Bandits Jokes

Following is our collection of platoon humor and lookout one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bandits puns for adults, dirty clint jokes or clean gang gags for kids.

There is an abundance of chiefs jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 8 funniest jokes on bandits. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any prairie witze you can hear about bandits.

The Best jokes about Bandits

So to celebrate the Halloween season...

... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.

An artist lives next to a Marsh.

Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."

Saw this joke performed a few years back. Enjoy.

Three men are wandering the woods, and are captured by bandits. The bandits line them up and are ready to shoot them, when out of nowhere, the first man yells "Tornado!"

Everyone looks around in a panic, and by the time they realize there isn't a tornado, the first man is gone. The bandits get ready to fire again, when the second man yells "Earthquake!"

Everyone drops down and covers their heads, expecting a tree to fall on them. By the time the bandits realize they've been fooled again, the second man is gone.

The bandits aim their guns at the last man, when suddenly, he yells "Fire!!!"

...

It was a dark and stormy night...

It was a dark and stormy night on buffalo hill... a group of bandits sat around a campfire... one of the bandits said to the captain, "tell us a story captain"... the captain said...
It was a dark and stormy night on buffalo hill... a group of bandits sat around a campfire... one of the bandits said to the captain, "tell us a story captain"... the captain said...
It was a dark and stormy night on buffalo hill... a group of bandits sat around a campfire... one of the bandits said to the captain, "tell us a story captain"... the captain said...
It was a dark and stormy night on buffalo hill... a group of bandits sat around a campfire... one of the bandits said to the captain, "tell us a story captain"... and the captain shot the man dead.

Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, and Vladimir Putin are being chased by a horde of angry Arab bandits.

"Please stop chasing us, I'll pay you!" Trump screams, but the bandits just keep charging.

"Please stop chasing us, I can get your countries accepted into the EU!" Merkel yells, but the bandits seem to dislike this offer and continue the charge.

"I have an idea," says Putin. He turns around to face the bandits, smiles, and says, "Prevyet, comrades! You are now crossing the border of the mighty Russian Federation!"

All the bandits flee screaming.


How do thieves kiss?

They make out like bandits.

What do you call a group of musicians who stole all of their instruments?

Bandits.

My girlfriend and I like to wear balaclavas when kissing

so we can make out like bandits

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes