Band Jokes
158 band jokes and hilarious band puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about band that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny band jokes. From musicians to roadies, we've got jokes to make you laugh out loud.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Band Short Jokes
Short band jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The band humour may include short bard jokes also.
- What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul? BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.
- Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.
- i went to an REM concert back in '92. They're my favourite band so I wanted my photo taken with them.
That's me in the corner. - If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who. If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.
- British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k
- I was once in a band called "1023MB , I thought we had potential, but we just couldn't get a gig.
- If al gore had a band, it'd be called... The Algorithms.
I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :( - People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
- I used to play the triangle in a reggae band. But I got bored and quit because it was just one ting after another.
- Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going" "Band? We thought you said ban"
Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"
Share These Band Jokes With Friends
Band One Liners
Which band one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with band? I can suggest the ones about bung and concert.
- I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat' You've probably seen our posters.
- What's Sisyphus' least favorite band? Rolling Stones
- If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm
- What do you call a heavy metal band With financial problems? Megadebt
- My band is called 1023MB We haven't gotten a gig yet
- I started an emo salsa band We're called Hispanic at the Disco
- We had a band in High School called 1023 Megabytes. We never made it to a gig.
- I started a band with friends called 999 Megabytes Still haven't gotten a Gig though
- There is a band called 1023MB Unfortunately, they haven't had any gigs yet.
- There's a band called 1023MB It hasn't had any gigs yet.
- I started a band call 999 megabytes We haven't got a gig yet.
- My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs. lol
- I used to be in a band called The Prevention... We were better than the cure.
- I like to sleep with a fan on me at night. It's why I'm divorcing my wife to join a band
- Have you heard of the musical condoms? They started a rubber band.
Rock Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny rock band jokes and even better rock band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like metal bands with female lead singers... Something about women screaming makes me rock hard.
- The difference between a rock band and a jazz group The rock band will play 3 chords in front of 1000 people.
The jazz group will play 1000 chords in front of 3 people. - Life is hard in a band Me and the guys started a rock band, we call it 1023MB. But no matter how hard we look we cant find a gig.
- My grandfather used to play in a rock band called "The Hinges". They usually opened for The Doors.
- A Rock Band Plays 3 Chords for a 3000 Person Crowd Where as a jazz player will play 3000 chords for a 3 person crowd.
- If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a nickelback. I'll let myself out.
- I'm in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones. We're a rock band.
- I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band I have a Czech one too.
Czech one too. Czech one too. - Why did the Chicken want to join a rock band??? He was the only one with a set of drum sticks...
- What do you call a gun loving, Christian rock band? Guns N' Moses
Cover Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny cover band jokes and even better cover band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the bed bug band? They mostly play covers
(OC my dudes, read em and weep) - I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets' We've already been called the best cover band of all time
- My friends and I started a band and called it 'Books' so.. No one can judge us by our covers.
- Recently joined a Styx cover band We play the same songs, but heavier. We're called Logz.
- I'm in a band called 'Duvet' We're a cover band.
- Me and my friends from the obsessive compulsive support group are starting a rock cover band. We're calling ourselves OC/DC.
- I'm in a Sublime cover band I actually DO have to practice Santeria
- Why was the band named "Books" So no one would judge them by their covers
- When I lived in Rome I started a Blink-182 cover band... We called it Blink-CLXXXII
- Why is it so hard to find the world's best tribute band? Because they cover their tracks so well
Metal Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny metal band jokes and even better metal band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band? Sleigher
- I'm going to start a metal band that writes songs about how important it is to connect with people in your professional network... ...and call it LinkedIn Park.
I'll show myself out now. - Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band? Guns N' Moses
- So I started a new band. We scream aggressively about how broke we are to heavy guitar riffs.
We're called Debt Metal. - What do you call a punk band that knows how to play their instruments? A metal band
- So an IT guy is really bad at his job and decides to quit and start a Nu Metal band. It was named: System Always Down
- The special ed students made a metal band. It's called Syndrome of a Down.
- We're doing kids jokes? From my 10 year old this morning What's a bird's favourite band?
Metalli-CAH! (screech) - OJ Simpson has a new death metal band called: Black Stabbeth
- What was the Vegan Metal Bands name? Plantera
Boy Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny boy band jokes and even better boy band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Had to quit my band after nobody came to any of our gigs. Going to miss the boys from "Private Function".
