Bananas Jokes

Following is our collection of fruit humor and ripe one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bananas puns for adults, dirty apeshit jokes or clean no bananas gags for kids.

There is an abundance of crazy jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 65 funniest jokes on bananas. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any appeal witze you can hear about bananas.

The Best jokes about Bananas

TIL humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex.

The older chimp says: "When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."

A friend told me that all apples were yellow...

I was like, "that's bananas"

A girl realizes that she has grown hair between her legs

She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

People in the U.S. eat more bananas than monkeys.

In 2016, they ate 73,432,384 bananas,
and only ate 6 monkeys.

If farmer A sells apple's, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell?


My wife just told me that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I believe her, bananas are much easier to peel.

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair" the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"

Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .


In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gunshot just before I stopped breathing air.......

Is the KKK a good source of Potassium?

Yes, because they're all bananas.

why do i love bananas so much?

they have a peel


A young girl hit puberty and her body started to change. One day she noticed she was getting hair down there. She went to her mom confused and the mom explained that's your gorilla and it's getting hair. Very excited the young girl went to her older sister and exclaimed my gorilla is getting hair! . The older sister looked at her and said that's nothing, my gorilla is already eating bananas.

A chemist walks into a bar...

He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"

The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"

"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.

"Wow," says the bartender, "that's BaNaNaS!"

A man is buying a bananas, an apple and two eggs.

A man is buying a bananas, an apple and two eggs.

The female cashier says: "You must be single."

The man replied: " Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

A new study showed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I dont remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Friends are like bananas.

If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.

Study shows that people eat more bananas than monkeys

I don't even remember the last time I ate a monkey!

"Wanna hear a really good joke about half-grown bananas?"

"Nevermind, now's not the ripe time!" 😉

I made this myself, instead of sleeping at night.

A monkey walks into a bar...

...and asks the bartender:

- Do you have bananas?
- No.
- Do you have bananas?
- I said, no.
- Do you have bananas?
- No, are you deaf or what? If you ask me one more time if I have bananas, I'll NAIL your tongue at the counter!

- ... Do you have nails?
- No.
- Do you have bananas?

What do you call bananas that eat bananas?


My eight year old niece told me this. I think it's pretty funny!

An elephant is passing by an apple tree, and he spots a monkey up there. He asks the monkey,

"Hey monkey, what are you doing up there?"

*"I'm gonna eat bananas now."*

"Stupid monkey, you are sitting on an apple tree!"

*"Stupid elephant, I got bananas in my pocket."*

I am going bananas.

That's what I say to my bananas before I leave in the morning.

What do you call two bananas?

A pair of slippers

Maths lesson

Jimmy comes home from school and his mum asks him what he's learned
today. "I learned that if I have three apples and Jenny gives me two more apples, I'll have five apples."

"That's right," says his mum. "So if you have four bananas and I give you three more, how many will you have?"

"Dunno. We haven't done bananas yet."

TIL you can fit 30 bananas in a Kangaroo's pouch.

Also, I'm not allowed at the zoo anymore.

Did I tell you about my attempt to grow bananas in sand?

It was fruitless.

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.

A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. 

When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute !!"

My door to door fruit delivery business failed badly because of my poor people skills.

I was driving people bananas.

It's just a monkey.

When an adolescent girl starts growing pubes, she asks her mother about what's going on with her. The mother replies "it's just a monkey who is starting to grow hair". Later at the dinner table, she tells her older sister that her monkey had started growing hair. The sister replies "Mine even started eating bananas!".

I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...

Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.

I'm going bananas...

That's what I tell the bananas when I'm leaving.

A girl realised she had grown hair in betweem her legs

She asked her mother about that hair, her mom calmy replied:
"The part where that hair has grown is called monkey, so be proud your monkey has grown hair."

She was so happy at the table, she told her older sister her Monkey had grown hair.
Her sister smiled and said:
"Oh thats nothing, my Monkey is already eating bananas."

Why do bananas have bruises?

Because their peelings got hurt

Did you know, that we eat more bananas than monkeys?

Last year the UK ate 76,500,000 bananas and only 6 monkeys.

They say time flies like the wind..

But fruit flies like bananas

What's the difference between fruit flies and time?

Fruit flies like bananas, but time flies like the wind.

I just read that humans eat more bananas than monkeys

I cannot remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I was told that bananas keep the colon clean.

I just wish they had told me you are supposed to eat them.

I will work for Apple

But I take bananas too. Or just any food. Please.

Did you know that humans on average eat more bananas than monkeys?

Nobody I know has ever eaten a monkey before

If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 in the other, what does he have?

Very large hands

If bananas have potassium...

Does that mean potatoes have banassium?

Apparently humans eat more bananas then monkeys

It's true, i can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

Why do people like bananas?

Because they have appeal!

Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?

In 2015 humans consumed 65 million tons of bananas and only 8 monkeys.

Why did the apple salesman fire his delivery boy?

He was driving him bananas.

I forgot a bag of groceries in my taxi.

It's been driving me bananas.

A man started telling people he was a piece of fruit.

Everyone was convinced he was bananas

What's more annoying than a monkey trying to steal your banana?

Working at a Tesco supermarket in Produce, putting out loose bananas on display, and while trying to do so, customers keep barging their way in to you and remove the lovely bananas you just put there and leave with a remark on the lines of, "Sorry, I'm just going to ruin your display, HA HA".

Why are bananas so popular?

Because they have appeal

Bananas can stop diarhea very effectively

Just don't pull them out

Statistically humans eat more bananas than monkeys

Yeah, I don't see a lot of people eating monkeys around here

Have you ever played AD Soraka?

It's bananas!

"Bananas" and "synonymous" have the same amount of Ns and vowels

They're ... basically the same.

I like my women like I like my bananas.

Cold and covered in bruises.

Courtesy of my son's joke book. What's invisible and smells of bananas?

Monkey farts...

Did you hear about the guy who stole all the bananas from the market?

Nevermind, the story wouldn't appeel to you.

Personally, I don't like bananas.

But I can understand the, uh, peel.

What kind of vegetable is the craziest to eat? [OC]

Plantains – it's just bananas!

Thought this up while at work today, might not be original but it gave me a chuckle :)

How do bananas fundraise?

They make an appeal.

I came up with a new game:

Two players need a chessboard, a diamond ace, a dice, a bunch of bananas, two condoms and a set of kitchen knives. Players must improvise. After two hours, host opens an envelope with the rules, and players will find out which of them has lost the least.

I called this game "Life".

Following US politics is like watching a mad biologist at work.

You can see an orange going bananas right before your eyes.

What do apples, bananas and babies have in common?

They all start going bad once exposed to air.

Why do bananas need to use sunscreen?

cuz they peel.

Humans are just like bananas..

no one likes the black ones.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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