Bang Jokes

Funniest Bang Short Jokes

Short bang jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bang humour may include short ding jokes also.

1. At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, Can you tell me what happened before The Big Bang? The professor replied, Sorry. No Time.
2. A man walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep. His wife looks horrified... "See? See what I have to bang when you're not in the mood?"
   The sheep says "Myyyyyyyy god. You weren't lying..."
3. My next door neighbor is Bulimic and she was making so much noise last night, that I banged on the wall and shouted... "For goodness sake, keep it down!"
4. I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall. I heard a bang. "3:45 PM", he said.
5. Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
6. A physics student asked her professor to describe what happened right before the Big Bang... ....but the professor couldn't, because there was no time.
7. I remember when I was a kid, at dinner my parents gave me a knife and fork, so I'd bang them on the table.. ..We were quite an incestuous family.
8. A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum. He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.
   Headline in the local newspaper next day read,
   "Nut Screws Washer and Bolts .
9. My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight
10. Correcting killed the cat, said a stranger standing next to a man. No, that was curiosi… a loud bang and flash of light silenced him quickly

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Bang One Liners

Which bang one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bang? I can suggest the ones about bung and boom.

1. Never bang someone old enough to be your mom especially if you were adopted
2. What do you get if you cross Putin with a... Bang! You don't cross Putin!
3. What goes clop-clop,bang-bang,clop-clop? Amish drive-by.
4. What happened before the Big Bang? Of course, The Big Foreplay.
5. What came before the Big Bang? The Big Foreplay.
6. "On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades" - probably Helen Keller
7. Good cop: where is the money? Blind cop: *bangs fists on the table* WHERE IS EVERYTHING
8. Hey girl, are you the big bang? Cause you're pretty hot, but very dense
9. Why is your mother like the universe? They both create gravity waves when they bang.
10. Somebody threw a rock at me with bgna written on it That's bang out of order
11. When testing, make like a frat boy And bang out the easy ones first
12. What came before the Big Bang? "Allahu Akbar!"
13. I'd like to explain what happened before the big bang Unfortunately there's no time
14. It looks like this election won't end with a bang But with a WI/MI/PA
15. Heard of the man who banged an ATM? He came into a lot of money

Big Bang Jokes

Here is a list of funny big bang jokes and even better big bang puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God... I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far.
• I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party... and she woke up with more clothes on.
  (Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke)
• We were all created by a big bang Or according to most Mom's a quick somewhat disappointing one
• Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang. Your mom put an ad on Craigslist.
• I thought Samsung's would name their next phone Big Bang Cause their Galaxy blew up
• Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television... In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.
• What followed the Big Bang? The Big Cigarette
• What do humans and the universe have in common? Both started with a big bang
• According to the Big Bang Theory the universe began in Arizona Our whole universe was in a hot dense state
• I was trying to think of what the universe was like before the big bang. Nothing came to mind.

Hair Bang Jokes

Here is a list of funny hair bang jokes and even better hair bang puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a hair that explodes? Bangs. 😀
• Q: What happens when you eat bullets? A: Your hair grows out in bangs.
• If you ask your hair dresser for the Zooey Deschanel... You're really just getting more bang for your buck.
• People think that having long hair and bangs is emo. I think its more appropriate to cut it.
• Did you hear about the barber who cut almost all of his hair off and then died? They say he went out with a bang.
• What's another name for bright hair? Flash bangs
• What happens when you eat fireworks? Your hair comes out in bangs.
• I cut some hair off the front of my wife's head and took it to dinner because I wanted to go out with a bang
• How does an atheist girl have her hair done? In big bangs!
• What did they say about the girl with wooden hair? 10/10 Wood bangs

Bang Ding Jokes

Here is a list of funny bang ding jokes and even better bang ding puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What sound did the Chinese space station make as it broke apart? Bang Ding Ow

Wanna Bang Jokes

Here is a list of funny wanna bang jokes and even better wanna bang puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the boy gun say to the girl gun? Wanna bang?

Entertaining Bang Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about bang you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bang pranks.