- A German boy band that plays some insane classical stuff. Bachstreet Boys
- What do you call a band of albinos The bleach boys
- What's the most popular band in Chernobyl? Fall Out Boy
- The history of boy bands proves the theory of evolution They all descended from The Monkees.
- My friends and I started a band making music about good posture. We're called the Backstraight boys.
- Korean joke The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.
- What would be a great name for a Mexican Boy Band? Juan Direction.
- What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band? The bleach boys.
- Boy:"Hey,do you have a band aid?" Boy:"Hey,do you have a band aid?"
Girl:"NO,why?"
Boy:"I broke my knee when i fell for you "
Hilarious Band Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about band you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make band pranks.
I've just started a new band..
We are called '999 Megabytes'.....we have not done a gig yet.
Aerosmith
According to fellow band members, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady.
What is Santa's favorite band?
Slayer.
What is the Jenovah Witnesses' favourite band?
The doors.
The band The Doors have decided to change their name after the next member dies
It's gonna be Three Doors Down.
A young bride and groom to be
A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.
I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat
We're like Modest Mouse but way better
Muslim Band
I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.
They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.
They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".
Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down!
Then I heard this Muslim guy saying he had the entire Koran on a DVD.
I was interested, so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"
Well that was when the trouble started.
What do you call a band of killer whales?
An orcastra
Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?
Because you only need one arm to drum along..
There's this band called one thousand and twenty three megabytes
They haven't had any gigs yet.
Have you heard of the band 1023 Megabytes?
They've never had any gigs.
I used to play the triangle in a reggae band.
I would stand at the back, doing my ting.
A man asks a bartender: "How late does the band play?"
"Only about half a beat behind the drummer." The bartender replies.
Best explanation of Star Wars
The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a t**... attack which kills 300'000 people.
Boy wants a car from his Dad
the Dad says, "first you gotta cut that hair."
Boy says, "but Dad, Jesus had long hair"
and Dad says
"that's right son, and Jesus walked everywhere"
(credit goes to the band The Silver Jews)
My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..
"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."
I found out about this cool underground band called The Beatles.
Well actually only about half of them are underground at the moment.
I started a new band called 1023MB
We still haven't got a gig.
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
My mate is in a band called NS. At first, I was fascinated to find out what it stands for. But now I'm not too bothered.
It's nothing special.
I'm in a band called 1023 Megabytes.
We haven't made it to a gig yet.
Budum dum c**...
If a drummer quits band, but comes back later, would there be repercussions?
I don't understand why Ice Cube hates the police so much...
They are a really good band
Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums.
He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.
Metallica and Nonmetallica should come together...
To form a ionic band
Have you heard of the band 999 megabytes?
Probably not, they haven't got a gig yet
I'm in a band called The Introverted Pessimists
You've probably never heard of us, but that's fine.
My girlfriend is in a band
My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.
It was a cymbal of my love.
I hope this is an original joke.
Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.
The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:
'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"
"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.
Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:
'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"
The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"
The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:
'MY GOD!'"
My band used to have a Polish sound guy.
And we also had a Czech one, too.
Why are band and orchestra rated R?
All the sax and violins
Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.
One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"
Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."
"There is no band on this ship."
"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."
I used to know a guy who was in a band called 999 megabytes.
They were pretty good but they never made a gig.
I was in a band called Dark Web.
We was always on tor.
I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"
.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.
Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!
I met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan
She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical.
Then I saw her place...
I don't understand all this hate towards the police...
...I mean they're an amazing band.
I'm no expert on covid-19 but I do know the cure
They are an amazing band from the 80s.
I played bass on the original s**... Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!
Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the s**... Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!
A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...
... thanks for every ting.
I used to play the triangle in a reggae band
Had to leave cause it was one ting after another
My Father says he was in an 80's band...
I don't believe him but he's ADAMANT (sorry, I made that up!)
The band U2 recently developed a GPS...
It's terrible! The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a d**...-shaped cake?
v**... display of flour.
I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.
And then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva...
Def Leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving
Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.
Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.
Apparently Tucker Carlson is starting a new band
Rage sponsored by the machine
What's the difference between alcohol and w**...?
Five drunk guys will start a fight. Five s**... guys will start a band.
Whenever the wife and I fight I sit down and watch my wedding video in reverse
I take the wedding band off her finger, hand her back to her dad and walk out of the chapel with my best mate
