Ban Jokes

129 ban jokes and hilarious ban puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ban that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for some hilarious Ban jokes to share with your friends? Check out this collection of jokes that poke fun at the various bans we face, ranging from hosepipe bans to Facebook bans. Whether you’re looking for a cheeky joke about alcohol bans or a forbidden pun about a driving ban, this article has got you covered! Laugh away and get ready to hear your mates go “Harambae!”.

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Funniest Ban Short Jokes

Short ban jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ban humour may include short tally ban jokes also.

  1. Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
    Please don't ban me
  2. What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul? BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.
  3. China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons. One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
  4. I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland
  5. I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban... I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??
  6. Why is Trump excited Russia was banned from the 2018 winter Olympics? It makes it easier to decide who to cheer for
  7. Just been banned from a Christian dating website. Apparently "Hung_Like_Jesus" isn't an appropriate user name!
  8. OPEN LETTER TO qatar: you're seriously banning homosexuality at your World Cup? Come on guys…
  9. What do you get when you mix Human DNA and goat DNA? A stern police warning and a lifetime ban from the petting zoo
  10. Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.

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Ban One Liners

Which ban one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ban? I can suggest the ones about endorse and rise.

  1. Chess is banned under Islam They hate that the queen moves freely.
  2. I got banned from laser tag today. Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.
  3. What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? Banned from of Seaworld
  4. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the zoo.
  5. What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? ...banned from the petting zoo...
  6. Why is it so hard to do inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally-ban.
  7. I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle... ..and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 😕
  8. North Korea bans sarcasm What a great idea.
  9. Where do admins go for summer break? Banned camp.
  10. Iran bans Americans from traveling there. Won't beheading there anymore
  11. My father has the heart of a lion... And also a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  12. Why'd the gardener get banned from the hospital? He kept watering the vegetables.
  13. After 23 school shootings in 2018 We did it. We finally banned straws.
  14. I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  15. I made a little sandcastle with my grandpa. Now I'm banned from the crematorium.

Tally Ban Jokes

Here is a list of funny tally ban jokes and even better tally ban puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan? because of the tally-ban
  • They can no longer count animals in Afghanistan Because there is a tally-ban
  • It's no longer legal to use hash marks to count in Afghanistan This is because of the new tally ban rule.
  • Did you hear that sports are no longer allowed to keep score in Afghanistan? It's a tally ban
  • It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
  • Why are voting results inaccurate in Afghanistan? It's because of the tally ban.
  • Why is it hard to keep score in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban
  • Why can't you use strike-marks to count in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban!
  • Why can't schools in Afghanistan teach kids to count by drawn lines? Because of the tally ban
  • They have had to cancel this years Census in Afghanistan This is directly due to the tally-ban

Driving Ban Jokes

Here is a list of funny driving ban jokes and even better driving ban puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've been banned from all McDonald's for destroying a restaurant and killing 6 people. It wasn't my fault, the sign said to drive through.
  • My friend's mum has a saying "40 is the new 30". Lovely woman. Banned from driving though.
  • They banned texting while driving in my state... ...Now I read books and practice juggling.
  • I got banned from driving for speeding. The emergency unit where I work are overly cautious.
  • If Trump bans trans from the Army, they won't be going anywhere. Seriously, the engines can't just hook up to the drive shafts or there won't be enough torque.
  • I've been banned because of drunk driving. The workers at the go kart centre need to lighten up.

Ray Ban Jokes

Here is a list of funny ray ban jokes and even better ray ban puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What sunglasses can see inside your eyes? X-Ray Bans
  • what kind of sunglasses doe Janay Rice wear? Ray-Bans!
  • The European Union has decided to vote against laser-based weaponry development. The council has declared they are considering
    ( •_•)
    ( •_•)>⌐■-■
  • My friend is no longer allowed to buy sunglasses He's been given a Ray-Ban
  • Why is sunshine no longer allowed in California? They passed a law implementing Ray Bans.
  • Why does the UN ban shrink rays? It's a weapon of mass reduction.
  • Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans? > marked as spam
  • So that o**... tried to sell "genuine" Ray-Bans to me for $5... I passed, it seemed like a pretty shady deal

Facebook Ban Jokes

Here is a list of funny facebook ban jokes and even better facebook ban puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How did realism get me banned from Facebook? I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.
  • Unfair , girls get over 400 likes when they show a little n**... on facebook When I showed a little head I only got banned

Delightful Fun Ban Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about ban you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean outlaw jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ban pranks.

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, s**... and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times

Just like yo mamma

They prohibited television in Afghanistan

They call it,
the Telly Ban.

Can we ban yo momma jokes in this sub? They old, s**... and been done by like literally everyone a thousand times

Just like yo momma


"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"

Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"

"Band? We thought you said ban"
Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"

Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

I have the heart of a lion...

and a lifelong ban from the zoo.

My grandfather has a heart of a tiger.

