Bamboo Jokes

Following is our collection of cane humor and plant one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bamboo puns for adults, dirty woven jokes or clean hardwood gags for kids.

There is an abundance of kungfu jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 28 funniest jokes on bamboo. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any roots witze you can hear about bamboo.

The Best jokes about Bamboo

What kind of plant is the scariest?


A Christian man ends up on a deserted island...

He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said, That's my house. They then asked about the second structure. That's where I go to Church. The man replied. Then they asked about the third structure. A scowl came over the mans face as he told the rescuers, That's where I used to go to Church.

What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a ghost?


What do you get if you cross Bambi and a ghost?


What is a panda afraid of?


Did you hear about the guy who had his bamboo plant stolen?

He was bamboozled


A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the panda at the door.

" Hey, you just shot my waiter!" screams the manager.

The panda replies "I'm a panda, it's what I do. Look it up."

As the panda walks out the door the manager runs to his office and looks up panda in the dictionary:

Panda\- A mammal from the bear family with black and white markings originating from the continent of Asia.

Eats shoots and leaves.

My girlfriend asked me: "Have you ever heard of a scare-plant?"

I asked: "What's a scare-plant?"
Her: "BamBOO!"

What do scary pandas eat?


What doea a panda call a jumpscare?


What did the ghost in the Japanese Forest say to surprise those walking through it?


(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago!

Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong.

What do you call bamboo clusters that follow you?


Two communists are in a nudist club, reclining in the nude in bamboo chairs, when one turns to the other and asks "Have you read Marx?"

The reply he gets: "Yeah; wouldn't have happened if these were couches!"

Why did the male koala invite the female koala over to his bamboo.

He wanted to have a treesome.

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...

...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-packs.

What do you get when you cross shaggy and a stick of bamboo?


How do you bamboozle a fool?

(Spoiler hidden)

I wish I could be bamboozled one day

Because being bamboozled everyday is just bullshit

which is the scariest plant?



Two guys are walking in a bamboo forest when the spot a panda. One says to the other "Dude, that panda just ate an entire bamboo shoot!" The panda then pulls out a gun and shoots the one man. The other man says "Why did you shoot my friend?" The panda tosses him an encyclopedia and says "I'm a panda, look it up." The panda bear walks off as the man skims through the pages. He finds the panda entry and reads it aloud. "Panda Bear: Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves."

Why did the panda bring a bamboo to the fight?

Because bamboo shoots.

What type of bamboo fertilizer was banned due to the chaotic destruction it caused the environment?


Why did the panda travel to Wall Street?

To buy bamboo stalks!

Which is the plant that gives more fear?

The bam-BOO

What does a panda eat on Halloween?


World Bamboo day

Shoot, I missed it

What is the spookiest plant this month?


Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes