Banana Peel Jokes
86 banana peel jokes and hilarious banana peel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about banana peel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Banana Peel Short Jokes
Short banana peel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The banana peel humour may include short orange peel jokes also.
- My wife just told me that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I believe her, banana are much easier to peel.
- My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling very well. - Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued? He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.
- A blonde is walking down the street and sees a banana peel 10 ft in front of her She says to herself "Oh no not again."
- How much time goes by between when you slip on a banana peel and when you hit the ground? A bananosecond.
- What happened in the theater in Princeton when someone put a banana peel in the aisle in front of the doctor? The Fall of the Usher of House
- What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana? He re-peeled it.
- first grade level joke why did the banana put on sun screen?
answer: so it wouldn't peel! - A lime and banana decided to become a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves ... Key and Peele.
- Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel!
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Banana Peel One Liners
Which banana peel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with banana peel? I can suggest the ones about potato peeling and apple fruit.
- why do i love bananas so much? they have a peel
- What do you call 2 banana peels? A pair of slippers
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.
- Where did the two bananas settle their legal dispute? The court of A-peels
- Why did the banana put on sunscreen? Because it peels!
- Why do bananas have bruises? Because their peelings got hurt
- Why didn't the filipino banana go to work today? He wasn't peeling well.
- What did one banana say to another banana? I find you a-peeling
- Personally, I don't like bananas. But I can understand the, uh, peel.
- Why is a banana the most attractive fruit? Everyone finds it a-peeling.
- How did the banana get out of jail? On a peel
- Why didn't the banana like the cow? The cow wasn't very a-peel-ing
- What do you do when you're sunburned? Make like a banana and peel.
- What did the therapist ask the banana after it walked into his office? How do you peel?
- Why couldn't the banana get a date? It didn't have a peel.
Banana Peel Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about banana peel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean banana jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make banana peel pranks.
There once was a baby born with no arms. His parents put him on the church's stairs and vanished.
The local priest took him in and raised him, eventually giving him the job of ringing the bell for evening mass. So, each day, the child lined up from across the room and ran as fast as he could to hit the bell with his head.
One day, the priest ate a banana and left the peel lying by the bell. As the child was running running running, he slipped on the banana peel and fell out the window to his death. When the cops came to investigate, the asked the priest for the child's name.
The priest said I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.
What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt?
I know that peel.
Why don't bananas ever need doctors?
'cause they got their own peels(pills)!!!
What's a bananas favourite business to own?
A peel-estate business
London Joke
Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction?
Because it was a-peeling on the Eye.
What did the Banana say to the Monkey?
Yo
You peel me?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two bananas
Two bananas walk into a s**... club.
One banana looks over at the other and says, "This is quite a peeling."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend...
An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary. She wants to do something special for him that night, and decides that she wants to go down on him, but alas has no experience. She asks her friend for advice, who then hands her a banana and says "Here, practice with this."
Sure enough, the blonde girls peels the banana and goes to town on it like a d**... professional. Her friend says "See, you're doing great! Don't change a thing!"
The next day the blonde's friend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. "How did everything go?" She asks.
The blonde says "Pretty great. Didn't know there would be that much screaming and blood though."
"Blood?" Her friend asks, "Where did the blood come from?"
"The peeling."
A banana walk in to a doctors office...
A banana walks in to a doctors office and says to the doctor "I'm not peeling very well!" ;-; Sorry...
What did the banana peel say when the monkey trampled over it?
Nothing! Banana peels don't speak.
Why is the Italian banana single?
He-a lost his-a peel.
What is the monkey that can't peel the banana?
Terrible at CC
I can't argue with your love for bananas
They have a peel...
What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel??
"Meowch!"
A banana was on sale for a dollar..
Well it wasn't a whole banana, but it was a-peeling
Why was the streaking banana able to re-offend?
He was out on a peel.
Rotten Bananas aren't very...
a-peeling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate bananas
They're una-peel-ing
Why did the monkey go to a Banana Convention?
because he thought it was going to be a peeling
[OC] There is a new movie about a gorilla peeling a banana
Critics say it's ape-peeling
How do you peel a banana?
