Baltimore Jokes

Following is our collection of moba humor and boston one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Baltimore puns for adults, dirty philadelphia jokes or clean philly gags for kids.

There is an abundance of riot jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes on baltimore. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any referee witze you can hear about baltimore.

The Best jokes about Baltimore

I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore.

The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery.

Baltimore, eat a snickers.

You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry.

The Avengers are over rated.

The Baltimore rioters destroyed half a city without any superpowers at all.

Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore?

So far they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements.

When the Baltimore rioters looted the CVS, they stole everything except for the Father's Day cards.


Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had sex in the shower.

The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.

Did you guys hear about the shoe store that got looted in Baltimore?

The only thing they left were the work boots.

A friend went to the CVS in Baltimore after the looting to pick up some items,

the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards.

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

Rioters are destroying Baltimore.

Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe.

Get rich quick scheme #12

Sell windows/glass in Baltimore


A lawyer boarded an airplane

in Baltimore with a box of frozen soft shell crabs and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator..
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in Sarasota Florida, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in Baltimore , please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up .... so she took them home and ate them.

I hope the Orioles keep up their winning streak,

Baltimore has been on fire lately.

What did the baltimore police officer say about the black man who got shot 12 times?

Worst suicide he'd ever seen

What wasn't stolen when CVS was looted during the Baltimore riots?

The Father's Day cards.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What do your mom and the Baltimore Police have in common?

They both like giving nickel rides to black men!

Best punch of the week still belongs to the Baltimore mum vs. her son.

Ive been living in Baltimore for 2 years now and I don't know why people are so afraid of this city.

I've only been shot once!


Driving in Maryland

My girlfriend was next to me in my car the other day. We're driving through Baltimore and she says "Did you know Maryland is the third worst state to drive in?" over and over and over. About six miles later I get pulled over by a cop. The cop says "uhh sir? You do realize your girlfriend fell out of the car five miles back right?" And I said "Wow, and here I thought I was lucky enough to go deaf!"

Baltimore Ravens go low carb

Baltimore ravens go low carb and cut Rice. (I will see myself out)

Kevin Hart is performing in Baltimore tonight.....

Should be a riot :p

The Best Buy in Baltimore is having a sale on TVs.

It's a steal!

What is the worst city to be a cop in?

Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work.

What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services?

9-1-1

Soo.... baltimore.

Probably not the best idea to burn down a cvs pharmacy. The entire city needs a chill pill.

News: Video of black Baltimore mother beating her rioting son goes viral.

She beat him so hard the police gave her a job application.

The mayor of Baltimore

ACT FAST!! Huge discounts at all stores in Baltimore.

use promo code "Freddie Gray" at checkout.

sorry guys, but the discounts are in-store only.

What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore?

Old Bae

Did you hear about the housing prices in Baltimore?

I hear they're a riot!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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