The Best 57 Banged Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Banged jokes. There are some banged bulimic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these banged thump puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Banged Jokes and Puns

The wife and I had been kept awake by the couple in the apartment below because their bed was squeaking while they had sex.

We banged hard on the floor in protest.

A man runs into his lovers ex...

A man runs into his lovers ex-boyfriend at the bar. The ex says, "how is the old nag?" The man says, " A little banged up on the surface, but down deep, she's good as new!"

So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today...

As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"

To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?"

Banged joke, So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today...

A husband was sitting at the table when his wife banged him over the head with a frying pan...

"What did you do that for?" He asked. The wife said, "I found this peace of paper with the name Mary Lou on it." He said, "Oh that's just the name of the horse I put a bet on."

The next day she banged him over the head again, this time with an even bigger frying pan. He said, "Good Lord, why did you do that again?" "Your horse just called." She said.

A woman walks up to me and says "give me 12 inches and make it hurt"....

So i banged her 4 times and hit her w/ a brick

Heard of the man who banged an ATM?

He came into a lot of money

What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They both banged JFK

Banged joke, What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

What was I like in high school?

You know that guy who drove a Camaro and banged all the cheerleaders? I'm the reason he passed calculus…

A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum.

He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.

Headline in the local newspaper next day read,

"Nut Screws Washer and Bolts .

My GF told me she wanted a dog

So I banged her best friend.

I'm tired of seeing "Hey OP, I banged your mom" comments every time I post a submission....

I never should have given dad my username.

You can explore banged poked reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean banged clang dad jokes. There are also banged puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My wife saw a psychic and found out I was cheating

That's the last time I banged a psychic

I used to think hard work beats luck..

until a leprechaun banged my wife while I was at the office

A girl bangs a calculator on the desk to make it work

Math teacher: why are you making noise

Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm banging it to make it work

Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table


My wife told me to give her 6 inches and make it hurt

So I banged her 3 times and punched her in the face

My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe

She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight

Banged joke, My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe

I was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door.

I banged on the wall and shouted, "For God's sake, keep it down!"

If the big bang theory, how I met your mother and two and a half men had ever crossed over it would've been called

How I banged your mother with two and a half men

Her: Do I look fat in these jeans?

Him: Will you hate me if I tell the truth?
Her: No.
Him: Are you sure?
Her: YES! I'm sure.
Him: I banged your sister.

My next door neighbor banged on my door at 3:00 am last night.

Fortunately, I was wide awake, playing my bagpipes on the back porch at the time.

My next door neighbour banged on my door at 3am last night

Not sure how he got out of my basement but I'm glad the front door was locked

Clyde was about to be born in a stable

A guy walked in, banged his head and yelled Jesus Christ! ,

The other man then responded that's better than Clyde, let me write that down .

What do you get when you combine How I Met Your Mother, 2 and a Half Men, and The Big Bang Theory

How 2 and a Half Men Banged Your Mother.

My neighbors yelled and banged my door 3 in the morning, literally 3!

Luckly, I was still up practicing my bagpipe.

My next door neighbor is Bulimic and she was making so much noise last night, that I banged on the wall and shouted...

"For goodness sake, keep it down!"

Dating a girl after a dry spell is like going food shopping when you're hungry

Except my food never banged my roommate while I was at work

I live in a tiny apartment, what's the difference between a blind friend and your mom coming to visit me there?

None, they're both gonna get banged on every piece of furniture there is.

Xbox Live has made me a better parent

My son can never win an argument after I tell him I banged his mom.

Did you hear of the cop who banged the crazy hooker he arrested?

I guess you can say he busted a nut.

My wife told me I had a face only a mother could love.

Good thing I banged her when she was drunk all those years ago.

My wife doesn't understand daylight savings time

But hey, who could think straight after being banged for an hour and 2 minutes


Is what went through my head when I banged your mother

What does a pickle jar and your mom have in common?

I banged them both on the kitchen bench

She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt...

So I banged her twice and hit her in the back of the head with a brick.

Over the years I've slept with a ton of women

Now does that sound better than saying I've only banged your mum and sister?

I banged a Chinese chick last night.

She was screaming "I'm Wei Tu Yung" all the time. Like I want to know her name or something.

Me: Do you like broccoli?

"Do you like curry?"
"Then you won't like what I did?"
"Did you cook broccoli or curry for me?"
"No, I banged your sister."

Today I can finally say that I've banged all of my classmates

I'm homeschooled

***Sweet home Alabama***

I think i banged a chinese celebrity

My friends told me her name was Sum Yung Ho

My wife was feeling frisky before work today. She said give me a foot and make it hurt!

So I banged her twice and punched her in the mouth.

A friend of mine told me once that she had banged Nathan Fillion at a convention a few years back.

Still not sure if that was fan fiction or fan friction.

My sisters boyfriend hates me

Because I banged his girl 7 times 😎

An Oracle Once Told me..

That it was fate that I had banged my leg into a table at school.

I guess it was my.. Desk to knee.

My wife told me to be more spontaneous and funny...

But she was all screaming and tears, when I banged on the kitchen window dressed in a clown outfit!

My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.

I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"

"Sir?" I asked.

"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."

"Yes, sir"

"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you would take care of her!"

"Yes, sir"

"And you promised me that if she moved in with you and took care of the house she could quit her job and you would cover her weekly income!"

"Yes sir, but I believe this is simple misunderstanding. When I said that, it was two words, not one."

"I banged the hottest chick of my class and now the whole town is talking about it."

~ Walter, 52, primary school teacher

Two old guys are sitting in a park and talking

The first guy says: "You know, I went to a brothel the other day"

"Oh yeah? And what happened?"

"I banged for two hours!"

"Two hours?! At your age?!"

"Yeah, and those whores still wouldn't let me in"

Why are all the people on xbox who banged your mom 12

Cuz salt is a preservative

My neighbour banged on my door yesterday asking if I'd seen who stole her laundry off her line.

I got such a fright I almost wet her panties.

I banged my school teacher

With my car , she was annoying.

What's the difference between the trash can in the Houston Astros dugout and me?

That trash can is getting banged

What happened when Moses banged his shin into the corner of the coffee table?


So I banged my 3rd cousin the other day

I'm really surprised how I even managed to bang more than two of my cousins

So i banged my 3rd cousin yesterday...

My buddy told me to stop counting them

My neighbour just banged on the wall at 4.20am, can you believe it!!? Luckilly I was still up playing music.

He banged and shouted ' can we have a little respect please!'

I shouted back..., 'I'm not a big Erasure fan, but ok this one's for you!'

Why did I get kicked out

All I did was go to the bank and the woman in front of me asked me if I could check her balance its not my fault she banged her head after

My neighbour banged on the wall at 430am this morning!!!!

Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.

They banged and shouted "Can we have a little respect please?"

I shouted back "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this ones for you"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the banged knock jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working banged slam piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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