He also has a lifetime ban at the zoo.

I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox…

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

"Bill to ban shark fin harvesting", and "Bill to increase minimum wage" and "Bill to help ease the burden of Vets"...with all these good things happening, it makes me wonder...

...why did he wait so long?

I have the heart of a lion...

and a lifetime ban at the zoo

I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.

Not on my watch.

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion!

And a ban from the cincinnati zoo

What do you get when you cross a bat and a man?

A ban. Specifically, a lifetime ban from the genetics labs, as well as a visit from the ethics committee.

A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.

Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.

I can't believe DCU fans wanted to ban Amber Heard

From their movies there seems to be no better place to s**... the bed.

Republicans in Congress have proposed a bill to ban the sale of shredded cheese in supermarkets across the country

They want to Make America Grate Again.

My grandfather had the heart of a tiger

And a lifetime ban at the zoo

In Afghanistan, they've made it i**... to count the votes cast in any election.

It's the Tally Ban.

The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..

Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

What do you get if you have the eyes of a hawk, heart of a lion, and the ears of a fox?

A lifetime ban from the zoo

Why did the Weimar Republic ban balloons?

Because of the Hyperinflation.

The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves their arms exposed

I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms
(Yes, this is actually happening)

I was filling my car with leaded gasoline wearing some comfortable aesbestos boots. As I popped a thalidomide pill into my mouth I thought...

"A government ban on assault weapons would never work..."

My grandpa has got the heart of a lion

and a life time ban from the zoo.

TIL why scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat.

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.
Please don't ban me.

Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.

Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."

What do you get when you put human DNA in a monkey?

A lifetime ban from the Zoo

My Grandad is a truly special man

He has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh Zoo.

What do you get when you cross human DNA with a penguin?

A life time ban at the zoo

I have started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs.

So far, I've got 15,000 signatures.

From my 8 year old...

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an IPad? A pineapple.
Don't ban me please.

I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese.

Part of his plan to make America grate again.

Ban weapons of mass dyslexia!

Before they start an unclear war.

I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World

Guess we should of had her cremated first

What do you call a Canadian b**...?

Aboot eh
(I'll ban myself)

There is a new t**... religion that hates addition

The Tally Ban

We need to ban pre shredded cheese...

Make America grate again.

I have the eye of a tiger, and the heart of a lion.

I also have a permanent ban from the zoo, and a few restraining orders

My dad has the heart of a lion

And a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo.

Why did the duck get arrested

he got caught selling quack.
ok you can ban me now.

Why don't they have showers on airplanes?

Because of the towel ban.

My dad has the heart of a lion

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Because of his loss in Wisconsin, Trump has put a ban on all shredded cheese.

It's the only way he can make America GRATE again.
Credit to my 12 year old son.

I hope they never ban algebra...

Think of the aftermath!

Double standards are not fair!

When miley cirus gets n**... and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea.

Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese

He wanted to Make America Grate again.

Why did the dictator ban carousel rides in his country?

He deemed them revolutionary.

I tried to make a LGBTQ+ joke

But nobody got it straight
Here comes my ban.......

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Almost every joke subreddit will ban you for making fun of Mark Zuckerberg's company.

I just checked, they have rules against Meta posts.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion

And a life time ban from the local zoo

Request to ban Amber Heard jokes.

They're s**....

I just figured out why USA is about to ban abortion (dark)

That's to have more targets for their school shootings

When they ban the device I use to s**... my drink up into my mouth...

That will be the last straw.

I read that conservatives want to ban CRT.

I'm not happy with that. I can't afford a new television right now.

Two r**... Eagles are drinking in a bar

One turns to the other, with his leg out, and says You hear bout that Talon ban in the Middle East?

Netflix and Amazon Prime are no longer available in Afghanistan.

Because of the telly ban.

Ana will be barred from the fruit market

Ban Ana

What do you call the ban on same s**... marriage?

Rainbow s**... Seize

my great great grandmother has eyes of a hawk

she also has a lifetime ban on the bird park

I always admired my grandfather. He had the heart of a lion and the brain of a eagle.

He also had a lifetime ban from the zoo.

My city decided to ban alcoholic drinks

Our health department started reporting 0 cases of corona

In Santa Barbara...

restaurant employees could face up to six months jail time for giving out straws.
That means seconds before the ban went into effect, a waiter could have handed one out and said, "This is the last straw."

My dad always said that real men have the heart of a lion.

So today I decided that it was finally time to be a real man. I succeeded but I have to go to court for animal cruelty and I received a life time ban from all zoos.

I used to play violin in a string quartet. Sadly one of our musicians was on drugs.

So we've had to ban Jo.

How Does Leah Like Her Bathwater?

My 9yo came up with this, don't ban me please lol

Ban Shampoo!

Demand the real p**...!

So NASCAR has decided to ban confederate flags at all events...

Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them.

jokes about ban