have all the exits surrounded, so come out with your hands up!"

I escaped through the entrance...

Indians Robbing a Bank

An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.

What's a bank robbing dogs favorite weapon?

A pawed-off shotgun.

He's so lazy, that if he robbed a bank he wouldn't even count the money.

He'd just wait to find out in the news report.

A Vampire walks into a bank and pulls a gun out

Hands up, this is a robbery! He declares, as he starts forcing the teller to fill a sack with cash.
One of the customers, cracking slightly under the pressure asks; Hey, shouldn't you be robbing a blood bank?
The vampire turns to them and grins.
No, see, I'm cursed. He explains.
Cursed?
Yep, I can only feed on smartasses, and there's always at least one when I pull this stunt.

A man with terminal cancer robbed a bank and was sent to prison.

A fellow inmate asked him, "Why did you commit this crime? You can't take money with you into the afterlife, and now you're going to spend your last days in prison!"
The man replied, "I knew I was going to get caught. That's the point! My doctor gave me six months, but the judge gave me thirty years."

Did you guys hear that Nicolas Cage robbed all the coins from a bank recently? Luckily he got caught and went to jail, plus all of the money got returned!

He's currently in a Nickleless nicolas cage Cage

A man is robbing a bank

The bankrobber comes out of the bank and sees a man watching him. He runs to the man and asks him: "Did you just see me come out of that bank?"
The man says yes, and immediatly gets shot by the bankrobber.
He turns around and sees a couple standing there shocked. He runs to them and asks the man of the couple: "Did you just see me come out of that bank?"
The man answers: " I didn't saw you, but my wife did"

A pregnant woman walks into a bank being robbed,

She tried to call the cops and got shot in the stomach three times. Luckily, all her children were safe.
15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Then, her other daughter walked into the room and she said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Finally, her son came in and she assumed she knew what he was going to say, "Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
The son replied, "No, what? I was m**... and I shot the dog."

In capitalist America...

Bank robs you!