1. Get banana sunburned. Banana will soon begin to peel.
2. Scare banana. Grab skin when it jumps out of it.
3. Hypnotize banana. Tell banana it is a snake. Banana will shed skin.
4. Call banana yellow. Banana will want to fight. Will remove jacket.
Did you hear about the stand up with the banana's stand up act?
I heard it was a-peeling!
Why are bananas inconsiderate drivers?
They always peel out.
I wrote a joke for banana farmers
But I decided it needed to a-peel to a wider audience.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the h**... who had a bed made of bananas?
She had s**... a-peel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girlfriend wants her boyfriend dead
But she doesn't know how to commit a m**.... She calls one of her best friends and tells her I want him dead, but I'm to scared to do it. Could you help?
Her best friend tells her It's alright, I got this and I'll make it look like an accident.
The next day the police are called because a dead body was found in an alleyway. A crime scene is set up and a detective does his detective work. After he's done an officer asks him So detective, what did you discover?
The detective looks at the officer and tells him Well it appears that someone beat this man to death with what seems to be a crowbar and then placed a banana peel 4 feet behind him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dad peels banana...
When i was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana...
Dad:
peels the first s**... of the banana peel...
"One skin"
Peels the second s**......
"Two skin"
"Three skin"
"Five skin"
Me: "What happened to the Four skin"
Dad: "Jewish banana"
I was twelve and I finally figured it out....
Why is the banana a bad PVPer?
He's gotta peel!!!
I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...
Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute !!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Friends are like bananas.
If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the orange say to the banana?
You look very a-peeling.
Just kidding. You look o*K*.
**The banana, like many of the people reading this, was not amused.**
Would you like to try our new Banana Split dessert?
It has a lot of a-peel.
(I tell this one at work all the time 😝)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is sitting on a park bench
Next to him is a large salt shaker and a bag filled with a bunch of bananas. Periodically the old man takes out a banana, carefully peals it, salts it with the shaker, grimaces, then throws it away in a nearby trashcan.
A woman observes him do this with several bananas and after a while finally can't hold back her curiosity. She asks:
"Old man, why are you peeling and salting these bananas and then throwing them out?"
The old man looks at her, scowling, and responds:
"I g**... hate bananas and I hate salty bananas even more!"
What does a banana have that you don't ?
A peel.
if Star-Lord steps on a banana peel and falls over...
... is it considered a Prattfall?
Why is the banana such a popular fruit?
Because it has a peel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Peeled banana identify as a twin tower?
Because my mom made me brownies last night and she said go to bed after that so then I took a shower and prayed to shrek to r**... me
A guy slips over a banana peel.
Ouch, that hurt.
What to bananas and women have in common?
They both bruise easily. And when you peel them you notice the bruising continues under the skin.
What do bananas have in common with old people?
They both bruise easily. And when you peel the skin, you realize sometimes the bruising goes beyond the surface.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you eat a banana?
*Peel back the f**...*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Humans are like bananas.
If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
I just learned from a LPT that if you peel a banana from the bottom all those tasteless fibery strands come off with the peel. Since it works so well I asked my kids if they wanted a banana...
No strings attached
A few bananas are planning a heist
Right before they leap into action, they decide to run through the process again so all bananas know what they're doing.
Firstly, two bananas will be creating a distraction a distance away from the heist. Then, the rest of the bananas will scatter to confuse the enemy and start the heist.
After going through the process a few more times, the bananas are certain that they know what to do, and thus a couple bananas peel off and the rest of the bananas split.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lion notices a monkey by a river, dipping a banana peel into the water
He watches her for a few minutes, as she dips the peel, keeps it under water, and then takes it out, watches the water a bit, repeats. Finally, the lion gives up trying to make sense of the sequence.
"Hey, monkey"
"Hey, lion"
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Ten bucks and I will explain"
The lion pays her.
"Thanks. I'm dipping a banana peel in the water"
"w**..., monkey? You're the biggest idiot I've ever seen!"
"Sure, I'm an idiot, but I'm making $40 an hour."