Bands Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Bands puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Bands

An assistant to Donald Trump

>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** 
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.** 
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!** 
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"** 
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**

I like metal bands with female lead singers...

Something about women screaming makes me rock hard.

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands.

There is no cure.

U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands.

Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners.

I'm not going to let my kids listen to symphonies and big bands...

too much sax and violins


How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb?

Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of.

Just thought of this

So I was at a hippy music festival and after the show I met a few bands back stage. I saw a bassist sitting in the corner by himself so I sat next to him and asked.

"Hey man, my name is Mark. Whats your name, what you been up to?"

"Benjamin"


I have a pun about rubber bands...

But it's a bit of a stretch.

I like rock bands named after their lead singers

Like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and Tool.

A bass player found a genie

A bass player found a genie, rubbed it and said I want to be the best bass player in all of America

the genie responded your wish is my command and he spent the next few years touring with some of the biggest bands in the country

He eventually got bored of just staying in America so he found the genie again and said I want to be the best bass player in the world

The genie responded your wish is my command and he was suddenly on a world wide tour.

He eventually got bored and found the genie one more time and said I want to be better than any bass player has ever been

Suddenly he was on tour as the rhythm guitarist of a middle school cover band

Doctor: "Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"

Patient: "Oh my god. What is the cure??!"


I bought one of those anti-bullying charity wrist bands the other day

I say bought, I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

I've just been diagnosed with a rare form of amnesia where I can't remember a small amount of 80's music bands.

Unfortunately there is no cure.

Did you know most Christian bands have a favourite chord?

Gsus

A joke my mom told me today

One day Donald Trumps assistant told him, he had a fantastic dream last night. There was a huge parade in Washington, where he (Trump) was celebrated. Millions lined the parade route and cheered when the president came by. Bands played, children threw confetti in the air, there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest festival Washington had ever seen. Trump was very pleased and said "that's really great, what did I look like in your dream? Was my hair okay?" His assistant said: "I can't say that, the coffin was closed"

A boy was snapping rubber bands on his friends arm

He kept doing it in the same spot every second, over and over again until the friend eventually said, "Ouch, that one Hertz."

My Neighbors like my bands music...

so much they recently threw a Brick threw my Window to hear it better!

As a Christian I can't Believe there are Billy Idol Cover Bands

The Bible is very clear that we should not have False Idols

Why can't creationists ever get girls in rock bands?

They aren't very good at carbon dating.


I made a jam bands playlist on Spotify

It's 16 hours long and only has 5 songs on it

How do emo bands prepare for their shows?

They self-harmonize.

Did you know Kurt Cobain constantly criticized other musicians and bands?

He was always shooting his mouth off.

Ray Manzarek, Ric Ocasek, and Sting were talking about forming a new band after moving on from their previous bands.

They were going to call themselves The Police Car Doors.

What do 90's boy bands and blue spruce trees have in common?

They all have frosted tips.

K-pop bands don't have groupies.

No Korean in their right mind would sleep with a fan.

As a result of deforestation, many species lost their natural habitat

Including Folk music bands.

What do you call musical groups that are exclusively made of masseuses?

Rubber bands

What did the Chinese statistician use to tally the number of Swedish bands?

An ABBAcus

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs
My Chemical Imbalance.
Youth In Asia

The thing about the best bands, is...

..their music is technically sound.

10 Bands Stevie Wonder Hasn't Seen, 1 is a lie.

* 1-9 bands other than The Darkness
* 10 The Darkness

Do Christian rock bands still bang groupies?

Yes, they just don't use birth control.

I have a particular disease for which I deny the existence of some 80s bands

There is no cure

I have a Polish friend who does microphone tests for bands.

I have a Czech one two. Czech one two. Czech one two.

How many sexual predators does it take to start a local music scene?

Come to the show and find out. It starts at 8, $10 to get in girls get in free if they show their tits, our bands on at 10 you should definitely check us out we're really good I've been trying to get us a record deal. Anyway you trying to come to my place after this I have a 12 pack of twisted teas at home?

Looking for jokes about Boy Bands!!!

Hosting a sing-a-long drink-a-long and need some jokes with boy bands as a theme. Please help!

Eric Clapton and Paul Weller were going to take their bands on a reunion tour of the West Country

But they couldn't decide who should go on first.

There has been a multiple thefts of rubber bands in our office...

I guess you can say we have a Rubber Bandit

Have you heard the latest by Lady Marmalade and the Pectin Pack?

Oh wait, I forgot you don't like jam bands

Why aren't Gingers allowed in Jazz bands?

Not enough soul.

What were Helen Keller's favorite bands?

The Deftones and Blind Melon

I apologize for not knowing my 90's boy bands.

I was never *NSYNC with the trends.

For some reason, I never could get into the male emo bands of the 00s.

I'm guessing it's because there was just too much wangst.

What's a marching bands favorite Germanic Tribe?

The Saxons

My fiancee and I have matching engraved wedding bands ready for the wedding!

Inscription reads: waranty void if removed

TIL Christian bands have a favourite chord.

G sus

Did you hear the largest rubber band ball has 200 Million rubber bands?

I think it's a bit of a stretch.

those old boy bands get all the luck. My back aches all the time and I'm not even 40 yet. However, Backstreet's back...

alright.

I don't like jazz bands much because at least one member in every band is a saxist.

The bands Jet and Government Mule are on tour for the USO...

Since they are touring together, they are advertised on the signs as Jet-Mule. They are preparing to perform a charity concert. At the concert, the event organizers plan to welcome the former members of Seal Team Six onto the stage. Right before the concert is planned to start, an intern runs to the director of the event and says "Sir! Sir! Someone has beat up the Seals. They're seriously hurt! They're covered in bruises! They're covered in welts!" The director says "Do we know who did this?" The intern replies "A witness said it was the band who hurt them." The director says "Well, that's impossible." "How do you know?" asked the intern.

"Because," he said, "Jet-Mule can't welt Seal teams."

Nazi's need to hire their old fashion designer back...

... the arm bands at least looked cool, these new hats are just ugly.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes