Bangkok Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

"It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room.

And never visited Bangkok again.

"It's a boy! " Frank exclaimed. "It's a boy!"

And he never visited Bangkok ever again.

"It's a boy!" Mario shouted. "It's a boy!"

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again.

Free sex tonight

At a travel agency in Bangkok, I asked the Thai girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,

"Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight".

I replied, "Wow, you Thai women are really hospitable!"

A guy standing next to me who had overheard our conversation tapped me on the shoulder and said,

"Don't get too excited. What she really said was: 666136429."

Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways

going to Bangkok.

Confucius say...

Confucius say, man going thru airport turnstyle sideways Going to Bangkok.

This one's true. A work colleague of mine told me she went to Bangkok on her honeymoon. I replied,

I know you did, but where did you go?

Don't ever drive your car through Bangkok

You might blow a tranny

What's the worst word to get in charades?


Made in Thailand

Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?

He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.


Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?

It was a Thai.

Confucious say:

Man who go through turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently.

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently. He requested for two masseurs, one for him and another for his wife.

After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai massuer said, "Massage pinis". He kept ghastly quiet pretending not to have heard it.

Again, the massuer repeated herself, "Massage pinis". Again he kept quiet, turned his face away from wife and gave a cheeky smile.

Then the wife shouted across, "How many times do you need her to repeat? She said massage has finished!!

Man who walks through airport turnstiles sideways....

is going to Bangkok

On the train in Bangkok....

...a young, long-haired, busty Thai sat down directly opposite me & started putting on lipstick.

I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection."

But he did.

What do men in Thailand say when they can't get girls?

Phuket! I'm just going to Bangkok instead!

Why can no one win at the Bangkok Olympics ?

Because it's always a THAI game.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn't Bangkok.


How did the Bread contest end? Stalemate.

What about the weed smoking contest? There were *joint* winners!

What about the competition to see who could locate Bangkok the quickest on a map? Was a Thai.

And that sketching contest? A draw.

Man who goes through airport turnstile sideways,

Going to Bangkok

It's a Boy! James shouted, It's a Boy!!! i still can't believe it! ..with tears rolling down ,James came running out

.....swearing never ever to come back to Bangkok again! xD

Why can't you ever win on a sex trip to Bangkok?

Cuz you always finish in a Thai

Confusious says

Man who go through turnstile at airport sideways, always going to Bangkok.

What is a Thai person's finishing fight move.


Why is Bangkok so safe?

Because there are so many Ex-Men

I was at a barber shop in Bangkok and I asked to get my hair dyed, and for the barber to surprise me. I noticed that it was taking a bit longer than hair dyeing normally would, and when I looked at the finished job in the mirror, I noticed that they were in rainbow swirls.

When I asked the barber, "What is this?" he told me,"Well, it's a Thai dye."

I really regret what I did in the capital of Thailand


Arranging a business trip.

"Hello I need to book a business trip to Thailand."

"Are you going to Bangkok?"

"No, I'm just going to Phuket."

I've lost a friend after we chopped up a man from Bangkok together

We severed Thais

It's a boy!

"It's a boy", Jimbo shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, Jimbo came running out of the room.

And never returned to Bangkok again.

What's a gay Asian's favourite city?


What did the volcano say after 3 years in Bangkok?

Me lava you long time.

A man who walks through airport turnstile sideways...

is going to Bangkok.


~From the movie: On A Clear Day

Was having a chat with my friend today about what we regretted doing

At one point, he mentioned that he regretted what he did in the capital of Thailand.
Who told you.

Confucius says

Man entering airport door sideways bound to Bangkok

Are you able to untie a Thai?

If no, then that means you can't Bangkok

What do you call a brothel in Bangkok?

A tourist trap

Whats it called when a girl in bangkok gets a letter?


A rouge English cavalier from the Middle Ages is magically sent into the future to depose Thailand's most ruthless dictator.

One knight in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.

Old Chinese Proverb

Says "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok"

What are the funniest bangkok jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Bangkok? Well, here are the best Bangkok puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Bangkok pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes