The Best 87 Band Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Band jokes. There are some band ting jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these band orchestra puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Band Jokes and Puns

I've just started a new band..

We are called '999 Megabytes'.....we have not done a gig yet.

Aerosmith

According to fellow band members, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady.

What is Santa's favorite band?

Slayer.

Band joke, What is Santa's favorite band?

I used to be in a band called The Prevention...

We were better than the Cure.

What is the Jenovah Witnesses' favourite band?

The doors.


My band is called 1023MB

We haven't gotten a gig yet

The band The Doors have decided to change their name after the next member dies

It's gonna be Three Doors Down.

Band joke, The band The Doors have decided to change their name after the next member dies

A young bride and groom to be

A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.

What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band?

Sleigher

If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm

The difference between a rock band and a jazz group

The rock band will play 3 chords in front of 1000 people.

The jazz group will play 1000 chords in front of 3 people.

You can explore band frontman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean band jovi dad jokes. There are also band puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs.

lol

I made a band called Erectile Dysfunction

We never made it big.

I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat

We're like Modest Mouse but way better

I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets'

We've already been called the best cover band of all time

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.

They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.

They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".

Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down!

Then I heard this Muslim guy saying he had the entire Koran on a DVD.

I was interested, so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"

Well that was when the trouble started.

Band joke, Muslim Band

What do you call a band of killer whales?

An orcastra

I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..


There's this band called one thousand and twenty three megabytes

They haven't had any gigs yet.

Have you heard of the band 1023 Megabytes?

They've never had any gigs.

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band.

I would stand at the back, doing my ting.

If Al Gore had a band, it'd be called...

The Algorithms.

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :(

I started a band call 999 megabytes

We haven't got a gig yet.

If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback.

I'll let myself out.

Have you heard of the musical condoms?

They started a rubber band.

A man asks a bartender: "How late does the band play?"

"Only about half a beat behind the drummer." The bartender replies.

Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"

"Band? We thought you said ban"

Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"

There's a band called 1023MB

It hasn't had any gigs yet.

Best explanation of Star Wars

The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack which kills 300'000 people.

Boy wants a car from his Dad

the Dad says, "first you gotta cut that hair."

Boy says, "but Dad, Jesus had long hair"

and Dad says
"that's right son, and Jesus walked everywhere"

(credit goes to the band The Silver Jews)

I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'

You've probably seen our posters.

If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.

If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.

Life is hard in a band

Me and the guys started a rock band, we call it 1023MB. But no matter how hard we look we cant find a gig.

Had to quit my band after nobody came to any of our gigs.

Going to miss the boys from "Private Function".

My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..

"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.

"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."

"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.

"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.

"But don't they just fall off?"

"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."

I found out about this cool underground band called The Beatles.

Well actually only about half of them are underground at the moment.

I started a new band called 1023MB

We still haven't got a gig.

A Rock Band Plays 3 Chords for a 3000 Person Crowd

Where as a jazz player will play 3000 chords for a 3 person crowd.

Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band?

Guns N' Moses

Ban?????

"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"

"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."

"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"

My mate is in a band called NS. At first, I was fascinated to find out what it stands for. But now I'm not too bothered.

It's nothing special.

People need to stop putting flyers on my car.

I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."

I'm in a band called 1023 Megabytes.

We haven't made it to a gig yet.

Budum dum crash

If a drummer quits band, but comes back later, would there be repercussions?

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.

"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"

With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."

My friends and I started a band and called it 'Books' so..

No one can judge us by our covers.

I don't understand why Ice Cube hates the police so much...

They are a really good band

Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?

Too much sax and violins.

I'm going to start a metal band that writes songs about how important it is to connect with people in your professional network...

...and call it LinkedIn Park.

I'll show myself out now.

I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums.

He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.

I like to sleep with a fan on me at night.

It's why I'm divorcing my wife to join a band

Metallica and Nonmetallica should come together...

To form a ionic band

What's a Hogwarts student's favourite boy band? [NSFW]

Wand Erection.

Have you heard of the band 999 megabytes?

Probably not, they haven't got a gig yet

I'm in a band called The Introverted Pessimists

You've probably never heard of us, but that's fine.

My girlfriend is in a band

My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.

It was a cymbal of my love.

I hope this is an original joke.

So I started a new band.

We scream aggressively about how broke we are to heavy guitar riffs.

We're called Debt Metal.

Did you hear about the bed bug band?

They mostly play covers

(OC my dudes, read em and weep)

We had a band in High School called 1023 Megabytes.

We never made it to a gig.

Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.

The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:

'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"

"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.

Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:

'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"

The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"

The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:

'MY GOD!'"

My band used to have a Polish sound guy.

And we also had a Czech one, too.

Why are band and orchestra rated R?

All the sax and violins

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band.

But I got bored and quit because it was just one ting after another.

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.

One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"

Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."

"There is no band on this ship."

"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."

I used to know a guy who was in a band called 999 megabytes.

They were pretty good but they never made a gig.

I was in a band called Dark Web.

We was always on tor.

I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"

.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.

Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!

I met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan

She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical.

Then I saw her place...

I don't understand all this hate towards the police...

...I mean they're an amazing band.

I'm no expert on covid-19 but I do know the cure

They are an amazing band from the 80s.

I played bass on the original Scooby Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!

Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the Scooby Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band

Had to leave cause it was one ting after another

My Father says he was in an 80's band...

I don't believe him but he's ADAMANT (sorry, I made that up!)

The band U2 recently developed a GPS...

It's terrible! The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!

What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a dick-shaped cake?

Vulgar display of flour.

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva...

Def Leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving

Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.

Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.

I used to be in a band called boomerang

We're about to have a big comeback.

Have you heard of a French ABBA cover band with just 3 members?

They're not any good, completely butcher the songs.

They're called ABBA Trois

What's Sisyphus' least favorite band?

Rolling Stones

During this period of the pandemic, a group of extraordinarily thin people came together to form a band.

It was a massive success. They were the best in their fields. The violin, oh so melodious! The synth on point everytime. The acoustics, superb.

One time they were offered to perform a virtual concert. All the tickets sold out.

But when the time came for them to perform, they couldn't connect to the internet.

They did not have enough bandwidth.

Apparently Tucker Carlson is starting a new band

Rage sponsored by the machine

What's the one note a black metal band will never play?

Gsus.

I think we need to pay the band more...

Why do you say that?

Because I saw them outside all having to share the same cigarette!

I used to play triangle in a reggae band.

I would stand at the back and ting.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the band musicians jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working band ska piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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