Bandage Jokes

Following is our collection of bandaid humor and reattached one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bandage puns for adults, dirty scenter jokes or clean blister gags for kids.

There is an abundance of sinister jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 10 funniest jokes on bandage. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any gauze witze you can hear about bandage.

The Best jokes about Bandage

After a night out partying, my brother shows up with a huge bandage on his nose. His girlfriend said,"His nose was broken in three places."

Turns out it was exactly the same three places I had warned him not to go when he'd been drinking.

John: Carl, why do you have a bandage on your ear?

Carl: I was ironing my shirts and my phone rang. I picked up the iron instead of the the phone and burned my ear.

John: I get that. But why do you have a bandage on the other ear?

Carl: Well, the phone rang again.

Suit sales.

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.

Guess what, sir? the clerk said. I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!

Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?! the manager asked.

That's the one!

That's great! the manager cried, I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?

Oh, the clerk replied, after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me.

A Dog Walks Into Bar...

A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "We don't serve dogs in here," pulls out a pistol and shoots the dog in a hind paw. The dog hops yelping out of the bar.

The next day the dog walks back into the bar with a huge bandage on his hind foot. He's wearing a ten-gallon hat and has a six-gun on each hip.

He looks at everyone in the bar and says...

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Sold The Suit

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly
suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.

"That's the one!"

That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that
monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog
bit me."


[Cringe] Why did the farmer bandage the goat?

Because it was "bleat"ing...

Giving blood

While eating at a hospital cafeteria a guy noticed a women with a cotton ball and bandage on her arm causing him to asked, did you just give blood? Why yes she said, and I got twenty five dollars for it too. You should try it. No thanks he said, I just came from the sperm bank and got three hundred dollars for that.
About a month later he runs into her again at the hospital. Are you back giving blood, he asked. With her cheeks puffed out, shaking her head no she muttered, um-um, um-um.

Today I tried to remove a bandage

I couldn't pull it off

What bandage does Rico Rodriguez use?

Just Gauze.

What do you call a woman with a bandage around her lower leg?

Sinead

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes